THE LIST

C O n - m S I Patronising is such an ugly word isn’t it? But there it is. “Course it’s not what it was‘, this latter-day Agate The List has got together with Valvona & Crolla to continued. ‘not since the old Close provide an antidote to your post-Christmas blues. That’s burnt d0W"-' The Close» for those right - we’re going to give you even more food and drink tgflgggmgs aggifl‘a‘i‘fifigfim‘t than you’ve lined yourself up for already. The the Citizens‘ L no ’Citz‘ let us adeop(i celebration goes on! Robert Dawson Scott has this delightful new diminutive , which was consumed by fire in the First prize: a special Valvona & Crolla Christmas d Close encoPmer m a mid Sgt/entice ‘YOU frequented the hamper full of Italian delicacies, worth £40. Glasgow taXl- Sfifa'g {£5221'nggfii'fiigfit second’lgfiz‘e; snf battles or top qualgfipylan wme° News that the Mahabarata, Peter be forthcoming. ‘Well it’s a funny Ir prize: a panettone - a e telous Brook’s realisation for the stage of thing‘, this intellectual Jehu replied Italian soft sponge fruit cake. the Indian epic of that name, may ‘but I never would have done if it . very well be coming to Glasgow next hadn’t been for Lindsay Kemp. Yeh. . . year will be a source of rejoicing for I had that Lindsay Kemp in the back 1?" you,have u.) do ls,match the pasta dISheS on the, left many and a source of concern for a of the cab once‘. It was with difficulty w'"‘ the mgred'ents I'Sted 0“ the "gm' Then send m the few, not least the sub-editors on the that I contrived to choke back my entry form by Mon 11 January, 1988 when the draw WIII newspapers who are required amazement. ls not Mr Kemp after all take mace. Look out for the winners in our second issue of regularly to reproduce it with a the darling of the avant garde, little the New Year, to be published on Thursday 21 Jan. degree oforthographic rectitude. It known outwith the narrow caterie also comes Just in time to save who espouse hlS Singular style? But I Glasgow‘s cultural diadem from do attest to you by all that I hold dear PASTA DISHES INGREDIENTS being tarnished by unseemly rows and precious like my Aunt . A P over the contractual arrangements Aemilia’s locket which was given to Tagllatelle Carbonara . lastal,.clarrils, tomatoes, for Mayfest directors or new concert her by a man who had nearly fought gar Ic, 0 we 0| . halls. at Waterloo— that that is indeed It will certainly be welcome news to what he said. Spaghetti alle V'ongole B. Pasta, minced meat, the taxi driver I had the pleasure of By then my new found fellow tomatoes, ricotta, basil, meeting some few nights past. When traveller in the world’s highways and . . . I say meet, I am merely referring to byways - we were in St Vincent garhc’ Olive Oll’ the commercial transaction we Street at the time was in full flood. Canelloni al Rag“ C. Pasta, pancetta’ cream, concluded whereby the sum of £1 .70 ‘Lovely guy, he was. He asked me if I armesan cheese black was transferred from my pocket to had been to see his show and I said p his in consideration ofwhich he no I hadn‘t and he said well here you Pepper- transferred me from the Citizens‘ are here‘s four tickets. Or was it six? ....................................................................... Theatretotherailwaystationat Nofourthat’sright.Didyouknow Queen Street. Such meetings are not he used to be in the Navy? I don’t ' " ° ° normall the enesis ofa warm and think he was uite theirt e’. I was T agliatelle Carbonara IS made from ingredients [:1 l t. fy. dgh. d .1 th b u . t q. t h yp th t . . . . as ing men 5 ip espi e e a on om CTJCC t e pensae a ipaghflt" elle vongele ls made frem ingredients El concern of many drivers to acquaint that was rather a shame since a anne 0'“ 3' Rag“ '5 made from mgred'ents B one with one’s predecessors as cockpit full of sailors might very well (insert the correct letter in each of the boxes above) occupants of the rear seating be Mr Kemp’s type but our compartment. conversation was abruptly _ Nevertheless in this case I must terminated by the terminus which we I confess that he immediately put me had now attained. You perhaps are . at my ease by explaining that he and thinking that it is naive of me to the Citz, as he quaintly put it, were evince surprise at the extent to which l old friends. ‘The great thing’ he the city‘s cultural renaissance has enthused ‘is that whatever you see, permeated the body politic of the you’re never bored.‘ Perhaps I city. Unfortunately, the driver '5 should not have been surprised to hailed from Liverpool. Send to: Valvona 8: Crolla ‘1 . find such a connoisseur of the drama A taxi driver writes; ‘I had that Competition, The List, 14 High - O a 5 . in such a workaday occupation in this pretentious git RDS in the back of Street, Edinburgh Ehl ITE. . . i " up " ' , 5 great cultural capital of Europe. the cab once’. Dear Editor of the nuclear accident at Chernobyl As a regular visitor to both as a nickname? If he does Ican only Edinburgh and Glasgow, I find your hope that he accepts the mp to the listings very useful in planning my USSR alld '5 exp9se,d to unusually trips. However I do not find Alan high levels of radiation before he can

Taylor’s East Lifeuseful for anything write any more for the US"

Of the piece which prompted me to write (though any would do) in Issue 53, my feelings are best summed-up by this comment by Paul Theroux on the almost as obnoxious Clive James: ‘This is not satire but name drOpping. . . He writes like a man who wishes he was invited to more parties.’

at all.

Who is he? Or, more to the point, who does he think he is, and why should he expect anyone to be interested in his turgid, inconsequential, sub-sub Jeffrey Bernard drivel?

The occasional book review is just about tolerable, but his fortnightly in- jokes about unstable friends, his Yours Sincerely

sexist references to ‘she who heats 13- MCKnight

the oven-ready chips’ (so we don’t 3 Rambler Lane

assume he’s gay?) and his obscure, Slough

often unintelligible anecdotes, leave 51-3 7RR Berks.

everything to be desired. I Alan Taylor replies: As the late Does he really think that it is Laureate once wrote: ‘Come

humorous to trivialise the nightmare friendly bombs and fall on Slough.’

4The List 11 Dec 1987-7 Jan 1988