Greatwartime American bandleader born in Strathclyde shock horror (almost). Landing on the Diary‘s desk is a press release bearing a tairly strange message to the eitect that the leaderotthe Glen Millerorchestra, which is currently touring the country. was born in Greenock. A moment‘s retlection. and a less cursory inspection otthe document, however, reveals that this can not be a relerence to the Great Glen himsell (as Miller would have been called had he been Scots. it only to distinguish him trom Glen Michael.) who is no longer working as a musician. It must theretore be a relerence to that other leaderoi the Glen Miller orchestra, Ray McVay, who is in command now that Miller is unavailable. The Diary can't helpieeling thatthere‘s still something a shade peculiar about this. though.

.-\ man alter the I ist‘s ow ll heart.

I he organisers ol |n\ erness’s l'fiister lestiy al ol ( itiitai' and l’erloi iiiiiig .\rts weie \ ery pleased with tlieiiisel\ es earlier thisyear when they lllztliug‘etl lit pittetll‘c‘ lllc‘ set'\ tees til llic‘ \ ll'Itliisii ( i/L'Cli gtlllitl‘isl Vladimir .‘slikulka tor a week long residency . and they w ere right to be pleased lor this was «(title a coup tor them Imagine then then Iioiror when the Iiden ( ‘oiiit llieatie in lnverness reeeiy ed an international call liom the man a week or two heloie the lesli\ al was due to commence ‘( )h no. hv\ .L‘Hing to cancel at the last moment. \\ lial are we going to do. oh no oh no.‘ they


,1// 1:).7 " ~; :/-/ ?/ <46" / //§ U; f \ f o i. f/ 7:

thought. but \Iikulka's phone call concerned lar more weightv matters than that. ‘l lallo. lam telephoning

toyoti to ask.' he said. ‘how mam \\ liisky tlisltllet‘tes it \\ lIl lie possible

lor me to \ isit in the week ol my

; stay .‘ Iliige siin ol reliel all round.

Ajournalistoithe Diary's acquaintance reports having thelollowing conversation over the telephone last week when. attertailing to getthe phone numberota CouncillorTom Collins (mm the relevant body, she resorted to ringing all ottheTCollinses in the Glasgow phone book. The first call she made was answered by a species or child, which said, as one does, ‘Hello'. ‘Hello,‘ replies our intrepid reporter, ‘l‘m looking lor CouncillorTom Collins. lsthisthe right number.‘ ‘Hold on.‘ says the child, which then shouts out into the distance. ‘Daddy. are you a councillor?‘

-\ third telephone story . Somebody at the \lUIr/(H IIIII(’\ iii ( ilasgow ls tiying toseiid .i tax to the limes I.ip.ittese coirespoiideiil. and wants to ring him tip to mloi'ni him (it Its

. imminent arriy al. ()n dialling the

number gi\ co to her. how e\ er. she is answered by a man who clearly

i spL‘ills'S only Japanese ‘i’uniiy .‘ she

[Robs THE START i COULD race



.AzouND THE SCHOOL... ‘9



GET ON l!.’

thinks. ‘I imagined that the Times correspondent would speak English. but you never can tell these days what with Mr Murdoch and all.‘ It iust so happens that there is in fact someone in the office at that very moment who speaks Japanese. and he is soon persuaded to ring the man tip and tell him that the tax is on its way. A conversation in Japanese then ensues thus: ‘l-lello. l‘m ringing


Publisher Robin Hodge. Editor Sarah llemming.

Allan Hunter. Trevor Johnston. Andrew Burnct. Folk/Jazz Norman Chalmers. Food Julie

from the Sunday Times to tell you that your tax is on its way.‘ ‘Eh'P' ‘l'm ringing from the Sunday Times. Your fax is on its way.‘ ‘What do you mean my tax is on its way?‘ ‘Aren't you expecting a fax'." ‘No.’ ‘Aren‘t you the Times correspondent in Japan.‘ ‘No. I'm not. I‘m a bus driver.‘

Another one at those excellent tourist publications which can‘t be too highly recommended, so we won‘t even try, sings the praises ol Kirkcaldy District in the most glowing terms. A truly beautitul description at the colours ol the passing seasons in the district, which tells ol the way golden autumn, ‘truly the season or mellow lruittulness in Kirkcaldy‘, gives way to winter‘s icy white lingers, only to be succeeded, gasp, by Spring and then Summer brought a tearto the Diary‘s eye, and when that same eye tell upon the banner headline NEW NEW NEW!, over a snippet about the Burntisland Edwardian Fair its heart missed a beat. Recommended reading, and detinitely not to be missed.

Paul Keir.


£28 for 50 issues; i l 5 for

Associate Editor Allan Ilunter. Editorial Assistarts Stuart Bathgale. Andrew Buriiet. Simon Bayly. Design Simon iisterson. Advertising / Circulation .less Barrow. Rhobat Bry n. Sheila Maclean. Classilied Advertising Paul Kinnes. Accounts (ieorgelle Renwick. Typesetting .Io Kennedy. Ilewer 'l‘exi Production Editor Paul Keir. Production Coordinator Mark l-isher. Art Alice Bani. \lark l-isher Books Kristina Woolnough. Classical Music ( ‘arol Main. Dance Alice Bain. Diary Iain (iraiit . Film

Morrice. Sally Stewart. Kids Rene Taylor.

Music Preview Kenny Mathieson. Nightlite Stuart Raiker. Andy (‘rabb, (‘olin Steven. Open Andrew Burnet. Radio Allan Brown. Rock (Edinburgh) Alastair Mabbott. Rock (Glasgow) John Williamson. Sport Stuart Bathgate. Television Alastair Mabbott . Theatre Sarah Ilemming. Mark Fisher. Travel Kristina Woolnough Competitions Mark Fisher. Camera Edinburgh Make-tip Services. Cover George Wyllie: photo Douglas Macgregor Cgver Design

35 issues; £8 for 12 issues; payable to The List Ltd, Send to Edinburgh ()ffice.


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MALcom AND HlS censsmmmnen DECIDED To SHow HIM THE LAVAT oaies


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(The list II April 4 May I‘JSI)