THE FESTIVAL INSIDER Who’s getting up to what

I Those. like Insider. who detest sandal footwear will have chuckled at the snide criticism of ‘Jesus creepers' in the Film Festival's opening movie. Amelie. Insider found the leather sandal. socks and shorts combo modelled in the film by the middle-aged comic actor known only as Rufus at once hilarious and disturbing. Imagine. then, the shock when Ame/ie's director Jean-Pierre Jeunet strode on stage to introduce his film . . . wearing a long grey trouser. no socks and open-backed slip-on shoes (read: sandal) package. Insider hopes this doesn't herald a sandal revival.

I it's a sticky subject. but an emerging theme of Festival life this August is bodily fluids. And their release. Had you been watching a show in the Assembly Rooms last Saturday you may have caught what was either an extreme example of performance art or the venue staff bundling a man down the stairs and out of the building after he was discovered urinating in the building but not in the toilets. The following night a couple were discovered in mld-coltal embrace in the Postman Pat playpen for kids in Charlotte Square Gardens. The Book Festival bonkers were immediately ejaculated. sorry erected. sorry ejected from the square. And if you think that's bad. the Thursday before the above two occurrences a young woman chanced upon the arresting sight of a gentleman masturbating onto East London Street. Apparently, he 'just couldn't wait'. Finally. cabaret artist Merri-May Gill was temporarily thrown when a member of her audience regurgitated a number of pints of beer in her direction on what's fast becoming known as 'evil Saturday'. Insider awaits the taeces follow-through to the bodily fluids trend.


I Here's another marvelloust enlightening press quote. a review of Macbeth at the Gilded Balloon in a publication called Hairline (a specialist magazine for either those gents with more than their fair share of forehead or those with an unfathomable interest in very small cracks). The review reads: “Brilliantly pOrtrayed. this violent and dark production is let down by the script'. This must be a Fringe first of a different kind.

date back to next year. thus bowing out of the cripplingly expensive Oscar race. That doesn't rule out an earlier UK release of the film. though an American film premiering in Britain before America is an unusual tale.

I Philip Howard. artistic director of the Traverse Theatre. did a deal with his press and marketing people. If his production of Iain Heggie‘s Wiping My Mother’s Arse won a Fringe First. he proposed. then would they let him display a line from one of the negative reviews? ‘Yes', they said. and sure enough. it won a Fringe First and they duly pasted up a quote from that old rag The Daily Telegraph: ‘This is a thoroughly nasty play'.

I Further to last week's Jenner’s window story (that oh-so-witty pun that reads. “Festival? We thought you said festive“). we hear of the wag walking along Princes Street whose comment was: ‘Shop Window? Oh! We thought you said Shit Window'.

I Notorious comedy ravers Cydendellc managed to get themselves arrested last week. After leading the audience out for a bit of “direct action’ action. ie lying in the road while shouting ‘reclaim the streets'. the rozzers swooped. Apparently, they didn't see the funny side of the trio's militant comedy tactics and gave them a firm telling off. However. Insider doubts this will be the end of the act's general disregard for authority.

I 'I don't go to the Film Festival because I can see the films in normal cinemas a couple of weeks later.‘ Really? Well. you quite possibly won't be seeing Storytelling. Todd Solondz's eagerly-awaited follow up to Welcome To The Dollhouse and Happiness. anytime soon if you don't catch its Festival screening. Fine Line. the American ‘indie studio' handling the film's US release. has moved its release

l -1 1V: u 57‘


BOB DOOLALLY (Stand Comedy Club, 7.45pm) selects Scotland’s top five football ground toilets.

1 Celtic Park, Glasgow The new Celtic toilets are of such a high standard the club's board hopes to move them to England. Unlike the old Parkhead bogs. which were full of hypodermic needles. sectarian graffiti and fornicating couples. Anytime someone came in for a shite. it felt like a breath of fresh air.

2 Hibernian FC, Easter Road, Edinburgh Commodious toilet facilities are available in the new West Stand. possibly ending a century-old tradition of urinating on the carpets of the Boundary Bar in Leith Walk. Condom machines have been installed by Hlbs owner, Kwik- Fit tycoon Tom Farmer. If they burst within six months, they’ll fit a new one free.

3 Motherwell FC, Fir Park The highest toilets of any football ground in the UK. so you have the chance to piss all over the whole of industrial Lanarkshire. something successive UK governments have done.

4 Albion Rovers FC, Cliftonville, Coatbrldge The entire ground is a toilet.

5 Rangers FC, Ibrox, Glasgow As with Celtic. the new Iawies are so good. the management hopes to move them to England.

EDITH MACARTHUR, starring in Wiping My Mother’s

Arse (Traverse, ‘* times vary), Q 6 picks her best u - .v holiday , destinatlons. ,. A,

1 E29 One of the tiny ‘villages perchees' on France's Cote d'Azure. l was there one lovely Easter.

2 The Alhambra, Granada, Spain Can I have it all to myself?

3 Venice But I'll miss the beautiful Fenice Opera House sadly burnt down since l was last there.

4 Prague Simply magic and glorious theatres.

5 St Petersburg 'Leningrad' when I was last there in the 70s I remember opera and ballet at the Kirov and oh! the Hermitage.


Various shows on the Edinburgh Fringe

Richie Clare

Rant, Gilded Q ln Bed With Robin

Balloon j, l " Hood, Gilded

Very good. Balloon

strong A fun idea. and :t

performance. was quite amusmg;

powerful stage but l'm not sure if it

presence. The really came

hour flew by. together. i was bemused.


Tally-Ho. Gilded Balloon

It was clever. and interesting. but it wasn't actually that funny. I mustered a Chortle, but not much more.


The Bootlegs. Gilded Bailoop

was embarrassed to see grown men making such fools of themselves. It wasn't funny, it wasn't clever. :t was just awful.

23 Aug—6 Sept 2001 THE LIST FESTIVAL GUIDE 5