To disperse the furore surrounding ROSS NOBLE‘s ticket prices. the o meandering mirthster and friend of all things collectable shares his top six ways to spend £15. Other than watching him. of course. - ; Caroline Kerr
1 Smash Up a Pound Shop Take 5:153 and find the (:eraii‘ir: 2 Spend One Hour on a Child’s Motorised Toy 3 Play Bingo ' . .i v " i" :
teddy hears and all those shit ornaments and rust take a hit oi l‘iiose toys used 1': tie: 911:7. fu‘l'fln " fit ia. i’\.' if" z . r : ' .
time to destro‘,’ thern. When the shop staff threaten to call the they're about ‘uif‘. Aizd Law a . .r‘;. a': l' {at . :ff-"' r " '* '1: f" :' . .. .. 2 police, pay for the damage. and there's nothing they can do. l about an hour for 5 ‘fr tats/:aiisr- f'w». . gr ‘ 'a " i .:" i' r. r' i' ' wt have actually done that With a mate of mine in Cork. We went <1oirple(;fiiiiiiiit<:s. t‘tiiikafte' f'irr‘a'i‘: .4 . . 2 ' '1 1' . . .i ‘ .-. . :- r'oiind loads of pound shops and started off by JUSI knocking start to want sorr‘etiir'tg <l.‘t'eh-'i:“f that'm .i ‘_' w t E-i .'. '." u : something off the shelf. and then offering to pay for it. \"\./e fl(?ll(3()[)i(?l and a i:ar_ so that you can hi: i". tw- ‘tz' a'ii: : in;
were like a couple of little kids. pretend you're chasing a littllfiiiltir’r!
6 Purchase 36 Hearing Aid Batteries . '
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5 Treat Yourself to 15 Hits from a Bargain Bin ham.
4 BUY 3 CUP of Coffee You can spend $113 on a It's the equivalent of about 1:") hours of Phi7 Collins' a il, L]!‘.(r their a to" prim-hwy “rift”, rm ."l r r- cup of coffee on any buffet car or statiOn platform. music from your local iiiark-do'.-.in retailer; l'he, Here the Mr is l'a, 'l‘il". mt tin xvii/,i ’,i'_2."-’:.":‘r
Have you travelled on a train? It's a constant source singles. actually. so it's maybe exen less tin‘e f?‘(l.’l I Xi:;:,e:,~‘:)¢, H;,<>ii~.,. (in’flqw 81".» -,', tr
of annoyance. mat. A”. rm,“ _; w], 5 u),
PAUL MCDERMOTT, CAMERON BRUCE AND MICK MORIARTY ARE GUD
Return of the dangerous DAAS man
A long Illi‘.(} ago in a land that curried, ai'i‘otr‘. fairy). 11' t; l)“, x; A; u'aiu reg' e: Supreitte over the Edinburgh Fringe. lhe Australia" '.' usual tit/Ari"? a" .rufxppritrii; blend of anarchy. tarri‘on, and iii‘..'.'as"ir-,-ri alf‘i'wflf'“) ar' entrant/{Ain't ', f, i': ft i,- ate 808 and early 90$. Ever reluctant To go nerve. the, 7: take f'ie airfie'ice or. .'.i‘.‘: N eri‘ ",i post-show fun. I renien‘ber ,ioining then“ in a round of Christian songs the .'.','i>ei toHets in the then Fringe Club. unihile Paul McDern‘ott C"?t'.'.'}‘;’l on tor; of the mini/[es
Then there was the sing-along around a can‘p tre ben no the Pleasan’e Pa . McDermott walked thrOugh the flaii‘es .vhaie the audience SD’DUTEVTGfJLiS, earned their Credit cards. Ah yes. Paui McDern‘ott ipictured centre, He was the rii‘r, 8“ one. the man wrth a voice frOm God and a sense of f‘itlfT‘CUV frOfT the Dem. Ann after garmrg fari‘e as the Australian Angus Deayton in 6000 i‘Je-xxs Week. the Ozzie entruiaient of Have / Got News FOr YOU. he's returned to the ille arena with a trc caiied GUD.
Still up to his old tricks. he's planning (YONG surfing COWI‘GIIT (ms at each perfOrmance: the unrinning cowedian will be the first to get across; the audience and peak to the stage. ‘We call it the race.‘ he says. ‘l'm surprised none of us has been killed yet. We've Only been able to do it a few times because it's fuck-n scan; I'rr‘ saying it now so we'll be committed. They will do the race!‘
So what brings hirr back”? 'Edinburgh's like COmedy as a oiooosponf he giggles 'I think it's the war-like Scottish oeo le who have a pit of a Y‘a’JEC) of their cit,’ being invaded. so they come from far and .vide to hurl abuse- at the predominantly English med schcoi students and their snoooy parody pieces, it's a great renting of the spleen; - . ~’ . one great howl of anguish' (Mark Fisher;
\ v ' T x '. ’ ’ I Gi/ded Balloon Te'xiot. 225 275 7. i—25 Aug iror ii. 73/. 8pm E‘s—mo era—£9,
18 me LIST Fisnv