‘;\

Up above the streets and houses, GEOFFREY HAYES is flying

high. Watch out Rod, Jane and Freddy: the Rainbow revival starts here. Words: Mark Fisher

0 what does he look like now? 5 That's the question everyone asks

about the man whose bright-eyed enthusiasm charmed its way through 20 years of daytime kids TV. What exactly does happen to those bOyish hosts once it's time to take off the multicoloured dungarees and leave the glove puppets behind? Do they hit a delayed adulthood or are they caught. Peter Pan-like. in a perpetual bubbly youth?

Well. here's the news. There's no portrait

in Geoffrey Hayes‘ loft . . . although it's possible he buys his clothes from a shop called Dorian Gray. l arrange to meet him in a suburban youth club near his home in south-west London and in strolls this tall

man with longish grey hair and most surprisingly - a ruddy complexion.

He's wearing a red baseball cap. a grey fleece. white trousers and a pair of white

GEOFFREY HAYES

Geoffrey. ‘I talk about how we got together which is not the truth then suddenly disaster happens: the show gets axed." That‘s the fantasy. what about the reality? How did it feel for him when a 20- year stint came to an end. a period which followed a busy career as a rep actor and Z Cars regular? ‘It was a bit upsetting.‘ he says. drawing on a fag (Geoffrey! Smokingli ‘There was a six-month period in 1994 when the phone just stopped ringing. So yes. I became a bit difficult to live with. But it passed. Then I head rumours that it was coming back and l was Quite hopeful. then I got a call from The Sun saying: "Did you hear. Geoffrey. Rainbow's coming back. but

you're not going to be on it?" I was gobsmacked.‘

The intervening years have filled up with a postmodern list of Rainbow-related

E I I Some comics come to Edinburgh with their eyes on the Perrier prize. Others see it as the perfect opportunity to woo TV producers to get their own graveyard sitcom slot. Maybe some are just hellbent on providing an expectant public with their own brand of comedy gold. ROSS NOBLE is using this August to garner the necessary amount of radioactive emissions to turn himself into the next world- conquering superhero. Honestly. Rather than count the gags, he’s brought his untrusty Geiger counter to check out the

quality of ions within Auld Reekie’s boundaries. Here are the less than

scientific l’GSUltS . . . Photos: Mark Robertson

. ~75

(1) Ross Geigers the rubbish outside the Hotel Ibis: ‘It sounds like an Eagles song.’ (2) ‘BLOODY SPIDERMAN! I CURSE YOUR RADIOACTIVE WAYS!’

training shoes. He looks like someone trying to look like Chris Tarrant. But he's comfortable with it and. hey. he‘s Geoffrey out of Rainbow so maximum respect.

Just before Geoffrey‘s arrival. the company manager tells me that there are places in Over the Rainbow where Geoff goes into Geotfrey-from-Rainbow mode and he and the director revert to their five-year- old selves. This is the man who was a lunchtime father figure to a nation of toddlers from 1973—1992. He can induce a Pavlovian response just by putting a sparkle in his eye and saying: 'Hello. girls and boys.‘

He does it once as I speak to him and I suddenly see the Geoffrey I remember. So what‘s he up to now? Well, he's doing a kind of fictionalised account of his own life. a fantasy version of the end of Rainbow in which Bungle joins a boy band and Zippy opts for a life of post-Thatcherite greed. ‘l reminisce about Rainbow and those 20 years in an affectionate and funny way.‘ says

pantomimes. Summer seasons. 'school' discos. an advert in which he played a has- been star and Shaun Ryder's dance version of the Rainbow theme. It's a career that plays to the nostalgia market. but when I suggest that there must be an element of taking the piss. he is genuinely thrown. ‘I haven't thought abOut that.‘ he hesitates. ‘No, not really. When we do the discos. the reception we get is genuine affection. Peeple say thank yOLl so much for being part of my childhood. They really mean it.' Any regrets? ‘It was 20 happy years.’ he says. unabashed. 'The greatest time of my life. And I'm over the fact that it's hindered my serious acting. I've always thought: “Why can't they accept me?" And I guess it's because I'm associated with a pink thing and a yellow thing with a zip on its gob."

Over the Rainbow, Pleasance Dome, 556 6550, until 26 Aug, 9pm, 529-5211 (28-210).

IF YOU LIKE THIS. YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

Bagpuss. For nostalgia fans and their children. Perret and Limb are breathing new life into the stuffed cat who mended things for a girl called Emily in a shop overlooked by an army of mice. Creator Oliver Postgate has denied that it was an allegory about capitalism. See Festival Kids page 34. Pleasance Dome, 556 6550, 3—25 Aug, 7 7. 15am, £5 (£3).

16 THE LIST FESTIVAL GUIDE 1-8 Aug 2002