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C O L U M N MARK DOLAN The comedian, writer and TV presenter is here to make us feel good

T his may surprise you, but us comedians aren’t of much prac tical use to the world. There’s very little we can

do about NHS waiting lists, youth unemployment or an increasingly hostile North Korea. We can’t stop General Assad being a mass murderer and we’re powerless to make BBC1’s The Voice any more entertaining.

So I’ve been having a think about what it is

I can do. And the answer is to write a show that makes you see the world in a better light. The kind of light they have in the changing rooms at Zara that make you look great and then you buy their clothes. Entitled You’re Awesome!, the show is an attempt to take all of your half-empty glasses, and miraculously make them half full. Look, I’m not Jesus, but I’m getting there. I think we’ve learned from the last few years of economic and social doom and gloom, that it’s easy to talk

yourself into a depression. I’m going to talk you out of it. So this humble hour of observational comedy, which includes a few carefully selected knob gags I’m no killjoy will leave you with a song in your heart, a twinkle in your eye and a bloody annoying smile. The show features an extensive list of those wonderful little things in life that make you inwardly happy dogs leaning out of car windows, i nding money in old trousers, discovering that your difi cult girlfriend isn’t pregnant.

I love Edinburgh with a passion and spent four blissful years here as a student in the mid 90s, so the Fringe is always a homecoming of sorts. Fringe audiences have committed to giving you an hour of their time, they are highly comedy literate and mostly they are as keen as you are for the show to be great. The l ipside is that yours may be the eighteenth show they’ve seen that day, you’re being compared to someone off of Mock The Week and impatient bladders will come into play for any show after about i ve in the afternoon. But I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s the greatest cultural event on the planet.

Mark Dolan You’re Awesome!, Gilded Balloon, 622 6552, until 25

Aug (not 12), 7.45pm, £10 (£8.50).

Previews 31 Jul–2 Aug, £5.

MY EDINBURGH WITTANK’S MARK COOPER-JONES

First time I came to

Edinburgh

was

In 2006. WitTank was, at that point, a six- person strong

Edinburgh’s USP is  My favourite place to eat/drink

It’s geography. Now, I’m a trained geography teacher so that’s obviously a biased opinion, but I genuinely believe the topography, geology, and scenic surroundings really place the festival in a dramatic and unique place.

is Oink! Hog roasts, at lunchtime only, near the Royal Mile. Hot pig, crackling and apple sauce stuffed into a lovely white bun. It is genuinely perfect. Unless you’re vegetarian.

conglomerate of eager comedy freshers who all attended Durham University. The show was dei nitely a mixed bag, but we had a lot of fun.

I come back because  . . . This is WitTank’s eighth year in a row now, and I honestly think the i rst year we don’t come up we’ll be at a complete loss about what to do in August. I’ve been thoroughly institutionalised, but in a good way.

Most surreal festival experience I’m likely to be found

In 2011 we climbed Arthur’s Seat at 4am in the rain. It was pretty hard work and we weren’t wearing appropriate footwear, but we made it. It was worth it to watch the sun rise over Edinburgh. In a show. I think it’s important to remember that just because you’re part of the festival, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy all it has to offer as a punter too. It’s all part of the fun.

Best/worst thing ever written I’m least likely to be found?

about you? On a tram.

I don’t remember who it was, but someone said of us ‘the furious young Simon Callow, Benedict Cumberbatch’s younger sister, and the big dopey one’. WitTank presents ‘The School’, Pleasance Courtyard, 556 6550, until 25 Aug, £10–£12 (£9–£10).

OVERHEARD IN EDINBURGH

‘Oh my God honey, I read you can totally see shows in like a big pig here.’

‘It’s a cow, sweetie: a big purple cow.’

American tourists, on the

bus, discovering the wonders of the Underbelly

1–8 Aug 2013 THE LIST FESTIVAL 11