opened the Herald and saw the $08 for Education snapped in the Fiddlers’ drinking a pint of 80 bob. Is nowhere sacred? I remember Donald McLeod writing at the time when Lorimer’s announced that their Heavy had reached the end of the barrel. Certain pubs in this part of the world, said the editor of the clanzine, would be uninhabitable for generations. It was a case of a total malt-down. Whole families would need to be uprooted.
So what hope is there for the Fiddlers"? Not much I suppose. It will certainly have to be decontaminated. I wonder if Norman the poet was having a half and halfat the same time as HMG. now that he’s back from his summer retreat in the Frozen North. He phoned the other day. ‘lt’s Norman’, he said, spinning out his Christian name to the length of a Welsh railway station. N-n-o-o-r-r-m-m-a-a-n-n. That’s what comes of talking to sheep for too long, I shouldn’t wonder. ‘Remember me?’ he asked.
Actually we had, sitting in the Wine Bar one Monday evening waiting for the rain to start so we could stay put. Someone recalled drinking with him and sundry cronies, one of whom was in the habit of nodding off just when the bell was about to toll for him. This discourtesy was pointed out to the bard who, being surrounded by Islay
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I had a nasty turn on Saturday when l
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Amidst bards and broomsticks and glassy Cherry, Alan
Taylor considers the
Mist for most of the session, was not aware of what had been going on. Was this a well-practised ruse of Wee Willie Winkie’s or was he just in training to break Rip Van Winkle’s record?, Norman wasasked. The poet eyed the snoring sop like a stoat transfixing a rabbit. ‘Him?,’ said Norman, ‘he‘s the ubiquitous kip.‘
I could do with a kip myself right now despite having acquired an extra hour thanks to Greenwich Meantime. Mean time, indeed. What can you do with an hour? I will probably spend it hollowing out a pumpkin for Michael, the son and heir, who has a Hallowe’en party tomorrow. The seamstress, who has taken to calling me ‘coach’, has taken our bedroom curtains down,
future of Fiddlers.
not because she‘s gone kinky but because the lads wearing fancy dress and going as Sherlock Holmes. The curtains, I‘m told. will make a perfect cape. I went along with this because the alternative was buying a couple of yards of cloth at more than the price ofa funeral. He has a magnifying glass from Yugoslavia. a cardboard pipe ar. ‘ '3 deerstalker which was won in a Punch competition by the aforementioned seamstress. As long as he remembers to say ‘Elementary my dear Watson’. he should do dandy. As I’m sure you‘re all aware Holmes never said that but everyone thinks he did which is what matters.
What worries me is how the lad will look surrounded by vampires and
W w. 1' ‘_~;N.._-..s, ‘-_‘ '3." _ witches though once they‘ve dooked and are covered in treacle I suppose they’ll all be indistinguishable. He has just asked what I went to fancy dress parties as. l have no recollection ofgoing as anything other than myself. ‘l‘ll bet you went as a bumble-bee‘. he said. Strange the way the six year-old mind works. isn‘t it.
And now I must drop a line to the secretary ofa society for international harmony who has asked if I would be interested in a trip to the USSR. the Baltic states to be precise. Why me? I can only assume it‘s because of my frequent references to Chernobyl. Believe me, ifl had any alternative his name would never be mentioned on this page again but like plutonium he is damn difficult to ignore. There are. l gather. not a few of you out there who wonder who he is and what is going on (some of you. apparently. think he may be a she which is worrying). I don‘t blame you. All l can say is that he was not christened Chernobyl or even Cherry. which may be why there’s some confusion over gender. His real identity must be with-held to protect his family. In his favour it must be said that he converses quite naturally with Michael, pays attention to personal hygiene and he is one of the few people living who has forgotten the answer to the Schleswig-Holstein question.
AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE FUNCTIONS MON, TUES, WED (up to 1100 persons)
Tue: Hi-energy Eurobeat Night.
Non-stop dance music. 1 1 pin-4am Thurs: 10pm—3am. Half price before 11pm Fri: 10pm—4am. Half price before 1 1 pm Sat: 10pm—4am. Half price before 11pm Sun: 10pm—3am. Half price before 11pm
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THE LEGENDARY FEE-HORROR BALL
Friday 30 October
FRIGl-IT NIGHT ’87
THE HALLOWEEN PARTY Saturday 31 October
TIckets on sale now at the AMPHITHEATRE £3; or buy two for 25. Full Horror Fancy Dress entitles you to
TOMMY SAMPSON BIG BAND DANCE NIGHT
Monday 16 November WRYGGES FASHION SHOW Thursday 19 November
MONTAGE CHRISTMAS FASHION SHOW
Tuesday 1 December 2 Dec — 16 Jan 1988
CHRISTMAS DINNER and DANCE SPECTACULAR with the Sheraton and
The List 30 Oct — 12 Nov 47