relationship. Looks not important. personality is. lfyou also like skiing. books. cinema etc and you‘re Zliish. then get in touch. Glasgow Edinburgh. Box No 795.

I Glasgow male (23). straight acting. inexperienced. fun loving. wide ranging interests. seeks similar for friendship. nightsout. laughs. Can you help'.’ Write now. photo & phone no appreciated. Non scene preferred. A.L.A. Box No 79/6.

I Gay/Bi guy (who knows'.’). 23. fairly new to Edinburgh. Straight acting. not into gay scene. Seeks similar for possible friendship/relationship. 21—25. Discretion expected/assured. R.S.V.P. Box No 79/7.

I Warm attractive female. (26). Loves animals. music. the sea. theatre. skiing. poetry. Glasgow. fun. Seeking gentle intelligent kindred man. If you‘re the one; single and loveablc. write soon! Box No 79/8.

I Female graduate. (26). new to Edinburgh (straight). free thinking. humorous. Likes conversation. films. theatre. cats. hillwalking. countryside. Dislikes rudeness. materialism. snobs. Seeks males’females for friendships. relationships. socialising. Any age. Box No 79/9.

I Lesbian (43). in Edinburgh for the academic year and looking

vegetarian food. Do reply. I don't bite! Box No79 Hi.

I Close Encounters of a Different Kind! Residential singles weekend 22—23 October. A whole new way to meet and get I to know people and have a fun weekend in Edinburgh. ('ontact Tara— ()1 272 652-1 or 031 22‘) 5668.

Somebody out there wants to know you. Write to the PERSONALcolumnof The/.13! E

and find out who!

I Quiet independentconsiderate professional male. (32. in an) own home and car. seeks caring mature female (25-40) interested in genuine friendship. Varied interests: ()utdoors. travel. art. languages. cinema. ' Box No 7‘) I]. I Happy Horny Hetero (4m. seeks j l

teenage. black nympho with own brewery. Propositions also welcomed from older sisters’mothers grannies”? (‘olourimmaterial Iixuberant earthy extroverts preferred by amiable divorced (ilaswegian. Box No 7‘). 12

IAffectionaie. educated. professional guy. 28.

withdrawn. lonely because of hidden wish to cross dress. seeks girlfriend to open up with. and larger circle of friends. Box No 79/13.

I Intelligent. vivacious. attractive lady (25 ). seeks professional. down—to—earth

scnsitiye. 27. likes jazz.

l.atin African music. swimming. country walksaiid noii-competitiy e sports. seeks seriouslasting relatiorihipwith similar female. Box “it 15.

I Glasgow male (22lseeks similar gay companion for nights 15 :5. reasonable looking. photo please. (Ad courtesy of (i.(i_().Bl) Bo\ .\'o"" lo

I Male (25). gay . iioii scene. seeks guy to help broaden my horizons and possible long let in relationship Iidiiibriigh (ilasgow area. Photo appreciated. Al .-\ Box No

7‘) l7.

THE LIST PERSONAL ADS are designed loi iiidiy idrials to meet other iiidiy iduals ioi l.l

relationships. We icsei \ c

the right to i'eiuse ;lli\ adyei'tiseniciit without explanation ('ireulars.

promotional literature and otferisiye mater ial are not forwarded where tIl\'c'l ry cred It you receive such material w itli your Box replies please let us know. \Vrite. enclosing the material. to: ( "lassiiicd .-\ds Dept at [lie 1.“!

I Edinburgh woman (30) seeks sincere man to share interests in music. theatre. cinema. lite iii general and sense oi humour Iidinliurgh or (ilasgow area. All letters answered. Box No“) l.\_

l l i

around the gyms and bedsitsof(‘entral

and are old enough to remember Woodstock. drop me a line lidiiiburgh area. Box No 7‘) l‘).

I Lonely Edinburgh bi-male ijtiietiish). good-looking. friendly. seeks similar guy.

around the same age. who enjoys music (songwriting? i. occasional gigs. conversation. for close friendship.

Please write. Photo helps! Box No 7920.



One of the grooviest fashion accessories

Scotland right now is the hipper-than-hip [Milli—shirt. Possession of said garment will propel you into the heady world ofdesigner chic. yet the cost to you is a new to t plus Slip

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for others to share social life. Interests include: classical music. theatre. walking and

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Size: Large/Extra Large (please delete where applicable). Send to THE LIST T-SHIRT OFFER. 14 High Street. Edinburgh EH11TE.

On the bus going home tonight a woman stared at me as if I was one of Robert Halpern's guinea pigs. I did what any other member ofthe species would have done in the same circumstances: fingered my l‘ly. [can report. hand on heart and without a blush. that there was no embarrassing expose’ of M & S undergarments. I looked up from the book I always bury myselfin with a ‘so there' insoucianee and found that I was still being given the up periscope treatment. This time I didn‘t know where to look. Perhaps I had jam on my face? I ran my hand around my chops and it came back as it was. I felt for my briefcase in panic. lest I had left it open. revealing a pristine copy of The Independent magazine. a Tupperware luncheon box and the Silicon‘s snapshots of Barra. It was by my side. locked steadfast and as still as a Buckingham Palace guardsman. I was as puzzled at my predicament as Gregor Samsa was at his and I was mightily relieved when the woman wiggled out of her seat and made for the stairs. At the top she paused before descending and looked hard at me. like a hanging judge about to pass sentence. Only when she was clicking along the pavement did it register that she was once a near-neighbour ofours. the one La Belle Dame christened the Valkyrie. I don‘t have a nose for faces. I find myselfgiving knowing smiles to folk

How to lose face by forgetting a face. Alan 'l‘ayloron what's in a name.



in the street who look vaguely familiar and who turn out to be old school chums. Once at a party I spent the evening in animated conversation with a chap who asked. as he headed offinto the night. why I kept calling him Neil. ‘Neil‘s a nice name.’ I said. 'But I'm called Simon.‘ he said.

It‘s very difficult to climb out of a hole like that. You’d think experience would make it easier. but it doesn‘t. But worse was to come on Ian Bell‘s last night of freedom which also coincided with the launch of Virago‘s Scottish classics in The Fruitmarket. It was the usual melee. The promise of raw carrot and

caulillow er and sponsored

deliy dr iiion had flushed some rum sorts li'oni their bunkers and they were. it y ou‘ll excuse the vernacular. getting tore in. It was not a pretty sight and ( 'lierry and I did our best to turn a civilised check in the direction ofour hosts. But two against so many stood little chance. There was every chance of a repeat of the performance at the same venue

w hen Big Arthur leaned on what he thought was a table for his cold platierxbut w as in fact a high-tech exhibit. and smashed it in two. 'I'hat sent the Arts ( ‘ouncil boffins scurrying for the Iivostick I can tell you. At least there were no obstacles

in the way of inebriates this time as they tumbled to the floor like rubber skittles. Still erect. l was a little peeved at the behaviour of n.y countrymen and when one of the Virago representatives asked me who a particular hombre was. I said. pointing an accusatory finger. ‘I lim. just another drunk Scottish writer. I suppose.’ ‘No. no. not lir'ni.‘ she shrieked. as ifshe‘d just won an inflatable Billy (‘onnolly in a raffle. "I‘hat's my husband!‘

How was I to know‘.’ I swear I‘d never seen the man before in my life. Would that the Aged Parent could say the same. A couple of (‘hristmasses ago he asked the Brother to pick him tip from his office party. By the time he arrived it had degenerated into a disco and the Brother had difficulty in pin—pointing Aged what with the party hats. sausage-rolls and all. Eventually be located him at the bar. joined his company and was invited to partake of libation. Embracing a lager he made polite conversation and asked how the Yuletide celebrations had gone. ‘(irand. grand.‘ said Aged. ‘When are you thinkingofheading off home‘.’.' asked the Brother. ‘Any time now.‘ said Aged. ‘l‘m just waiting for my son to come and pick me up.” ‘I am your son.‘ said the Brother. his inheritance flashing before his eyes. Rarely. I think. has there been a more cruel ease ofmisidentification.

The List 14 27 October 1988 67