"‘ ‘;—~' "H - r'" *- ---r l- v r.- w t. \‘r-‘s. . ~ - ~. ;. wt“ urn " r51;, -. €3’.L'?"-ffze;9§% t: -t’ . .1 ' 3 .. 32...??? .l ’;" _‘v'.'§ 712.; I WI \h'lf\.rv'.: 1'... i‘ 2 _3.’ :I. .t I ~ {xi-i)‘ ._>;'-:f',:""u_"t.' '1. I . 4 3 9 .1; ‘. firi": 1. a...” 3 l. '9’»??? 1»?- 33651-3769. I” . . t? s ~:‘~.-"’*.'9§"..: '“ r. ‘E:.‘.-'~.« .~-»--.5-1"'24l‘t\1i'2}i252?“iiflfiifs‘ttéa‘tfgfirw . :. - - f"... 733329;- . - _ ; ' V‘st'vfixki‘l ' :‘s'w ...s..;..-.:-'.:.:~.-¢,m:. .-~' t:- ACCOMMODATION Thursdavgmupror BUY AND SELL available. Phone Alex on a

I Writer (21) non-smoker. atnbitions of being William Shakespeare. seeks own room in quiet shared flat. Phone Douglas on (131 225 6465ext5UU.

I Prolessional guy (26) gay. moving to ( ilasgow in March. needs somewhere to stay. Phone Mike on (19(18 6(14387 (eve and weekend). I Huge airy bright studio space for artist(s) in Leith. Available April. Contact Svmon Maelntyre on (131 554 s92}.

I Wanted Bedsit rootn in shared flat Iidinburgh area for male stttdent (24). Phone Robert on (131 552 1899.

I Glasgow University students seek West End flat frotn summer. four or five single rootns. Phone Miles 6111141 332 2926.

I Small single room to let. Responsible working student. Stockbridge area. ljntry 1 April. £63 per month: {60 deposit. Call 'l‘oni or Kimberley on (131 332 71 14 (eves).


I Arts-orientated work for intelligent self-motivating mature post-graduate educated woman with manage ment. admin experience. Anything


I Would-be actor seeks any work in theatre. Will consider anything. Also like to join drama companies. Reply to Ian llughes. 1c llowcraigs Court. (‘lydebank. (181 1115.

I Any interesting jobs required by very intelligent girl (2(1) with myriad experience and interests. Everything considered. Please phone (131 226 2318. I Sales Representative recently made redundant. seeks similar post in capital goods or intangibles. Minimum basic 9k with ()Tli 18-25k and usual package. No insurance or windows. lligh liyer. '1‘el:(1316683518.

I Recently resigned civil servant will consider any work before beginning degree in October. Fit. literate. numerate. clean driving licence. Phone Alan (111 (131 667 24118.

I Female (20) good appearance. seeks work in theatre. ie stagehand

etc arts world. Phone .lane 0111141 9565911.


I Excellent cellist or tiddler wanted for folk duo. Must have own transport. Work


essential. Into 1 louseroek. Jungle and Yello. Edinburgh (ilasgow area. '1‘el:(1312296(14l.

I Unllappable experienced PA/secretary reqttired to co-ordinate essential demands tnade on overstretched director. Conscientious. organised. capable. CV to 1.. Parker. Real Foods. 14 Ashley Place. Edinburgh 13116 5PX.


I Professional and business gentlemen (aged 30—51)).

(ilasgow-based club to pursue cultural and social activities. please phone: (13552-3 1537. evenings only. I Wanted: modern comics unusual acts for new clttb in Edinburgh. Are you funny‘.’ Auditions now being held. Contact (131 229 3175 or(13l 315 2736 (eye).

I CVS quickly and accurately typed tip. {20 for 15; £25 for 20. Tel (141 221 3897 between 9am and 5pm. I Bass guitarist with live and stttdio experience seeks Edinburgh-based band. or session work. Phone Pete on (131 228 6(136 after 7.3(1pm. I Campaign for democratic rights in Northern Ireland: Conference 26 March. City Halls. (ilasgow. ‘ls there a

1 commission on sales from 1 Michael .1. Durnan on (131

interested in joining a mixed , qgh 8}n()(1()z”n_6pln) ! .. ._ l PRIVATE TUITION

% DRSAMD. Reasonable

. experienced teacher on

1 lidinburgh. .loltn Casey

Broadwood grand piano.

All stages. Also available as A accompanist. Contact John Black on (131 667 3261.

E I German and Spanish

. tuition by native speakers. All levels. at reasonable

discussion. support. games and fun. For details tel Phil. 6—7.3(1pm. (131 554 4902.

I Glasgow women's social group with fetninist slant. over 311s. meets for theatre. cinema. nights ottt. Contact Box No AN 62.

I Business Opportunity Furniture Household goods. lidinburgh New Town shop has showroom space available for furniture. prints. fabrics etc. Details of rental and

I Private piano tuition by Celeste Singleton.

rates for all ages and stages. Tel (141 3344125.

I Alexander Technique 36 York Place. central

S'l‘A'l'. Phone (131 669 4502. I Piano tuition from young professional musician and i

rates. Phone(131 228 311811. 1

I Wanted set of Northumbrian or Scottish small pipes in good playing condition. Phonel13l 554 88l8evenings or weekends. I Vespa T5 torsale ()riginal metallic grey 1). Reg scooter in excellent condition. with extras. For more details of this well looked after scooter please phone (1721 21158.

I Are you an amateur theatre group short of backstage ltelp'.’ Woman with interest in drama with some backstage skills willing to volunteer. Phone (131 229 5668 after 9.3(1pm.

I Therapeutic massage A powerful treatment for aches and pains. stress and strains. in the privacy of your own home. Phone Ray

i Major on (1875 30376.

I Typing/Word Processing No job too small professional layout and finish at competitive rates. For fast local service phone Word Perfect, (131 667 3518. I Did tamin photos reproduced in B& W. Negative not required. 1; 12 for two 8in x 6in photos. Send photo/cheque (photo post) to 6 Atholl Crescent. Ralston. Paisley PA1 3AP. I Photographic business

considered. Telephone (131 2296700.

I Experienced campaigner seeks work promoting pressure group charity.

' 1 like it here. 1 don‘t mean here. on this island now. this nuclear theme park. or even Here where the birds chirp boldly against the racket of pneumatic drills and where crocuses thrust through virgin soil to make their brilliant presence felt in a wasteland of discarded potato crisp packets and cigarette butts. No.1 mean HERE. among the classifieds. among the therapeutic masseurs. the studio-seeking Spanish painters. cocktail pianists and aspiring Shakespeares (non-smoking). the Yamahas for sale and the mature (I wonder if that‘s a misprint) gardeners who will tackle anything. And particularly among the personal ads where the bright and breezy. sincere and sexy. workaholics and radical Christians advertise optimistically for witty. wonderful.

sensitive. successful. compassionate.

caring. tall. slim. petite. blonde. loving. solvent mates (non-smoking) for lasting relationships (photo appreciated).

1 read the small ads religiously. chuckling like everyone else it‘s true but also with gape-mouthed awe. What courage it must take to sum yourself up in twenty five words. And 1 am struck by how active

waiting. Contact James Curran. 15 Kersland Street. llillhead. (ilasgow.

I Singerwanted for band. to record in professional

democratic solution'." Contact (14] 357111241” (141554 1104. I Single (25-35) and lonely?Join our Edinburgh


((iround floor left). i ('athcart. (ilasgow.

Is small always beautiful? Alan Taylor discusses the nature of love in a nutshell.

people are. How is it 1 want to know ~ that someone (non-smoking) who visits galleries. theatres and cinemas. eats high-fibre loaves and drinks ginseng. likes books and reading. walking en plein air. swimming. and ‘meeting‘ people AND is 6ft 2in AND sincere can‘t strike up a ‘meaningful‘ relationship with a member of any sex in normal workaday life.

But ofcourse people do. It‘s just that we have the illusion that somewhere out there is someone who fits exactly our mental picture of the person with whom we want to spend a life sentence. In an ad you can say upfront what you’re after. otherwise you might as well flick through Spotlight. And as 1 read the ads I desperately want to know what happened next. Did ‘quick-witted woman seeks a straight man (no pun intended) to laugh with' get a ptmch line? Or how fared ‘Newcastle male 25 ugly duckling‘ who sought ‘slim nurse (21-26) to perform swan graft‘." Are they building a nest'.’1 suppose everyone saw the ‘Urgent

Notice' in a recent List from someone frantic to contact a ‘well-dressed. dark-haired man‘ who bought two bacon rolls from a snack van in November. Just knowing that someone likes bacon rolls could be what it takes to make you stick around for breakfast. lt‘s little nuggets like that sastohn

Cockburn. in an entertaining and informative book. Lonely Hearts: Love Among the Small Ads (Simon & Schuster £9.95). that make all the difference. He has interviewed 200 people who have used personal advertising and has ‘analysed‘ 6000 ads. read hundreds oflonelyheart letters and gone on blind dates himselfto get the feel ofthem. As you would expect he did find evidence ofopera singers who look in the tnirror and see ballet dancers, euphemising wimps without Woody. Allen‘s wit waiting for Annie Hall to sweep them away in her VW. And there were businessmen who were really civil servants. ‘curvaceous' size 18s. unsubstantiated boasts from chaps claiming to have the

Ilmprove yourSpanish! . Native offers private tuitton i all levels. 249llolm1ea Road

; cards. (iet yourself/your

! product known amongst

i existingxprospective

1 customers. Postcards/

1 promotion cards for hotels.

‘endurance' of a thoroughbred and thinning Yul Brynners.

Mostly though self-deprecation and honesty prevailed and most users of the smalls were sincere often lonely but not always— men and women desperately seeking someone (non-smoking) to cuddle rather than a series oftorrid one-night stands. 1 think I approve of that. The advertisers who get most replies tend to be young women. one who described herself as 22. blonde and attractive in Time Out got over 200. Men like women who are petite and blonde. would that it worked vice versa. ‘Height in men‘. says Mr Cockburn. ‘is an alarmingly important credential‘. though he admits later that there‘s no great demand for basketball players. That was a relief. Generally. it seems that the older the man. the younger the woman. the heavier the postbag, and though women advertise less than men they get more replies for it‘s a women's market up to the age of48. Soto be young and male and living on this island now is not particularly desirable. unless. ofcourse, you want to bide your time with an older woman. Worse advice could cost more.

58 The List 18— 31 March 1982'