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SCHEME Interviewed issue 19June 1986 when there was a Channel 4 documentary on the band.

‘We identified a need in Glasgow. We saw all these bands going to Glasgow and asked why?’

‘We‘re just working class guys trying to earn a living. We knew exactly whatwe were doing-writinglor working class people.’


Interviewed Issue 10 February 1986 when Edinburgh City Arts Centre hosted a Thunderbirds Exhibition.

‘Science Fiction is not as much tun as it used to be —a computeris a little black box you carry around in your pocket. It used to a room titled with wheels and Ilashing lights.’


Interviewed Issue 6 December1985 when hisTV play Holy City was being lilmed.

On his DIivierAward winning production at The Mysteries:

‘The Mysteries are about going back to a time when the common people had laith. Now nobody believes in anything not their governments. northeir unions. northeir marriages.‘

‘Now you have to be an acrobat or a bloodytrapeze artist to go to bed with a girl because at terrible books like The Joy oi Sex which looks like some kind oi joggers' manual.’

‘I'm the most boring man in the world because tread Playboy tor the interviews.’ ‘Glasgow and New York are the greatest cities in the world and London comes ninth.’

‘I am not a churchgoerand don't have much laith. butl do believe in the Latin phrase Laborare est Ilorare:

I to work is to pray.’



Interviewed Issue 4 November1985 when appointed Director 01 Events tor Glasgow's 1988 Garden Festival.

‘I don't want anyone phoning and asking me why theirapple trees aren't blooming or anything like that. I don’t know anything about gardening.’


Interviewed Issue 5 November1985 on becoming editor oi The Scotsman.

‘You can never make sudden changes, it hasto be an evolutionary thing.’ ‘We are a modern newspaperseeklng to attack modem markets.‘


Interviewed issue 4 November1985 when the iilm Delence otthe Realm was released in Scotland. On being oilered roll-mop herring:

‘l was extremely well brought up you know.‘


Interviewed Issue 35 February 1987 on the launch at the TV series Tutti Frutti.

‘l wasn't always tat, hull was always lunny.’

On TV programmes expecting him to just ‘be lunny' to order.

‘I mean you wouldn't sayto Michael Hordern “Right, Michael. come in the door,

On his desire

then do something dramatic I

and go out." '

On his respect lor Doctor Johnson, who he was also portraying In a play atthe time:

‘Despite being an arch Tory he had about six people in his house who he used to lead and look after because they had nowhere else to go. He also had a black servant who he put into private eduaction. lie was deeply anti-racist.‘


to play King

Lean ‘I don't know whether l'm capable 01 it, all thattive leet prose stuti, but it's the ultimate challenge. But then I think standing up in lront oltourthousand people an making them laugh is a bit at a challenge myselt.‘

On a ‘lamous bastard‘who steroetyped Glasgow public by saying ‘I was in Glasgow recently and nobody stabbed me.':

“i don't know whatwas wrong with them. I'd have stabbedthem.’


Interviewed Issue 45 July 1987 on the occasion at his tourto Scotland.

‘i believe I won't go until I’ve accomplished what I'm meantto accomplish on this eanhf


interviewed Issue 39 April 1987 when the new Star Trektilm was released. Dn William Shatner:

‘Boy, hasthat man an ego. Dn IIarrods' underpants: ‘l’m going to make sure I have these sent outtothe States.‘


Interviewed Issue 18 June 1986 whentouringto Edinburgh and Glasgow.

0n newspapers:

“i get the Daily Mirrorlor racing and the Daily Express torwrite-ups. l have never had a write up in the Daily Express. Two most

useless things In the world: a write up in the Daily Express and the Pope's boilocks.‘

Dn Ian Botham:

‘A much maligned man.’ Dn God:

‘I do believe in God.’

On his hero:

‘Thatwoman who looks alter all‘em starving iucking kids in India. .. whatsemame? . . . Mother Theresa.’


A selection 01 people interviewed in Dounreay as the enquiry into the nuclear reprocessing plant there proceeded.

The Butcher:

‘We need It. Dounreay has brought prosperity to this town.‘

An engineer atthe plant:

‘It i thought it was unsale I wouldn't bring my children here.’


Interviewed Issue 37 March 1987 prior to the opening oi Whoops Apocalypse in Glasgow.

“Hollywood's pertectly all right. liust didn't like It. At nine o'clock in the evening the town shuts down. Everyone's up at six iogging or having meetings.’


Interviewed Issue 22 August 1986 when the Festival was aboutto start.

Dn Edinburgh:

‘Princes Street is an

abomination. I’d take itout

and dump it.‘