are available from Strathclyde Anti Poll-Tax League. 4th Floor. 12 Renfield Street. Glasgow. 204 3592.

I Grand Union Music Workshops ard Performance See above. Thurs 16 for details.

I Meet The Scots Lunch The Undercroft. St Andrew's & St George‘s Church . George Street. Edinburgh. lnfo:5561836. 12.30pm. £3.50 (members £3). The guest of honour at this month‘s lunch organised by the Saltire Society is the Right Reverend Richard Holloway. Bishop of Edinburgh.

I Tai Chi Yang Style Salisbury Centre. 2 Salisbury Road. Edinburgh. 667 5438. 10am—5pm. £35 (£20) for twodays. Adrian Martinez leads this session on Tai Chi Chaun. a relaxation and meditation technique in which movement is based on the forms and processes in nature.


I Astrology: Interpretation Workshop Astrology Centre. 60 St Stephen Street. Edinburgh. 225 2779. 11am. £10. Violet Milne leads.

I Grand Union Meeting See above. Thurs 16 for details.

I Tai Chi Yang Style Salisbury Centre. 2 Salisbury Road. Edinburgh. 667 5438. 10am—5pm. See above. Sat 18 for details. I Women's Morning Meditation Buddhist Centre. 329 Sauchiehall Street. Glasgow. 3330524. 10.30am. Free. Open to all women. who can participate in either or both of two sessions and lunch.


I Lecture: Gunpowder, Compass and Silk: The Technology of Medieval China Lecture Theatre. National Museum of Scotland. Chambers Street. Edinburgh. 225 7534 ext 219. 12.45—1.30pm. Free. Dr Anthony Butler speaks in another of the Year Of The Snake series.


I Lecture: Robert Adam In Glasgow Collins Gallery. Richmond Street. Glasgow. Info: 221 7472/0292 590 273. 7.30pm. £2(members£1). including wine. Ranald Mclnnes of the Historic Buildings and Monuments Department may have some interesting revelations to impart in this talk. as he is currently engaged in re-listing Glasgow‘s architecture.


I Lecture: Women In China Lecture Theatre. National Museum ofScotland. Chambers Street. Edinburgh. 225 7534 ext 219. 12.45—1 .30pm. Free. Elsie Collier gives the penultimate lecture in the Year ofthe Snake series.

I Well Woman Centre: Gestalt St Brides Community Centre. Orwell Terrace. Edinburgh. 337 5543. 7.30—9.30pm. Free. Sheena MacLaughlin leads a discussion on the theory and application of Gestalt.


I Edinburgh Bisexual Group: Independence and Relationships- How Do We Find A Balance That's Right For Us? Lesbian & Gay Centre, 58a Broughton Street. Edinburgh. 557 3620. 7.30—9.30pm. Free. This week‘s meeting covers a subject most heterosexuals have tussled with at some stage. Call in and talk about it.

I Well Woman Centre Video: You Have Struck a Rock St Brides Community Centre. Orwell Terrace. Edinburgh. 337 5543. 7.30-9.30pm. Free. 9.30am—noon. A film by Ntombi Hadbe about women in South Africa. All women welcome.


‘When the red nose idea lirst came up, nobody ever imagined it would turn out like this’, says Judy Graham, UK grants administrator lor Charity Projects, the serious lundraisers behind all the larking about. Jane Tewson, Charity Projects founder, and Richard Curtis, scriptwriter tor Blackadder, set up Comic Reliel alter a visit to Sudan and Ethiopia in 1985. A iew hundred tons of red plastic and perspiration later, the success at Comic Reliel has exceeded all expectations. Red Nose Day 1988 alone raised the monumental sum at 215.8 million-which is all the reason needed lorthe repeat periormance this year on March 10th with a 7 hour TV event, the release of the single Help, a Comic Reliel Revue book and over 50-100,000 individual fund-raising events up and down the country.

TV comedy celebrities have proved a potent force in getting the British public to dig deeper into their pockets —the experience at seeing documentary footage of a Lenny Henry or 3 Billy Connolly in poverty-stricken African villages, without the jokes and the grins, is a peculiarly sobering one.

Yet the ‘alternative comedy' image associated with Comic Reliel does have its drawbacks - last week vour


A random selection 01 RED NOSE DAY EVENTS amongst the many thousands of activites taking place on March 101h, ranging from utterly ridiculous to the utterly insane.



I Biggest Red Rose in The Land University ofGlasgow Students Union. University Avenue. All day. Glasgow University students are attempting to create Scotland's largest Red Nose out ofred ballons and an extremely large net on top ofthe Union building.

I Sponsored Flan Throwing Stakis Ingram Hotel. Ingram Street. All day. MsT McCloskey will be sitting in 15 gallonsof trifle and invites all and sundry to hurl flans at her for £1 a throw.

I Aquatic Candlelit Dinner The Sauciehall Centre 12—3pm. The entire management will be served a five course dinner ~seated in the Centre’s pool with some of the cast of Godspell in attendance. Dress is strictly formal.

I Sponsored Trolley Push 8&0 Superstore. Heathfield Road. Ayr. 9am onwards. 8&0 staffwill be takingtime out to cause traffic mayhem starting from their Ayr store and ending up somewhere in Glasgow or the Firth of Clyde if they've got those duff trolleys that only go to the left.

I The Funny Farm Princes Square 12.30-2pm and 7—8.30pm and at Jordanhill College Bar 8—11pm. Glasgow‘s comedy co-operative among whose ranks feature the unlikely Barky Barky. Boris Vesta and Stu Who? host a crucial comedy line-up.

I Sponsored Pasta Binge Strathclyde

roving reporter overheard in an Edinburgh pub the declaration ‘I'm not giving anything to Comic Reliel, it all goes to Alrican revolutionary regimes.‘ With an audible groan, Judy Graham points out that all Comic Reliel money spent in Africa is channelled through the experienced hands at Dxtam and Save The Children. ‘There are a lot 01 wars going on in these areas—these agencies are very careful to make sure that aid reaches their victims and not the regimes.’

Perhaps at even greater signilicance is the tact that last year 20% 01 Comic Relief tunds were spent directly on projects dealing with disability, homelessness and drug and alcohol abuse in the UK-and this year one third of the money raised will remain here. Well aware oi the damage done by bad or simply misinlormed publicity about money getting ‘lost’ in the corridors of bureaucracy, Charity Projects maintain lull sponsorship ol administration costs, lrom office space

to teabags and paperclips, to ensure that every penny raised reaches its target.

Graham emphasizes that the whole ethos of Charity Projects is to lund groups working to promote sell-sufficiency and projects that might be less emotive to other donors. In 1988, aid schemes in Scotland received more than £250,0001rom the organisation, ranging lrom Speyside Handicapped Trust in Aviemore to Edinburgh’s Bridges Project lorthe young homeless and the District Council's campaign tor the prevention 01 alcohol abuse. On top at that, it's worth remembering that Save the Children itsell has initiated projects not only in Alrica but rather closerto home in areas such as Muirhouse. (Simon Bayly)

Donations can be made to Comic Reliel in the following ways:

1. By Credit Card on the night ol Friday 10 March. The numberwill be released by the BBC during the evening.

2. By sending a cheque or postal order (payable to ‘Comic Reliel '89') to: Comic Reliel '89,

Peat Marwick McLintoch, PO Box 78, London EC4Y 8A8.

3. Through all major banks and building societies.

4. At branches at Dxtam and Save The Children.

University Union. 90 John Street 2pm. A bash at the world record for pasta-eating followed by the obligatory ‘students-get-thoroughly-intoxicated-for -a-good—cause' drinking event in the form of a ‘boat race’.

I Square Scrub George Square 2pm. Lynda Smith and Lorna Meek get down on their hands and knees for 2 hours worth of the ultimate challenge in clean-upjobs.

I Pyramid Building 144 Field Ambulance. 122 Hotspur Street. Not just your average pyramids either these will be constructed out of 100’}? pure carrot.


I Burtons Menswear 3t) Princes Street. Edinburgh and 245 Sauchiehall Street. Glasgow 9am—5.30pm. The Burtons Group is a major Comic Reliefsponsor and both stores will be in party mode all day with music. DJs. face painting and lots of fairground type attractions. Edinburgh branch has several local bands. an auction of autographed Hibs and Hearts footballs. Wet Wet Wet and Big Country T shirts. various popalbums and a special appearance by Then Jericho. who will sign autographs for a donation. The Glasgow store has similar goings-on. a raffle every 20 minutes and autograph signing by members ofNaked Video and City Lights.

I Canteen stall dressed as fruit and veg at Pollock Halls of Residence in Edinburgh will refuse cutlery to anyone not makinga donation a suitably apt way to contribute to famine relief.

I EUSA Centenary Party Teviot Row Students Union. Bristo Square. Edinburgh. 8pm. Edinburgh University Students Association celebrates 100years and present their Deputy President donating his silken locks in a sponsored headshave.

I Andrew and Tim Third aged 12 and 9. will be shouting ‘We love Rangers‘ up and down Portobello High Street. before eating soup with a knife and fork. As football fans will understand. this isa potentially suicidal way to raise money and thus stands as a supreme act of selfless heroism. mainly because the

Third Bros. are in fact ardent Hearts supporters.

I Sponsored Sleepover The Body Shop. Waverley Market. 9am onwards. Trish. Dione. Lee. Sara. Val. Karen and the rest of the sales staff will be opening up still wearing their ‘jammies. slippers. rollers rags and face packs.‘

I Body Painting Suzanne Carroll of Dalkieth says ‘1 will paint spots on my body and take donations for guesses to how many there are and the winner getsa box of chocolates my mum will buy.‘This is the stuff which Comic Relief is made

I Silly things at break Craigmount High School. Craigs Road. Costorphine. 1100 pupils are being encouraged to do really silly things and make money out of it in their morning break - which means they won‘t have to break their usual routine. Gary Fleming. aged 1 l . will be gongto school completely covered in bandages. He is not a performance artist.


I Treasure Hunt Loch Lomondside area. Giganticjaunt for 300 people roamin‘ in the glomain' in fancy dress seeking a golden nose.

I Drpington Rotaract Challenge Rotaract clubs across the nation want people to have lunch in the oddest places possible locations so far proposed include motorway flyovers. under the River Clyde and the top of the Finneston crane.

I Gleam Machine South Muirhead Road. Cumbernauld. 9 March 3pm. Sponsored volunteers in nightwear hoping to survive a trip in an open-topped lorry through a very powerful car wash.

I The Write Stuff Lorna and Paula Wilson and Jane Girvan from Kilmarnock are allowing complete strangers to write their name or a short message on any partof their bodies ‘within reason' for a measly 10p a word. which makes them better value than a telegram.

I Thomas Auld a Sons Ltd 5 Brisbane Street. Greenock. Baking zillions of T-time cakes and biscuits all with Red Nose faces to be sold to the highest bidder.

50 The List 10— 23 March 1989