Net prophet
DAVE GORMAN hates the internet but it’s helped him to create another wonderfully inventive comedy show. And it’s saved him the bother of writing his novel. Vy/orrls: Brian Donaldson
on can just picture l)aye (iorman sitting at his desk. doing eyerything be possibly can to do anything other than the project at hand. With his new show. Harv (in/7mm 's (inog/mr/iui'k xltll't'llllll't’. he was un- busy getting down chapters ol his debut novel when a rather odd email popped into his inbox from a stranger l)own l'nder. And Considering that (iornian receiyes around “)0 messages on a daily basis from people he's neyer met before. to remark that this was one was ‘odd' has to he really saying something. "l‘he content said “(i'day Dayo. did you know that you are
DOI
a googlewhack?" Which sounded like some weird
Australian insult had arrived. And so l sent an email back. saying “what the hell is a googlewhack?" As you would. What he actually meant was that he l'ound a googlewhack on my website. so I was more a custodian of a gtmglew'liack.'
At this point. a definition ol a googlewhack may come in handy. Simply put. when you key in two words to google and they come back with just one site. that‘s a googlewhack. And there you'd think the fun would end. especially when you‘re dealing with someone who reckons the worst thing about the internet is ‘that it exists'. But when you have l)aye (iorman's endlessly enquiring mind and. probably ol‘ more relevance. a burning desire not to settle down to the task ol~ justifying the cosy advance sitting in your bank account from your publisher. that is merely the beginning.
‘llaying been told what a googlewhack was. I had to lind one for myself and then I really would crack on with the book.’ he recalls. his
22 THE LIST FESTIVAL GUIDE 3‘. Joe" Aug it‘sffi,
‘ONLY WHEN I LOOK BACK
REALISE QUITE HOW EXTREME THINGS HAVE GOT'
‘One review called me a footloose eccentric'
‘Qfa’V-l-
tone acknowledging that he would do no such thing. ‘So I sent an email to this guy to let him know that he was a googlewhack. and we got into a bit iii" a correspiindence. liyentually. this bloke was sitting at my computer l‘inding himsell' a googlew hack. \Vhich belonged to someone I knew. The odds ol’ that are just impossible. It was as it I'd seen a ghost.‘ And from there. (iorman scl oil on a mission to chase these gmiglewhack custodians. a yenture which included haying corn snakes wrapped around his body in l..'\ and playing table tennis with a nine-year-old boy in Boston.
So. other than being one the l‘ew truly inyentiye comics who take to a stage in this country today (as shows such as .‘ll't' you I)(ll‘(' (for/nun.” and Bt'llt’l' lliir/i/ have clearly pt'oy‘cdl. is this man perhaps a little unhinged'.’ ‘()ne reyiew called me a l‘ootloose eccentric and. really. I am unable to argue. When you consider the content of the show. there's no point in me going “no. I'm not". Actually. my close friends would say that l was autistic. I wouldn‘t comment. When I'm in the middle ol something like this. it l‘eels like I‘m doing the most ordinary thing in the world. Only when I stop and look back at it. do I realise quite how extreme things have got.’
The extremes. 'I'hese are the places Dave (iorman is unal‘raid to go. while the opposition plunder their hilarious drawer ol' gags about Big BI'UI/IUI' and Bin Laden. You should choose Dave's aw'l‘ully big adventure.
George Square Theatre, 662 8740, 1-24 Aug (not 11 & 12), 7.45pm, £12.50—£14.50.
JO BRAND
She’s had her cake and ate it, crooned for her BBC supper and been told what not to wear. Can the diva of deadpan survive another grilling? lntemew. Anna Shipman
If you ruled the country for a day, what would you do?
Make women's pay egual ‘.‘.’lill men's. knock down all the council estates and build decent houses, and get rid of the Royal Family Ooh. this is good fun. Far more stringent laws about teenage boys being ,iolili,’ and terrorismg people in town centres. I'd have public executions of teenage boys ~— l'd give them a i(:.‘.’ .‘rarnings. of course — then televised executions before EastEirders l‘d pour money into the NHS. and I'd ii‘iake sweets free one day a week to chem people up.
What’s the first thing you would change about yourself?
I'd make myself six stone so ' could eat my way up to about nine.
What’s the most blatant lie you’ve ever told?
I once told a doorman in Tun‘pridge \‘y’ells. of all places. that l .vas Li/a Minelli's sister. in order to get a pig group of people ll‘.. It '.'.“()r'k(?(l.
You’re a mother now. Is there anything funny about childbirth?
Not really. except that someone did pop their head round the door when I was in labour and ask for my autograph. which i thought was funny in a Can; Or? kind of ‘.'.'ay. I gave it to them as well He nice is that? What’s the most stupid thing you’ve ever done while pissed?
Driven. Oyer some ornan‘iental gardens. round and round. laughing my head off. running o .Ier flo.'/erbeds and hitting statues. What was really stupid. apart from the fact that l was driVing while drunk. .vas that there was a policeman Sitting in his police van watching me and i didn’t realise.
I Assembly Rooms. 226 2428. 7—25 Aug mot 11. i' 7. 78/. 70. 300/77, 5372—573 437 7-572).