2 "__—'__fi‘[ ' __ _‘1 previews to many otthe LIST KIDS l lntemattonal. Fringe. Film g and Jazz Festival events. as people. the‘placesz a x 1 W8” asthe usual listings te escopc or: the I‘CSIIHII w l gndthe Festival City C‘ Y' 32 ——4 urvival Guide. >~ QWW_W ' . 4 3 Edinburgh and Glasgow i PUbIIShed eve.” Tecond (finan Thursday. The List IS 3, . FESTIVAL 3 The only comprehensive :zalsgglgggg‘gll 900d \ lortni htl uide to what's THEATRE 3 58 on in gentyriil Scotland The b°°k5h°ps' 9"“ 5°” (0' g mus packed Wm, ' £15peryear/28 perG Pick of the Fringe 4 g, I __ . up-to-me-minute months. and delivered to Rttssian Drama 9 . , . C. l g ° ( "‘WFi‘I' h?”- J““ and information on everything V0“ ‘1."800- , (.uharm Pick 1” Jarman. omp etc Rock (including complete maps happening. whethe, Published by The List le, Shows Opening 8mm p Festival Daily Diary start-S Edinburgh Festival Rock "tsfilms "mam! sport or 14 High Sreet. Edinburgh. International Festival 13 on my 3 )' (“"dc) “(13' events. 0315§81191- Shakespeare-s" 15 Am. Bum- mm,‘ dam. 41 53 This special Festival edition "‘3 “3‘ F?‘"‘"." “"9"” Around the Fringe 18 ,. iv , I. run in coniunctton withThe chm“ g es u coverage otthe | d 23 world's biggest Arts " 998mm“ ""89"" 29 A tribute toJoseph Beuys Festival, Wilh interviews. Willi thanks l0 all FESTIVAL FESTIVAL M by Richard Demarc0 features. tree offers and contributors. Alan Tayloron highlights .' H. N M S . . - .. I (Lexical-l URVIVAL GUIDE 0fth Bonk [ HUN] w 3 Folk 30 . . i Williamson. Listen! far. I Jun 3] an ttell i:c.\ll\';il front W i Alastair Mubhmt‘John 24 i (‘Umplctc snide ma" "9"“ "ml" ”” Wm”- PUDIISW Robin “odes ! Williamson. Sport Kenny Glasgow and Edinburgh I‘h“ :‘V‘l'r‘?! Film“. 1“ Editors NigeAIBillen‘. Sarah Mathicwm Theatre Sarah galleriesincluding 'f“ "“ I "‘ _'” “"8”: llcmming. SSOCIa ‘3 . Ilemiuing.Cameta Festival‘3‘“leme k‘llllliL' liHl‘.I\’lllL’.lllllile‘ . EdiiorklhnHuntct“

We look at the best for kidsoniL inge.

'I'revor Johnston talks to outspoken director Derek


I‘estiv als (including the new be} ond the Iiringe

I Design Simon Iisterson.

Advertising & Circulation

Edinburgh Make-up Services. Cover Illustration by Simon

Hinge). Robin Hodge. Steve McCullough. Sheila Maclcan. Accounts Georgette Renwick. Richard Gray. Typesetting Jo Kennedy and IIewer Text. Production Editor Paul Keir. Production Assistants Andrew Young. Sheila MacLean. Rosemary Goring. Alastair Scott. Andrew BurnetAl‘l Alice Bain. Books Alan Taylor. Classical Music (‘arol Main. Dance Alice Bain. Film Allan Hunter. Trevor Johnston. Folk/Jazz Norman Chalmers. Kenny Mathieson. Kids Sally Kinnes. Nightlife Stuart Raiker. Open Nigel Billen. Rock (Edinburgh) Alastair Mabbott. Rock (Glasgow)John

Gooch. Thanks to: (‘ompagnie de Divas (‘Dionna Giovanni'. Assembly Rooms) for the lobster; Guanacol’l‘eatro Ii] Salvadort‘ln the Kingdom of ('hachamuca'. Theatre ACT) for the chicken. the pineapple and the bow tie; Sandy and Kimilyof American Accent (‘Graceland'. Masonic Lodge) for Elvis Presley. Thanks also to the Raun Raun Theatre of Papua New Guinea (‘The Dance of the SnaiI‘ etc. St Bride‘s Centre). tothe Crane'WiIliams team (Red Rose Theatre) for ‘I’ushkin'. to chgeny Yevtushenko and to all the Russians. CoverDeslgn Nich Billen. Paul Keir.


Glasgow theatre Iisttngs


see PAGE 3' 7/25

ANNiE (vfleFtN

disease’. This was in the days when Aids were something you got from the Salvation Army. It turned out he meant ‘Edinburgh's Disgrace', the nonsense on top of Calton Hill, which isn't quite the same. I am indebted to the Edinburgh District

Council Department of Public Relations and Tourism for all these stories which, in contrast to last week's lot, really are true. I find myself with anew-found respect lorthe counter clerks who have to field all these ludicrous queries. What would you do it someone came up to you and said. in an Arkansas accent, ‘My name's MacDonald. what can you tell me about myself?‘ Butlt happens. What do you do with a letter from a good-looking American girl of about 28 who writes in. photo attached. saying she’s coming to Scotland and can they find hera nice Scotch man to marry. They were quite keen on that one down at Waverley Market until they found the same woman had written to all the other tourist boards in Scotland. But my favourite is the Australian couple who came in looking for accommodation. There were no double rooms to be had in townthat nightwhat with the Festival and all. Buttwo singles were available. ‘Shlrley' the man called across the crowded office to his girlfriend. “can you do without it tonight?‘

box and rang the Tourist Office to find out where he was. ‘What do you see from where you’re standing’ asked the Tourist Officer. ‘Oh. queues of people. a lot ofposters, information counters' he replied. ‘And some chick in a tartan skirt waving at me.‘ ‘That‘s me' replied the Tourist Officer; the man was standing in the Tourist Information Centre at the time.

Sometimes it's just a language problem. The man who enquired about train times on

30 December because he wanted to be sure of being back lor Mahogonnay was making an honest mistake. I'm not so sure aboutthe one who asked for directions to ‘Edinburoh's

Who would believe. for example. the Japanese construction engineer who asked for pictures— photographs. mind. none of your drawings - of Edinburgh Castle under construction? Or the visitor who checked into a well-known West End hotel and asked fora room with a view of Balmoral? Or the one who asked whether the Scott Monument- you remember, the one with the lift—was black because ‘the guy's dead?’ Worse still, my little jest about Edinburgh rate-payers getting half price tickets to all Fringe events; it transpires that Edinburgh District Council had been actively considering this very possibility only to conclude that the problems of identifying rate-payers was insuperable. Come on. lads. you’re mot even trying. Aren't they the ones with the purple-blue buboes on theirskin?

One can understand a certain amount of disorientation among those on those ghastly ‘It it's Friday it must be Belgium' trips. Apparently ‘Can you tell me where I am?’ is the most common question at the Tourist Information Centre. Though that doesn‘t excuse the man who responded, suspiciously. on being told that he was indeed in Edinburgh and not Stirling or Rejkyavik. ‘Are you sure?‘ Orthe man who was so confused that he went into a phone

After disorientating ceud mille festival visitors last issue, Robert Dawson Scott finds he needn‘t have

I'm sorry. i didn't think people were goingto take all that stuff about the house whisky and compulsory condoms seriously. One clearly underestimates the gullibility of the average touristat one's peril. So I'm sorry; sorry thatl didn't invent much more silly things forthem to do. We could have had them all buying us drinks as a 'national costume' with a bitof ettort.

Had I known then the sort of questions real visitors ask on a regular basis I might not have attempted the fiction at all. Yetagain real life turns out to be infinitely more bizarre than anything one would ever dare invent.

The list 31 Aug 3 Sept 1