i Awfully amusing to read the lead

' story in Henry Cockburn’s diary in

i the Sunday Times this week. It suggests that. through reasons of over-inflated pride and self-esteem. Glasgow City Council saw fit to

i refuse to invite any representative of the well-known Edinburgh journal The Scotsman to a press conference on Thursday last at which details of

the Glasgow 199(lCity of Culture

' extravaganza would be announced.

Admittedly. Allen Wright.that paper‘s arts editor. was not there as he has broken his ankle (and we hope that he will get well soon). but his deputy. Catherine Lockerbie. was in attendance. as were the music editor. two people from the Glasgow offices of The Scotsperson and various photographers. Even more amusingly. Friday's issue of the Person contained an item about that very conference. written in bold type. complete with a four column picture. on its front page. Obviously it had been placed in such an obscure location solely in order to hide it from the Sunday Times diarist.

A conspicuous visual feature of the Glasgow 1990 press conference was a large board, provided, it is assumed, by 1990 PR people Saatchi and Saatchi, and covered in some felt-like material (probably felt). Attached to this board, in front of which the various speakers gave their perorations, were the logos of the companies which are sponsoring the whole shebang. It was as the assembled multitude was being addressed by Bob Palmer, Director of . Festivals for Glasgow 1990, whose task it was to bring the aflairto a glorious : climax, that one of our number noticed } a small man in a raincoat shifting : uneasily in his seat. This person, as soon as Palmer’s inspirational words

if '

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. VlSl‘T ME! H


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had died upon his lips, got up, walked over to the fatty board and removed the logo of the Royal Bank of Scotland. As you can imagine, this action gave rise to a vigorous debate amongst our representatives at the conference. Was

the man perhaps an aggrieved : ex-customer of the bank exacting some

liendish and grisly, if as yet unspecified, revenge, or was he in fact

the person employed by the bank to act . as Custodian of the Logo, whose job it

was to make sure that their one and only shiny plastic symbol was delivered saler to its next appointment? Alas, we may never

3 know.

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.. belt: at euicip'tt " '> Be RooMD LAKE

The Edinburgh University Theatre Company recently announced in a press release that it was to stage a production of Eugene Ionesco‘s Absurd comedy Rhinoceros, sponsored by Shell Oil UK. Even more recently it sent out a press release asking us all to ignore its previous press release in so far as it related to Shell Oil UK sponsoring the production, as they had decided to forgo the money ‘owing to Shell Oil International Ltd‘s participation in South Africa.‘ A very worthy and noble decision to take, and one which required a considerable degree ofcourage, but why accept the money in the first place? What happened, according to the show‘s producer Claire Bennett, was simply that the people responsible for accepting the cash hadn’t. unfortunately. realised that Shell had any connections with South Africa until the matter was brought up at a company meeting. and it was then realised. even more unfortunately, that the show would coincide with an anti-apartheid protest march. Oh dear, it has all been a bit. . . unfortunate.

it was only a few weeks ago that The Listener carried an article ridiculing the state of Scottish television advertising during the 1970s, which, it said, was amateurish, cheap and not very good in any respect whatsoever really. Singled out as one of the worst offenders was an advert whose jingle went ‘McEwan's is the best buy, the best buy, the best buy, McEwan’s is the best buy, the best buy in beer.’ Why, though, complain about the standards



Woumommir A Few measles, i’zerEND nee ,.

of adverts in the 1970s when in 1989, and possibly at this very moment, Scottish Television shows the new, updated and improved Balmore Double Glazing ad? The old version, you may remember, was never particularly good, featuring as it did two sonsie it rather pinkie-faced actors prentending to be double glazing installation operatives, singing a song about various aspects of the excellent service provided by Balmore set to the tune of When I’m Cleaning Windows, and performing a hand-shaking dance which first saw the televisual light of day on the Black and White Minstrel Show circa 1958. The new version shows the same two supposed double glazing installers doing exactly the same dance and singing exactly the same lyrics at the same tempo, but the tune has changed, via the offices of someone at the overdubblng studio. We at the Diary had thought, in our naive way, that this was simply a case of a terrible advert being made even worse, but we now realise, thanks to The Listener, that the agency responsible is really carrying on a noble Scottish tradition. Thank

heavens there are still such people in this country.

Thanks to all those readers who have sent in suggestions for distasteful cinema double-bills. J. Lord from Glasgow thought that a ‘Fetishist‘s Night Out' might include Naked Gun and The Man With One Brown Shoe whilst. according to J. White of Edinburgh. under the banner ‘Sweet Dreams’ Sleeping Beauty might be shown along with Coma. C. Baxter ofCumbernauld, meanwhile. suggests that a ‘Night of the Living Dead' might feature Zombies, Dawn ofthe Dead and the Italian religious epic The Resurrection ofChrist. Keep your suggestions coming in, sending them to The Diary at The List’s Edinburgh office. We will do our best to persuade the Cameo to show the best, or depending upon which way you look at it, worst of those we receive, and as an added inducement we are offering as a prize a copy of Biggsy's Bible, a truly tasteless book in which Ronald Biggs offers his tips on how to be successful in life.

Nigel Billen. Music



Publisher Robin Hodge. Editors Nigel Billen. Sarah Hemming. Associate Editor Allan Hunter, Editorial Assistants Stuart Bathgatc, Andrew Burnet. Iain Grant. Design Simon Esterson. Advertising/Circulation Jess Barrow. Rhobat Bryn. Sheila Maclean. Classified Advertising Paul Kinnes, Accounts Georgette Renwick. Typesetting Jo Kennedy. chcr Text Production

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l (Edinburgh) Alastair

Mabbott. Rock (Glasgow) John Williamson. Sport Stuart Bathgate. Theatre

g SarahHemming.Trave| Kristina Woolnough Camera Edinburgh

Make-up Services Cover

Wildcat‘s Border Warfare : (photo: Douglas , MacGregor) Cover Design

Nigel Billcn and Paul

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4 The List 10— 23 February