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LAURA HIRD
The Born Free author tackles our festival Q&A
First book you read?
Mum taught me to read by reading me poems from LP Hartley's Five Minutes Ht‘left'li/(lei. ‘No Telephones in lleaven' tised to make me partiCuIarIy hysterical. What's the best book ever?
I ‘.‘.’|” always have enormous affection for Alasdair Gray's 7982 Janine, I remember when I finished leaning it for the first tzme. but read t again over and over as I couldn't imagine ever finding 2; inletliirig as good again.
And the worst?
I have endless respect to anyone that I, manages to write a book. and 2i manages to get it published. as there are thousands of people Out there trying to ()0 both HZWIHQ said that. a frightening percentage of what actually gets published is absolute twaddle.
Name the most over-hyped novel?
I tend to avoid hype and go by word of mouth Hype makes me run a mile.
Which dead writer would you like to have been?
PatriCia Highsinith She was. by all accotints. a grumpy. depressive aIc0hOIic. but there the Similarities end It wowd be nice to be tnose things and also be gIOriOuSIy prOIitic and talented, like She was.
Should stand-up comics be allowed to write novels?
Only if Ben EItOn is sacrificed to save their sins.
What’s the most outrageous idea you've had for a book?
To edit an anthology of work by OFQVIOUSly unpublished writers that Will be so SucceSSIUI that publishers WI“ be ClamOuring to do similar books. Ah. dreams.
ls fact stranger than fiction?
Yes. but :t is easier to but a COOK down.
Which relatively unknown writer will we be talking about in five years’ time?
There are dozens 0n the Showcase sectiOn of my website. wwwlauranirdcom Off the top of my head: Alan Ram. Delia Gallagher. Trey Taylor. Iain Bahlai. Sadly, but entireiy their our? fauit. bookshops are no longer the place to look for great new writing.
Do you have a favourite line from a book?
‘I t00k her in my arms and mashed my mouth up against hers . “Bite me! Bite me!" I on her. I Sunk my teeth into her lips so deep I could feel the blooo spurt into my IhOuth. It was running down her neCk when I carried her upstairs' The Postman AIMOIS Rings Tiiice. James M Cain.
What's your favourite joke about writers?
Question: ‘Hat e you read Snakespeare?‘ Answer: No. \‘Jho v. rote i!’?'
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Geoff Dyer 8.30pm. it? 45.6,. itie boy Dyet isn't too keen on. boing pigeonhoieri. So. he's written about Subjects as varied as ia/z. DH Lawrence. yoga and \"‘.’Cr'i(l War I.
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Robert Crawford & WN Herbert 70.30am. 7 $5,. Predigioiis IDCCIF,’ :33 year early morning wake-up call. Steven Mithen & Gabrielle Walker
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Thomas Keneally 7 7.30am. He WI“ forever be known as tne bloke who wrote that COOK wnicn Speicerg made into Schindler's List. But Keneally has pIenty more strings to his bow. haying knocked oft booxs about the American Civil War. a terrorist niacmg, Ace Linccln and a paraChuting Surgeon
Claire MacDonald Noon. E7 025. FreSh local procuc is en tne menu this lunchtime.
Mikael Niemi 72.30pm. £7 £5» said of Su-iediSh scribe Niem 's Homoyesdue Popular Music that t was sweet and strange and r," Margaret Elphinstone & Diana Norman 2.30m: ~27 (55'. Hsto'ca fictiOn at its oandiest. E pt‘nstose's temes :nCIude The Sea oac 8??) H; Bras/I w'n Ie Norman has writter. A Catch of Ceriseouertce and Sew a”; the Virgin.
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to entertain t'e S'i..a'e is the big screen afio c'. .v'”; coii‘p es the New Biographical Dorie/tar; of FI/li‘, 8W) “as some pretty contrcers a 0px" cps about serne cf the 'greats' of cinema. Feiin s "na‘baked' and V-scoct S 'truua '— that kind 0‘ thing M/ ‘aucarzte S Hugh Grant. .vnc Daze nas down as a" copier‘t Sneeze took ng tor a .iacan‘. nose'. Patrick Gale, Magnus Mills & Ardashir Vakil 8.30pm £8 (‘6, A trio 3‘ d asyccratc Eng: Sh authors ceming "or" .er, a “erect c: nts on the Ifei’ar,’ :ca‘cass O‘ M iS' The Scneme ‘0' PM E’V‘iCiCJV‘GFT. or or t c State”; that the ‘crn‘e' ms or .er's prose as
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' A THE LIST FESTIVAL GUIDE 17