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LIES, LIONS AND LAUGHTER
C O L U M N ALEX HORNE The crazy comedian talks eggs and porky pies
I live in a small village on the Norfolk coast, far from the Edinburgh festival. When I told my neighbour, Eggs (real name, he insists), I was going up for the Fringe he shook his head. ‘I don’t understand young people,’ he cried. I’ll be 40 next year.
People who’ve never been to the festival understandably have no idea what the festival is. Most presume you buy one ticket, like for Glastonbury, and can then stagger round, watching a load of comedians perform in a load of tents. The reality is far better. And far worse.
‘The thing is, Eggs,’ I said the following morning, ‘it’s fun. There are about a thousand comedy shows to choose from, everyone’s there: it’s mad.’ He shook his head again. ‘Listen to yourself,’ he whispered. I tried, but I had i nished talking. Fortunately, I’d been recording the conversation as a voice memo so I could write a column about it for The
List and over lunch that day (eggs, coincidentally), I did indeed listen to myself. ‘A thousand comedy shows . . . everyone’s . . . mad.’
Maybe Eggs was right. What was I thinking? Why would I leave my idyllic home in a converted lighthouse, my wife and seven children, to go to Scotland and compete with a thousand other comedians for an audience? Well, the truth is I’m mainly going to Edinburgh to escape from Eggs for a month. He’s a nightmare. And his lighthouse is bigger than ours and he never turns his light off.
My show this year is called Lies. In it I admit that I am, and always have been, a liar. So, in that spirit of honesty I should say that nothing in this article (except for one of the eggs) is true. Although that is also a lie. So it’s actually all true (except for one of the eggs).
Alex Horne: Lies, Pleasance, until 25 Aug, 8.30pm, £8.50–£10.50.
MY EDINBURGH BOY WITH TAPE ON HIS FACE
First time I came to
Edinburgh was In 2007 when I came to the Fringe to be a street performer.
I come back because I met my wife in Edinburgh and we enjoy having our anniversary during one of the biggest festivals in the world. In regards to shows, I set myself silly goals for the following year and then have to see if I can tick them off a list.
Edinburgh’s unique selling point is
During the festival it’s the only place in the world where you can see burlesque before breakfast, comedy for lunch and
a children’s show at night. It can feel like a topsy-turvy town in which clowns have taken run of a beautiful city for the month.
Most surreal festival experience In 2007 I saw a show by Dr Cocacolamcdonalds in a hot sweaty room with about 25 other people. He wore only underpants, clown make- up and sang songs on an old Casio keyboard. One of the best shows I have ever seen.
My favourite place to eat is Ruan Thai just off Cockburn Street. There’s nothing better, halfway through the festival, than going to get a tom yum so hot that it clears your head and body in preparation for the next two weeks.
I am likely to be found
Hanging out my l at window watching street shows. I am least likely to be found At the top of Arthur’s Seat. Every year I tell myself I will go up there but never do.
Best/worst thing ever written about you?
‘The Boy With Tape On His Face would only be funnier if he set himself on i re’ – written about a YouTube video that was posted. The joys of the internet.
■ The Boy With Tape On His Face: More Tape, Pleasance Courtyard, 556 6550, until 24 Aug (not 12 & 13), 9.40pm, £12–£13.50 (£9.50–£11).
OVERHEARD IN EDINBURGH
‘He could bring the lion right out in me’
Slightly inebriated audience member enjoying a snapshot of Luke Wright’s Essex Lion Show at The List party.
8–15 Aug 2013 THE LIST FESTIVAL 11