_ ' 1 Hanging about with nothing to do? The Filth Edinburgh Puppet Festival will provide

a great deal of entertainment. especially

ior kids. some at it with no strings attached. See Kids.

labels met the press on 16 February to announce the launch of the Scottish Record Industry Association. the first time that labels in this country have got together to cooperate in a bid to ‘bring the visibility and credibility to Scotland that the record industries ofcountries like Canada. Sweden and Ireland can boast’.

(‘haired by Robin Morton of the folk-based label Temple Records. the SRIA numbers around 30 companies. encompassing a vast range of musical product. from classical to jazz to rock. Depending on your definition. Morton explained. there are between ()(i and 8() record companies in Scotland. with a total turnover. by very rough estimates. of £5 million a year.

The SRIA has already sent a delegation to MIDILM. the record industry's annual trade fair. and were greatly encouraged by the interest of similar organisations in other countries. making contacts they could not have made as small independent units. ‘We now know that we are an industry.‘ said Morton. ‘Since the association was formed I get the feeling that the record industry in Scotland is becoming increasingly confident.’

()ne ofthe first aims ofthe SRIA is to develop at least one Scottish chart. a plan inspired. explained Nightshift Records boss Brian Guthrie. ‘by finding out that the current chart system was not totally fair and equitable throughout the whole ofthe UK.’ The SRIA. ‘a marketing association. I suppose. for the whole Scottish Record lndustry.’ as Morton described it. also plans silver and gold disc awards. as happens in other countries. though with hopefully better organisation than the BPl's televised ‘Bri s’ fiasco.

Hand carved laciiiiired plane trorn France!

v on sale (£97.50) at the Round The World/ City Cale event.


Glasgow University Students’ Union recently decided that their canteen needed a face-lift if it was to recapture the custom that was leaking slowly, then over-flowing, to cafes outside the university. Design consultants Mellroy Coates were given a straightforward brief: to design an attractive 100 seat cafe. Rory McNeil], the creator of the new-look canteen, explained his intentions in commendable designer-speak: ‘We wanted to use 20th century design, but we also wanted to reflect the history of the building. So we’ve used designer matt-black and we managed to incorporate features from the University Coat of Arms. It has a slightly Rennie Mackintosh feel

No-one can have missed the Comic Relief ‘Car Conks‘ which are leading the field in designer car-wear. Comic Reliefproducts have attained cult status as has the whole concept of Red Nose Day 2 on March 10th. Nobody is sick of red noses yet, and the organisers have managed to infuse a sense of giggling-after-officeChristmas-parties fun into the proceedings. Human noses (from Woolworths, Oxfam and Save the Children shops) are reported to be selling well. as are the car conks (from BP stations) which are so much in demand that they are being stolen off the fronts of people’s vehicles. Other products include the Sweatshirt, the T-shirt. the Boxer Shorts and the Mad Cap Cap (from Burton shops). the Comic Relief Happy Mug (available PG Tips special offer). the Comic Relief Postcards (the words are already written. all you do is sign your name from Lunn Poly Holiday Shops) and ‘Help! The Single‘ by Bananarama and Lananeeneenoonoo (available from all record shops). For the literary-minded. invest in the Comic Relief Revue Book. A small investment of£4.99 gets you sketches, skits and slander from the best of Britain’s funny people. (Published by Penguin. Available from most bookshops). Pranksters will enjoy two children's books What 3 Comic Relief! which is a survive-school handbook. with jokes and handy hints for pupils and Comic Relief Red Nose Joke Book. The one offered on the publicity material runs Q: What’s green, lives in the vegetable patch and sings rock ’n roll? A: Elvis Parsley.


a” ’3 - r .- ;?_ r


a iii.»- ‘e . The new Mcllroy Coates designed Glasgow Union cats.

to it too.’ The canteen’s original panelling and flooring have been retained. and the university's designer cafe is the envy of all and sundry (including its sparring partner, Queen Margaret Union).

As we swing back to the marvellously indolent lay-about intellectual culture of mid-century Paris or 18th century Grub Street (coffee-drinking. croissant-eating and roll-up-smoking all day every day in cafes), venues are going to be paramount. Edinburgh’s City Cafe is already well-known as a designer meeting-place, where all (except spectators) are young and beautiful. To confirm its status, and that of Round The World. Victoria Street's designer shop, City Cafe is playing host to some of Round The World’s exclusive stock and to Japanese designer beer, ‘Sapporo‘ for a soirée of designerism on 19th March from (and I quote) ‘1900 hrs onwards’. City Cafe, new exponent of

digital time, are at 19 Blair Street, Edinburgh.



The lllm Scandal stirs up memories of all the other moral banana skins that

people in high places have ' slipped on. outraging public

sensibilities and giving rise to plenty ot yawn. shock, horror stories. Unlikely couples have hit the headlines with their illicit relationships. not the least bizarre of which are the hot atlairs ol rotund. ugly politicians with glamourous. sought-after women:

1. John Prolumo and Christine Keeler. Result: End ol Protumo’s political

| career and beginning oi

Christine Keeler's stardom. 2. Gary Hart and Donna Rice. Result: End oi Hart's presidential promise. blossoming ol Rice‘s modelling career and a new meaning to the term ‘completely innocent relationship’.

3. Edwina Curry and an egg. Result: Grand iinale

' (temporary. one feels) to

Mrs Currie's persistent knuckle-rapping and and ot egg's revered position on the food bestseller lists.

4. President Nixon and bugs. Result: Watergate— Nixon is discredited and bugs are lound everywhere. 5. President Reagan and Ollie North. Result: Irangate- Reagan and North are let olithe hook, and North makes a fortune on the college-lecture circuit. (All in the name of loyaltyto his country, oi course).

6. Harold Wilson. Marcia and the slag-heaps. Result: slide in Wilson's credibility.

7. Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson. Result: One at Britain's all-time favourite love-aliairs. as romantic hero gives up his throne. his country. his all tora woman.

8. Cecil Parkinson and Sara Keays. Result: Mrs Thatcher turns a blind eye to her beloved traditional iamily-values as last as she can. Additional result: baby.

9. Jeremy Archer and prostitute. Result: Archer gives up political career and concentrates all his efforts on making millions by writing novels about scandals.

10. Jeremy Thorpe and his dog. Result: End otThorpe's career and dead dog, but Norman Scott survives.

11. Sir Ralph Halpem and Fiona Wright. Result: Halpem’s reputed stud-prowess reaches a wideraudience and the tabloids nick-name him ‘The Banking Burton Boss‘. 12. Sir Ronald Ferguson and masseuse Barbara Ashley. Result: nothing. but Oueentakes a hull.

The List 10— 23 March 1989 3