I Assertiveness Workshop tor women. Ilillhead (‘IB. Sat ll) Sept. Ill.3(lam 4.30pm. £15 lilllconcl. I-‘orbooking into phone Anne I Ialliburt on (Lil $165426.

I GestaltTherapy Group with .losta Bernstadt and John Whitley. Starts in Edinburgh .‘vlid-September. For details phone (RI 328 384 l.

I Decorating New ingtori Decoratorsl td. I’rolcssional tradesmen and specialists in hanging line papers. stripping andvvaving doors etc. Ringll3l «HIIIIIIIM,

I Experience Exage t7 loi‘ 3.: hours. 'I rv belore votr buv

( ‘etitral ( ‘vcle I Inc. IF I ochrrir

I’lace. lollet‘oss. lif‘l 33571333.


I Streettheatre. looking lot” tirivoiie interested in travelling itttonths l'.trrope t Mas Jul} 8*); to develop ow it show gain experience and ltav e a good lltlle. Bt)\ Xi) H" II I.


I Social lile in a rut? New to (ilasgow '_’ \th not ioitiour rntor‘mal grorrp lot voting prolcssionals and take part iii socialeventsantlspot'ts.

Bo\ \o 7“ l.

l I One thousand ship tleet seeks

Ilelen's whereabouts. She is 21-26. educated. non-smoking. Likes romance. cinema. theatre. (ilasgow. travel. wining. dining and decadence. Swap pix and write now. Box No 73 2.

I Lesbian (35) non-smoker secksothers for support. awareness. friendship; who knows— perhapsrelationship. Likes cinema theatre art wining and dining. good talk laughter. Iiiijovs tennis goII walking. (ilasgow Iidinburgh .-\.I...»\. Box .\'o 73 (i.

I Glasgow Sexagenarian male requires assistance linishrng large readicut wool rtrg. It'll have vou Iiooked on stitchesand in them. Box \o74 l.

I Tall. unattached. professional Englishman. ~13. verv well educated. articulate. inv entiv e. imaginative. kind. considerate. wide range ol‘interests. vv ell spoken. own home and car. good conversationalist. eniov s travel. domiciled ( ilasgow. Bo\ No 7-1 3.

I Attractive Gay Male teacher (3‘)). living ncar(ilasgow interested in the theatre. cinema. music. politics. seeks similar discreet man with a sense ol humour. Photo and phone number appreciated. .-\l..-\. Box Nit 75 I.

l l

I Single Male (25iseeks companv tor holidav or travel. late September to October.

Anv thingor anvone considered. Write soori to get organised. Box No 75 5.

I Lively attractive temale (2m seeks intelligent fun loving good humoured male (37—3-1). Interested in sports. theatre. trav cl. music to share activities. . (ilasgow area. Replvto Box No 75 (v,

I Selection ol Glasgow based women seek choice men. .-\llsorts considered. No fruit and nutcases or oddt‘ellow's pursued. We pick you mix. Box t 7h I

I Glasgow romantic gentle protessional guy (35) reasonava attractive. divorced ( no children) totallv led tip with boring weekends. would just lov e to hear from similar prolessional lemale. nothing ventured etc? Box No 70 2.

I Are you single gradtrate. prolessional. aged 25 391’ \\'oti|d _vou like to extend vour social circle bv meetingothers like vou’.’ It so. send sac to Box No "In 3.

Somebody out there wantsto know vou. Write totlic I’I:RS( )\.-\l.colurnn of The 1.1.x! arid iind ottt w ho!

I Caretul single man. mititlte thirties seeks Mrs. Miss Robertson to revive long lost skills. Aged 25—~~lt)complete discretion assured and required. I’hoto appreciated please w rite genuine reriIv-stvrilv. Box .\'o

76 4.

I Interesting positive caring male. worth a letter. seeks prettv girl woman lor lrieudslup companionship mav be more Non-smoker preferred. Box .\'o 7(3 5,

THE LIST PERSONAL ADS are designed for individuals to meet other individuals lor lzl

relationships. \Ve reserve the right to reluse anv

adv ertisement without

explanation. ( 'rrculars.

promotional literature and ollensive material are not forwarded where discov cred. ll vorr receive such material w rtli votir Box replies please let its know. “the. enclosing tlte material. to: (‘Iassilied .-\ds Dept at Hie/.rvr.

I Prolessional Market Research Consultant. trtale (39). ( ilasgovv, sccksa liver temale (30 Film romantic relationship. Interests music. squash. cross countr'v. travel. .'\.I...'\. Please write. Box No "a 3.

I Gentle. unassuming. thwarted. extrovert man. (3! ). seeks kindred woman to adventure ottt with. Are _vou interested in :\rts.l anguagcs. 'I'ravel and having a lew laughs Write to me! Izdinburgh. Box No "7 3. I Depressed 15yearotdlemale needs lcmimst triends to exorcise suicidal tendencies Seeks intellectual reltel lront listening to perpetual conversations about bov lriends. tasltrou and discos. Bov No7" 4. I I won‘t wait uritrl we meet bv pure chance. w ill vitri'.’ 'l'all good looking iritlustrrous male 25. promising luture. still seeking tairlv similar vet‘v good looking woman. Ititelligerit. responsible and liv elv . _vou eriiov sun inn and emotions. ( )pen mind and interest in travelling essential. I’lease w rite back tor possible romance and iornt adventure it spark. (ieiiuine ad. Box .\'o

\Vlteli word reaches the ( ‘il_\' ('ale it‘s time to do something about it. It was there one night last week that an art

school student asked me vv It} I never write about anvthing important. lake _ver \eal .'\schersons. _vcr

Sallv .\lagnussons. ver I Iughie

.\Icllv annevs.‘ he said. al'l'ecting a working class brogue. “w eck iii week otit tackling the big subiects: Poland. the Big ( i. the Super Bowl. And _vou. what do _voti write about'.’ l’eebles. goldlish and pints ol' \ltirphies.

I le ltatl one til those ,semi-supcrcilrous. semi—gla/ed

smiles and It ir a nro I thought he had ; mistaken trte lot” .\llan .\Iassie w hich .is not as ridiculous as it sounds. Allan1

being a decade or so mv senior. and ;

me being tour-ev ed and

wind-weathered. Btrt I knew he

could pick me out in an identitv

m_v glass ol (\‘ll - and mouthing a

r soliloquv. 'I‘he night was Stvgian and I was surrounded bv Young (‘rematorians sucking tip chocolate milk shakes with two straws, l’ci'liaps i



Alan 'I‘avlor takes on the weighty question of life in the


there alread}; latent. waiting tor a dowser to eotne along and turn on the tap. \Vhat drew it to the surlace was the storv about 'l‘on_v .lacklirr and

lost on intelligent readers. .I\s vou will expect I hav e little to acltl tilt the subject except to sav that I was there. No. not when . . btit w hen .Iaeko strode tip the lt\'th at Roval l._v tham to win the ( )pen in l‘to‘). .i\t the time I did not have an "( )’ level to mv name and in} lather thought I was vouth hostelling iti \Ielrose. I think he still rloes. l'hree ol- tl\ e_v eled lor live tlav‘s through the Borders and lakes and slept in a seaside shelter at Blackpool with a gang lroni Manchester w ho dotrbled tip on

I Iar'lev I)av idsous and thought we were crackers. But to them goll was iust a game; we know dilleretit. don‘t w c'.’

parade tor he kept mentioning Musselburgh racecourse in a w a_v that suggested I should be more familiar with it than I reallv am. It‘sa tact ol lile that it _vou liv e in a place lamous lor something particular people think ev ervone who liv es there is mad about it. like ice-cr'carri. Because ol I.ttca's it's assumed I eat gallons ol’ the stul'l. which I do. but I wiin it wasn‘t taken I‘or granted. .-\riv vvav . to get back to Pablo I’ieasso w Ito bv tiovv has one hand on m_v should ~r the other on the bar. and is swinging his legs like ()Iga Korbut on the parallels. llie onl_v consolation was that he was underntiurished. Still I was glad when his girllriend took him oil to see her etchings.

.-\lter he‘d gone I tell into a vacant. pensive mood. staring moodilv into

l l l

I’ablo was right. perhaps it was tiuie l addressed rrivsell' to the big issues. I tried to think olonc. ( )tit ol luck. I headed tor home and dugout some i old Sundav papers and ruled through them. I’oll tax. acid rain. the l Iiriglishing ol .Iersev . the ('oea-coloni/ation ol I’apua New (iuinea. lloods in lridia. I could turn mv hand toanv one ol them. I thought. what a pitv the} 'v e been cov cred alt'eadv.

’l‘hen it struck me. there was one subiect which was worthv or rue. the one Sir I’elham ( ii'env rlle \Vodehouse reckoned onlv the linest minds could contemplate tackling: goll. l rntrst however make a coril'ession. (ioll’did not drop into in} mind like a ball chipped into the hole lrom a greenside bunker. It w as l

a l7 vear-old waitress.

I do not intend to go into background details. Ilvou are not an tan with them vou shouldn't be reading a column such as this which is devoted to seeking otrt truth. exposing iniustice and denouncing those intent upon underrriining the democracv we hold dearlv to our hearts. \Vhen. as I Iunter S. said ol R. Nixon. the scum also rises we torpedo it. It _vou‘re interested I suggest _vou get hold ol a back lile ol the Stilt and do some six oiling up.

Stillice it to sav that .Iaeko kissed

and the waitress spilled the beans.

'l‘here's not mtteh rrrore to it than that btrt it has kept hacks hacking tor a l‘ortiiight. Yesterrlavs hero has become todav's villain lor doing basicallv' the same thing: scoring i birtlies. rite- ironv oltliis will not be I



llie km to

2‘) heptetribei I‘l.\.\ 75.