I See Spain and learn Spanish the best way: Blue Sky ('entre noworganising student exchanges for next summer. All levels. I4 25 years. Phone: liast Kilbride 03552 38976.


ITall quiet chap (25)sceking female company. I‘ldinbnrgh Iiast Lothian Berwickshire areas. Interests: cinema. rock concerts. travel. food. Not too overweight?! Ifyou're slightly crazy please w rite to Box .\'o 8312.

I Woman (31. divorced) wishes to meet genuine man with good sense of humour for relationship. Wide-ranging interests include theatre. film. music. eating in out etc. Box .\'o 83 2.

I Attractive female (so) with good sense of humour likes cinema. eating out. keep fit. Seeks similar male age 27—36 for good company. Edinburgh area apply Box No83 4.

I Woman aged 30 lidinburgli based wishes to meet down-to-earth man for friendship relationship. Interests include music. cinema. etc. Box 33 I3.

I Wanted single people to

join help run small informal social club for people 3l + interested in outings to pubs. clubs etc. (ilasgow area. Write now for Xmas New Yearouting. Box N083 If).

I Good-natured manila) intelligent. goodlooking. funny.

These last few days there have been

hints and allegations. not to mention threats and insinuations. that the prime recipient of my (‘hristmas presents past has not been entirely chuffed with what‘s been coming her way this decade. Having had no inkling ofthis until now. I was a bit put out. It‘s true that shopping is not


likes music. coiiy ersation and quiet eyenings. Seeksbright. loy ing. stable woman for lasting relationship I-dinbtii'gliaiea. Box \ii 54 l

I Extravagant. exuberant entertaining. estiaordinary. estroy el't seeks chic. charming. caring.champagne-oning (hasaiioy .i (‘oiittisetl ’l atly fills). tall. attiactiye. |o\ cs music. tlicatic. conyeisation and Iitc llc lp' ( ~hanipagnc has gonellat l’liotoappreciach Boy \oSJ I

THE LIST PERSONAL ADS aredesigncd toi indiyidiialsto meet otliei indiy iduals for 1.]

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the right to ietuseany adyci liscment w itliotit esplanation ('iiciilais. promotional literature and offensive material are not low ardcd w liei e discoy cred. It you iccciye such inalciial with your lios replies please let its know. \\ iite. enclosingthe material. to. ('Iassitied Ads Dept at I'licliyi.

I Gay guy(32) bearded. reasonably attiactiye. good natured quiet and honest. seeks similar for friendship. possibly relationship. lnteiestsinclude swimming. music cinema and theatre I diiibtiigli aiea l’lioto appreciated Iio\ .\'o.\-l _‘~

I Attractive positive outlook male writer. 43. recoy ei'ing tioni

.‘yII .. normally L‘Il|iiy\ swimming. dancing. cycling. walking. music and sty Ie.sccks similar woman for ( it. I ing ete. Bo\ \oH-I .1

I Lady. late 50s wotild like to meet gent oils. Interested art. literature. people btit most important to give and receive kindness and consideration in friendship. (\‘ery attractiyei Box \o 8-1 5

THIS IS ME BUTISITYOU? Serious when not silly. Iiiillot common sense and romantic

dreams. Kind as well as strong. I'ull of energy but enjoy tianquillity. Masculine yet honest. 'l‘liis 33. bit. inusctilai' gay seeks a mate oflike-minded and sporty attitude for relationship. .-\ll letters answ cred with photo. Box \ob’4 ID.

I Male student ( lb'l seeks similar male for possible relationshipand friendship. I loy e the cinema and cy enings tittl llitlie ltittsie. PIIUIU appreciated btit not nc'c'c‘ssun. I‘lo\ N084 (i. i I Man seeks woman (under-45) with w hoin to share life's vicissitudes and live happily eyei'allci. Box \oX-l '7.

I I‘m 25. Female. attractive. intelligent witty (slightly yuppie). It you are similar male. let's meet and take the new year by storm lplioto appreciated i. (ilasgow area. Hm 3-1 8.

I Senior executive (36) seeks atti‘aetiye female ZS v toshai'e inteiests in thinking. films. music. country life. theatre. laughs. Nice litesty lc that you could add to. Phone number please. \Vill answer. Box No SJ i).

garment will propel

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For what we are about to receive . . . Alan'l‘aylor reflects on gifts that have rather missed the mark.

.311 S :55?

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I Male (34) good natured. likes

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yerse in all its forms. seeks sane.

healthy friendship relation with another ady enturotis i

(professional? 27-40). Box .\'o 84 Hi. I Beethoven (30) seeks immortal beloved for music. opera. cinema. tray el and possibly

namenlose treude. (ilasgoyy area. Boy Nos-I ll.



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14 High Street. Edinburgh EH11TE.

employ a Beechgrove gardener as an au pair. The solution was simple: a terrarium. Sad that its arrival should have fallen on stony ground. so to speak.

By now she was in spate. ‘I low would you like it if I gave you a plastic apron for your ( 'hristmas‘.". she asked. “When did I give you an

my forte. I am not what you might call an inspired shopper. Nor am I particularly brave. I am not. for instance. likely to volunteer for the version of the Japanese ‘Endurance‘ game that Janet Reger seems to have devised for Marks and Spencers this I festive season which requires the l male of the species to saunter I through a dense undergrowth of l cami-knickers.suspenderbeltsand i l

apron I" "I’he same year you gave me the pot stand and the wooden spoon.‘ ‘You know I am a fervent believer in (‘hristmas bonuses'. I said and ducked. She came at me with a list as long as an ape's arm: Elizabeth David's ling/[sh Bread aml Yeast ( bakery. an Indian smock that made her look nine months pregnant. a soda syphon. a garlic press. two soup plates decorated with dragons and a dozen black and pink plastic tulips. In a way I thought it rather impressive. like the litany of prizes in Bruce Forsy'th‘s (ieneration (iame. ‘And the album ofSpanish guitar music‘. she said. sunk in afterthought. ‘But I thought you wanted the Spanish guitar music.‘ I said. ‘I did’. she said. ‘but you got the wrong guitarist.‘

How was I to know Hank Marvin was Spanish? ‘Is that the lot then'.". I ' asked. ‘or are there any others you‘d like to get off your chest'." ‘Well.' she said. ‘I can‘t think ofothers. They were all so impressive they‘ve paled into insignificance.‘



' problems. ‘You can't just say that‘. I said when the word of disaffection reached me at the frontier of knowledge. ‘without backing it up.‘ Hoping to gradgrind her down. I said. ‘What I want is Facts. nothing but Facts!‘ ‘Well‘. she said. on a starter for ten. ‘while we're talking about Facts. there was the hand-me-down Filofax you gave me when you bought yourself that rubber one with elephantiasis.‘ This was difficult to refute so I pressed her for more examples. "I‘hen what about the terrarium‘." she asked. less

teddies (the ones Roosevelt had no hand in) as if he was Gene Kelly in Singin‘ in the Rain. the object being. apparently. to spend as much as possible to cover as little as possible. Now I‘m not one to harp on what has happened to the true spirit of Christmas but I can‘t help wondering what all this lingerie has to do with Mary and Joe checking in to Bethlehem‘s Holiday Inn a couple of millennia ago. Was this. I ask myself. why shepherds abandoned their flocks to the wolves. why wise men left their catamites. why etcetera‘.’ But that's one for the boys in dog collars to sort out. I have my own

fearful ofcontradiction than Adolf addressing the Nuremberg rally. The terrariurn is a sore point. For as far back as memory can take me one of my many onerous household tasks has been watering the plants. Some withered and died. others did not flourish with neglect. The situation was becoming critical: we . were using up all the oxygen in the l flat and there were no plants to replace it. What we needed was a . nursery to bring on tender young l shoots and a home where plants could survive without having to


'I‘he List 23 Dec WSS~ l3.lan 198‘) 67