said. Peta Lily. star ofthe new film Il'emly Darling. features on the front cover of the listings section which brings yoti details of where to see Peta’s new film . . . lily‘sagent is unaware. as is I.ily herself. of any film or even of any cinematic ambitions. Perhaps l.ily‘ made the film when asleep. or taken over by aliens. or perhaps a (lop/it'leririger is responsible. ()n the other hand. there may be a more prosaic explanation lurking. a tad red-faced. in the .S'mrspersmi's lidinburgh offices.


There was much hilarity among certain members of'I‘he List staff recently when it was discovered that the media‘buyer (media buyer it. one who places advertisements in the media on behalfof a commercial concern meddi-u-hugger Ail-I devious. shifty. ) for Durex is a man named (‘hris Cumming. Further gales of laughter were occasioned by one wag‘s suggestion that his middle name was probably 'I‘im.

A rock and roll tit-bit. Ace rock reporter Mab was recently chewing the fat with Bruce Findlay, the managerofSimpIe


touring schedulethisyearwhich will keep them away from home for almost the whole time. The reason for this? So thatthey can avoid paying the poll tax, says Findlay.

()ne of the most talked about events of this year's Mayfest has been the Philip ( ilass musical theatre slide—show extr‘ayagari/a /()()(I .-l1'r/i/urii's(iiil/ieer/I It got what might euphernistically be termed a 'mixed reception‘ from the critics. The Diary. too. thought that the show was a bit ofa turkey. but had actually been enjoying it quite a lot tip to the point. 15 minutes into the performance. when the actor proclaimed that an alien spaceship had flown tip his right nostril. Curiously. no reviewer from the Sunday Sport was in attendance. ()ne of those w ho were there. and hated it. was the (iruin/ru/i's .once

Aspecial treatforDiary readers: the worst joke from last Sunday's So You Think You‘re Funny competition at the BSAMD. My pal and me were at the bingo and he won a prize, it was a diving suit, so itwas. He didn‘twant it though, ‘cos he couldn‘t swim, so he took the second prize, a big box of choclates. 0n the way home, lsays to him, I says I think you're stupid taking those chocolates when you could have had the first prize. on he says, it was no . ,- useto me ‘cos I can‘tswim. No, I says, itwasn‘tadiving suit,lsays, ifwasa divan suite. Thankyou Moira Madden, and goodbye.

, 0M Home (#17 M £77 1 1 (W7 W MS

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RX HCZAfifloh lwf. Eff. Gil/agent 0447 S792 2747

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()()PS. ('ongratulations to the Scots/ii'rsoii's Saturday Listings supplement for the excellent way it covered ey ents in Mayfest. The front page of last week’s paper carried a shout for the supplement which featured a photo of the mime artist Peta lily. I‘( )I)A\' I.\' ('( )l.()t 'R. it

McMillan. It seems. in fact. that McMillan was so incensed by what she saw that she became rather agitated and had to be asked to sit still by the gentleman sitting behind her upon pain of being eiected from the theatre.


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