Books. By appointment: Psychic Readings. l’ersonal .>\strological ('onsultations, (‘risis(‘ounselling. Tel; “3] 235 377‘)

I Handwriting analysis: a detailed analysisolyour personality Send handwritten sample. S.‘\l' . and L3 to \V.

.\Ic( iregoi . I l.. 33 Willowbank (ireseent . ( ilasgow (i3 (i\.-\

I Decorating New ingion Decorators! td. l’rolcssional tradesmen and speciallsls in hanging line papers. stripping and xx axing doors etc. Ringll3l -1-lllllll‘)-l.

IJoiner.l.i-,. l)uggan Reliable tradesman. .'\ll ty pes ol ioinerwork undertaken in (‘L‘IIII'itl Scotland. l’hone I’enicuik T0505.


I Woman (30. Professional) seeks doxy It to earth. sincere manlw itli sense of humour) to share interests in music. film. theatre. outdoor pursuits. etc.

similar female to brighten up work-dominated lite. Interests; Iiatingand drinkingout. theatre. cinema or quiet nights in. l’hotoappreciated. Box No 8] "r.

I Glasgow lesbian (30) nexx to ‘scene‘. wishes to had new friends for support and a lixelier social life. Hm No.8: 1.

I Where are all you older t 35 - l lesbians‘.’ I know you‘re tlieie. but can‘t find you. (‘ome on. show youiselxes. let‘s take in some t‘tillc‘cl ls. lia\ c tllx‘alsulll. and a lew laughs. liox No.3 3. I Vivacious. single. iemale graduate (28) w itli good sense ol humour. linds it ditticult tomeet interesting. intelligent and lun-lox mg men. l-"it the bill‘.’ Apply . preferably xx itli photo. to Box .\'o 82 3.

I Sparkling white wine Vintage '(ib. desires a x ibrant champagne(post-'58 Vintage) to enhance a chilled existence. (‘onlusedl’ lady (33 l seeks gent (under .‘stll lor tun and

appreciated. Box .\'o82 (i.

I Attractive. intelligent 25 year-old female. recently mox ed to (ilasgow . keen to make lriends. I.oxcs(ilasgow. cafes. theatre. cinema. xxalking. seeks lixely interestingmale companion. .-\ll letters answered. \Vi'ite soon!

Box Nob: a.

I Gay Glasgow sensitive iemale (24)enioys lite and likesto laugh. liitogood food and wines. cinema. theatre and more. Seeks similar tosliare these occasions with. Photo appreciated. BU\ \tih: b'.

I Gay iemale (24) xx arm. lox ing. enioyseatingout.socialising. most sports. theatre. cinema and qtiiet nights in w ith good company . seeks similar. Box No 82 I),

I Slightly immature Edinburgh ntalelflseeks lixely unique iemale to share experiences and enioy music. gigs. photography. motorbikes. pool. TV and films. l’hotoappreciated Box No

lit“ \tthl 3.

I Newly estabished social network for single. graduate. professionals aged It» 3‘). Socialising. cinema. theatre. meals. otitiiigs. etc. [or lurther information send sae to Box No 81 4.

I Gay/Bi guy 35 inexperienced straight acting and not mtogay scene seeks similar for friendship relationship. Interests nitisic. cinema. theatre. drinking. photo appreciated. Discretion assured and expected. Box .\'o81 5.

I Glasgow Male (28)quict. intelligent and sincere seeks

friendship. l’lioto please. Box N08: 4.

I Female artist Intellectual introxert. tall. thirties. independent.seeks similar (male 3b ~13 ) ( ilasgoxx , to discuss areliitectuie . ecology. music. education. poetry. politics. psychology . theology . phobiasand passions. I’hoto please. BU\ \ti \3 3 I Brighlbubbly redhead (early 308) dixorced. Izuloys hill-walking. music. good conxeisatioii. good company. iomantic ex eniiigs. seeks similar male tosliaie. l’lioto not necessary but xxould he

s: lo.

I Male (30lsecks correspondei'.ee w itli temales. anywhere any age. looks unimportant. My interestsare xai led and wide-ranging. Box \H 5': ll.

I Tall quiet chap (25) seeking lcinale company . Iidinburgh Izast l.otluan Berwickshirc areas. Interests: cinema. rock concerts. tray cl. lood. Not too ox crweiglitll lfyou're slightly l era/y please xx rite to Box No

l 3: l:.

| I American novelist (40$) stay mg in I'SA. seeks cheerful.

Accustomed as I am to giving vent to my most wayward thoughts. I have yet to come to grips with speaking in public. Ever since I was asked to talk for sixty seconds without hesitation or repetition on the subject of oscillation to fellow sixth formers. l have approached the prospect with fear and loathing. You'd think it would get easier with experience and in an odd sense it does. At least now I don't spend the hours immediately preceding an engagement throwing up or throwing hack drams. or polishing the hon mots till they glisten like black olives. Instead of getting het up I have acquired a sang froid that is wholly unjustified and there have been occasions. I'm embarrassed to admit. when I‘ve been so relaxed during a talk that I've fallen asleep before the audience.

This is a terrible confession from one who has been trained in the art. For few people I know can embellish their c.v.s with a mark of distinction from the English Speaking Union. I came by this honour after attending a course at an Edinburgh college. There were about twenty of us enrolled and after ten weeks I was convinced it would be easier to tight-rope over Niagara than become a fluent orator.

The first thing. said the tutor. was

Alan Taylor casts crumbs of comfort to those attempting public oratory without the be

and Saatchi.

to conquer self~consciousness and to that end he insisted we talk to a bare wall about table-tennis. It was like a scene from One Flew Over The (‘uckoo‘s Nest and especially tough on those who had never ping-ponged. But worse was to come the following week when we were asked to address a roomful of motor mechanics on growing bonsai. or some other subject about which they were clearly burning with curiosity. It went down like Russ (‘onw'ay at an Iron Maiden concert. Hereafter. said the tutor. holding a carrot to a donkey. women‘s guilds will he a


independent. left-wing Scotswoman (3nd} and not too thin! l to share two-continent life. l’hoto appreciated. Box No 82 I3.

I Assistance welcomed from singles couples interested in forming small friendship group. lispeeially welcoming. non-trendies. non well-off. sensitix'e broadminded (age

ll * l. Ideas. suggestions wanted‘.’ Meeting x enues reqtiired'.’ Two SAT-s essential. ((ilasgow anywhere). Box .\'o 83 l4.

THE LIST PERSONAL ADS are designed for individuals to meet other individuals for 1: 1

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you receix e such material with your Box replies please let us know Write. enclosing the material. to: (’lassified Ads I)ept at Hie last.

nefit ofSaatchi



Towards the end of the course we prepared for our test. I had decided to read from Kafka‘s Metamorphososis (l was newly married) and talk on the subject of breadmaking. When I announced my intentions the examiner said. not sotto voce. ‘()h. no.‘ I quaked and my voice quivered but soldiered on to the end without tripping up. The worst was over. or so I thought. for I was confident about the hreadmaking spiel which I had been practising in front ofa full-length mirror for a fortnight. My talk was typed immaculately on Sin by 3in cards and I had assembled a stunning array of audio-visuals bags of flour.

I Successlul gent (26) seeks arty girlfriend. I'm handsome. cultixated and single. Please answer and make me happy! Photo appreciated. SAIi ensures reply. Box No8] 15. ITaIl, dark woman (33)ccntrally located. with smoking and drinking habit. who likes board games. the theatre and good food (xx hen affordable) seeks male companion opponent. Box No8: lb.

I Sensitive. attractive male student (21 ). seeks similar

young guy for friendship. support. possibly relationship. Interests include cinema. music (indie. alternatix e. by e). pubs etc. (ilasgow. I’lioto appreciated. Box No.82 I7.

I Male aged 29 quiet. good-natured. attractixe; enjoys swimming. easy climbing. traxel and ‘green' lifestyle. seeks healthy friendship relationship withsimilar (professional?) man. (ienuine letter and photo appreciated will answer. Box N082 IS.

I Warm. sensitive ( ilasgoxx male (ll l seeks attractixe and caring male. hopetullx for relationship. l‘sual interests esp'I‘lieatre l’liotoappreciated. Box No8: l‘).

I Bisexual lemale(18—45) sought by creatixe malc ( 25 l lor friendship and to eiiioy lile around (ilasgow Iidinburgh. Box No8: Ill.

I Gay guy (22) reasonably attractixe. quiet and honest seeks similar (student’llor secure. fun lzl lriendship relationship in

(ilasgow Ifldinburgli. My interests include music. sports. socialising. Discretion assuied l’lioto‘.’ .\'on scene. llox \o

82 2|.

I Intelligent attractivetemale (34) new to ( ilasgow . seeks charming and witty male companionship tor tliealte. cinema. disco. l’leascscnd photo and phone number to liox No8: 22.

pinches ofsalt. baking trays. aromatic loaves with which to beguile the audience. I started promisingly and was going well when I reached in to my bag to produce the loaves. the plan being to bribe the examiner with a crumb or two. The bag was empty; I‘d forgotten to pack them. Somehow I adlibbed out of a tight corner. but you could have baked chapatis on my cheeks. After that I won‘t hear a word said against Delia Smith.

All this came back to me last week when I was asked to speak to the Society. a select club who meet monthly in the backroom of Stewart‘s Bar in Drummond Street. ‘Talk about anything that's burning in your mind at the moment. as long as it‘s controversial.’ said David Campbell. the Society‘s chairman. ‘We meet at seventeen minutes past seven.’ he said. in answer to my enquiry as to when I should show up. ‘But no one appears much before eight.‘ How long did he want me to talk for'.’ ‘Anything between twenty minutes and two hours.‘ This. I realised. was the talk for which I'd been gearing myselfup for years and when the members flung notes on the table for a kitty. insisting that. as a guest. I was not required to contribute. only imbibe and talk. I knew that Stewart‘s was my Carnegie Hall.

The List 25 Nov 8 Dec 1988 75