maker Oliver Brooke‘s. “3] N18 I [313, | "US. I Sfocktalting sale of new hikes I and spares. Friday . Saturday
and Monday. Many hargaiiis. l (‘entral('yclellire. l3l.ochrin l’lace. iliolleross. ll3l 33hfi333. I Mountain bikes. Sale of e\-lllt'e machines starts 'I'liursday 3rd .\'o\emher. (‘entral (‘ycle l lire. l3 l.ochriri l’lace. 'l‘olleross. ll3l
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FOR ALL POSTER AND LEAFLET DISTRIBUTION REQUIREMENTS
FO' anther "‘3'th e"te'eo"o"e 031 -667 9588
I Glasgow male (34mm
alteriiatiy e music. nightcluhs. cinema.seeks female-(34 ' l. Individual appearance
appreciated. Boy \o "(I 3.
I Lonely maleseeksloiiely
female for loy mg lasting relationship. looks not
important. personality is. It you also like skiing. hooks. cinema
etc and you're 3tlish. then get in totich. (ilasgow lzdinliurgli.
Box .\'o 3‘) 5.
I Warm attractive female. r lo I. l.oyesanimals. music. the sea. theatre. skiing. poetry.
(ilasgow . fun. Seeking gentle intelligent kindred man. If 3 you'retheorie;single and I
Height. is a live issue: I know hecause The Independent says so. As the last reel of the American election campaign rolls the gap that divides the two ferocioust dull candidates is down to just six inches. ’l‘hat‘s if you believe .‘ylichael ‘Action Man’ Dukakis is 5ft Sin. I must say I find this hard to swallow. I le looks more like 5ft 3 or 4m to me — either that or his hodyguards are on stilts. Ilis aides have chewed their gum tasteless to give the Bostonian (ireek a hoost and as his share in the opinion polls dwindles his height inches up. (‘ome election day he‘s on schedule to he a giant hut a day after he‘ll still he living on top of a heanstalk. 'l'he prohlem. apparently. is that voters associate authority with size. the theory heing that you can't he a tower ofstrength with 31in inside leg and a 14in collar. By contrast Bush. at (ift 3in. is a mountain of a man. and ifelected would hecome the joint fourth tallest president ever. sharing a podium with Roosevelt. Washington and Arthur and cowering under Jefferson and Johnson. and lanky Lincoln who shopped at High and Mighty.
This is good news for haskethall players. Otherwise. who‘s cheering? Those of us who have spent a lifetime as the butt of size-ist jokes will see this as yet another huge step forward
loveahlc. w rite soon? Box No
I Female graduate. (In). new to lzdinhiirgh (straight I. free thinking. humorous. I.ikes coriy ersatioii. films. theatre. eats. hillwalkiiig. countryside. Dislikes rudeness. materialism. snohs. Seeks males females for friendships. relationships. socialising. Any age. Bo\ .\'o
, IHappy Horny HeterolJfl),\cck\ j teenage. hlack nympho with ow ii hrewery. Propositions also \y elcomed from older sisters mothers graiiiiies'.’ (‘olour immaterial. Itsiiheraiit earthy estroyerts preferred hy amiahle diyot'ced(ilasw egian. Box No '7‘) I3 I Aftectionate. educated. professional guy. is. withdrawn lonely hecause of hidden \\ isli to cross dress. seeks girlfriend tooperi up with. and larger circle of friends. Box No Tl) I3. I Male (25). gay . non scciie. seeks guy to help liroadeii my horizons and possihle long term relationship. Izdiiihiirgh (ilasgow area. l’lioto appreciated. ALA Box No 7‘) 1". I Edinburgh woman (3U)secks sincere man to share interests in music. theatre. cinema. life in general and sense of humour. Izdinhurgh or ( ilasgow area. All lettersanswered. Box No“) IS. I Mildly arty mildly amusing. (may he ascrihed l. mildly attractive. male ( 38) must add? l’oorly paid? Seeks similar ftiii loving female. All photos
by those who‘ve never known what it
Box No Sll l.
returned. all letters answered.
I Tall. slim. shy. bearded expat (27) seeks warm genuine woman. Interests likes include Kate Btish. dessert. galleries. long walks. cafes. longtalks. massage. kissing. .ltrrig. liheration. poetry and esploring. Iidinhtirgh. Box No
—, t -. ... ‘ ‘.~ .‘ly._ wank "(a)"; quiz”,- . ~24 ~ - j y . "c i.‘-.“."‘ I, ‘of‘j. ucv‘ «'.'-- *..- .. f ‘ i: u‘" 3‘: s 23;va ‘ ' ' ' ' *v,»‘f.4;‘»yh shvl .. 1- y‘?.‘,.‘..s .1 I" ’
THE LIST PERSONALADS are designed for iiidiyidualsto meet other individuals for I : l
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Box NoSll '7.
I 29 year~old. lively. attractive niicse seeks handsome. caring male companionship for nights out and possible relationship. l’lease send intormatiy c letter and photo. ’l‘hanks. Bo\ .\'o
I Edinburgh male(27)
noii- smoker drinker. of mixed ethnic hackground seeks (all open minded intelligent women with a warm down toear'th attitude towards life. Box .\'o
I Attractive. thoughtful Glasgow based male student (21 )sccks similar dissimilar male for friendship. perhaps relationship. Interests include
possihle. (ilasgow or
Small is beautiful argues Alan 'I‘aylor. sizing up to the world domination of the high and mighty.
feels like to pay for a pair of trousers only to have to throw away an arm‘s length of material. This is only one example ofthe heinous exploitation ofsmall people that the (‘onsumers' Association wilfully ignores.
So small people continue to suffer mainly in silence. We know that right is on our side and that if it were not for us the world would he a much worse and certainly more overcrowded place. This is not smugness hut scientifically suhstantiated fact. Thanks to us more people can get into lifts. chimneys are swept and horse races are run. It is. I suppose. too much to insinuate that there has been a plot
to keep part of the population — so to speak — down. but a report puhlished recently (and how useful these are!) suggests that the lowly in origin stay lowly. while chinless wonders sprout like fungi in a glasshouse.
Height. it occurs to me. is a class struggle and if I had the energy I‘d join Militant and demand that the House of Lords he moved to Bournemouth. where all its rnernhers live anyway. Instead I would like to make a puhlic plea for positive discrimination at the workplace with equal rights for anyone under 5ft (yin. There should he free milk to encourage growth. stools at every light switch and
cinema. theatre. travel and non—scene socialising. l’hoto appreciated. Box Nos” 5.
I Girlfriend wanted for 3‘) year old male. (ilasgow Lanarkshire area. someone with a lively personality to hrighten up a rather dull life. lam quiet. fairly attractiy e. unemployed with varied interests. Box No8“ (i.
I Professional non-smoking lady mid-forties enjoys theatre. music. w alking. w hole foods and more. Seeks friendship. companionship male or female.
I Gayfemale (33) has so many friends yet so little else. Mature. fun loy ing and discreet. Seeks soulmates. Write soon. What hay c you got to lose'.’ Nophotosl .\'o 'lioricsl Box Noh’ll S. I Lively fun-loving attractive young (19) female. Seeks male sotiliriate (3“ 36). Must have sense of humour. likes: music. : cinema. dining. dancing sport. (ilasgow area. NUII' scene preferred. l’hoto appreciated. \Vrite Now! Box No SI) 9.
I Wanted stimulating male company for intelligent attractive arty trendy 37 ycarold (ilaswegian leriiale. Box No
I Glasgow Male 21 intosporl. music.cinema. driving. Seeks attractive. warm intelligent female for socialising. Age ck colour immaterial. l’hoto if
Iidinhurgh. Write Box No I Edinburgh male (18).socially
isolated. liasy going. deep thinking. horror fan (it is
possible) seeks friend(s) for drinks cinema sports( l8—3 l ). A ‘I-S'er with student tendencicsl Box NoSU I3.
I Gay Male (22) yearns for person in same general hallpark. Admires Morrissey. jazz. Woody Allen and Humphrey Bogart. Agreeahle and charming. Write soonest as they say. Box NoS‘tl H.
I Girlfriend sought by attractive. interesting. eligihle academic male. 37. Long relationship envisaged. on short (enjoy ahle) trial. Photo and phone number please. Box St) [5.
I Edinburgh male ( 35 l with flat wishes to meet female for hopefully permanent. caring. sharing relationship. likes: yoga. cinema. country w alks. reading. (ierman wine. romantic evenings.
Non —smoker. photo appreciated. .-\.l..A. Box No Sll If).
I Gay/Bi Guyt22i. inexperienced. straight acting. i put off by ghettoish aspects of
gay scene. seeks similar. (ilasgow. Photo appreciated. Discretion assured and expected. Box .\'o.s‘il 17.
I Bisexual Guy r 2o) cross dress IV. 'l‘all. dark handsome non—scene. Seeks friends for fun times. relationship. (ilasgow area. Photo and phone no please. A.l..A. Box .\'o.\’ll IS. I Male (29) youthful ' appearance likes music. cinema. cats and iiiglitcluhs seeks fun loving sincere female for friendship and nights out in or around (ilasgow area. Write soon. Box Noh'tl 1*).
stacked shoes availahle on the National Health Service. To deny small people these rights is a denial of detnocracy itselfand could lead. I fear. to hloody revolution. For if they go on heing exploited small people. like all disadvantaged groups. are hound to hand together (albeit in small groups). I have heard of a just such a group in (iorgie. exclusively for five foot twos. and I am sure Li's! readers are aware that Shorties Are Smarter has long heen an influential voice in America. successfully campaigning to have Randy Newman‘s offensive hit single. ‘Short I’eople‘ ("l‘hey' got little baby legs And they stand so low You got to pick 'em up Just to say hello.‘) removed from many radio station playlists.
But it has been said that such ganging up may well prove to he the Shorties‘ undoing. Smallness. like haemophilia. is hereditary. and while the latter can result in hleeding to death the former offers the possibility ofdisappearance. In the space ofa few generations intensive in-hreeding could mean that people will get so small it would he irnpossihle to see them. Through no fault of their own small people have hecome an endangered species. I can think of no better reason why all franchised Americans should vote for Senator Dukakis.
The List 38 ()ct — ll) Nov 1988 67