discuss the past ten years in politics. ls Thatcherism on its last legs'.’ is Death‘s party dead‘.’ Was l lowe ever alive'.’

I Murders in the Rue Morgue (Scottish) l2.45—3.25am. Edgar Allan Poe's classic story is being staged at a Paris theatre. but reality. it seems. begins to imitate fiction when some of the actors start getting bumped off. .


I Walkie Talkie (C-l ) SSW 9pm. Muriel Gray and Michael Clark have a quiet chat on the banks of Loch l.otnond.

I The Riddle oi Midnight ( C4) llprtt—lZ.3llttrit. Salman Rushdie retreads ground gone over in his novel .llidntglir's Children in this film. which examineslife in India since independence. See panel.

I A Streetcar Named Desire ( B B( ‘2)

l2. 15—2. lilarn. .\'ot the Brando and Leigh version. but a 1982 TV remake. starrittg Ann-Margret as Blanche Dubois. a Southern belle long past her prime and more than a little unsettled. Made with the approval of author Tennessee Williams


I Arena: Animal Night ( BB(‘2) 7.2(lpm—12.2(lam. A series of short films. including l leathcote Williams' Sacred Elephant. and a live debate on the motion ‘the animal kingdom needs a bill ofrights'. Presented by (iloria the Cat and Sir Alastair the Dog from Spitting ltnage.

I ice Walk (C4) S-Upm. Hundreds. nay thousands. tnay has e tried. but Robert Swan is the only man to have succeeded in walking to both poles. This film depicts his 56-day trek to the North Pole. paying particular attention to the effects on the region of pollution.

I Micki and Maude ( BB(‘l ) S-‘).55pm. 'i‘\' premiere of Blake lidwards' domestic comedy. in which Dudley Moore has to choose between his wife and girlfriend. both of whom becotne pregnant at the same ttrne.

I Tarantula (C4) midnight— l ..‘~ilam. Leo (J. Carroll'has the unenviablc task of tracking down a giant. mutated spider which. for reasons best known to itself. is roaming the desert with evil on its mind and a daft grin on its face. liven the severest arachnophobiac will sleep soundly after this one.

I Buygones ((4) 1.3ti-3um. Victor Lewis Smith presents a compilation of his vignettes from Club X. The book was much better. but some of the items work well on screen.


I The Natural World: Under The Ice( BBQ) 7. 15—8.l)5pm. Breathtaking film ofthe strange creatures who inhabit the world under the Antarctic ice. including fish whose guts have developed anti-freeze. and giant sponges which live for centuries. I Sports Review at the Year( BBCI) 7.15—8.5(lpm. lnstant nostalgia with Desmond Lynam and Steve Rider. including the award of the BBC Sports Personality of the Year trophy. currently held by Steve Davis. It‘s only the year they‘re looking back on. so at least they won‘t get a chance to show Iingland winning the bloody world cup again. IWeird Science ( BB(‘2)<).ti5—iti.35pm. Comedy about two wimpy computer-obsessed adolescents who. inspired by Frankenstein. decide to create the perfect woman. only to get more than they bargained for.

I The Knack. . . And How To Get lt((‘4) Ill—11.40pm.Lust-crazed Michael Caine and innocent Northerner Rita Tushingham are flatmates. to the former’s delight and the latter‘s alarm. in this wilfully wacky 1965 comedy.

I Everyman: Mission To Kill ( BB(‘1) 10.05—10.55an An intriguing documentary about the fundamentalist wing of the Mormon Church - the wing

that still practises polygamy and boasts adherents such as Ervil LeBaron, who. before his death a decade ago. drew upa list of those he wanted killed because they had ‘wronged God' and gave it to his

' family. who have been gleefully bumping

off the named people ever since.


I Scrooge (C-l) 2.3(l—4.(l5pm. The 1951 adaptation of Dickens' Christmas Carol.

I and probably the best. largely by virtue of

the strong cast George Cole. Hermione Baddeley. Michael llordern. and. wittiest of all. Alastair Sim.

I Who Really Killed Cock Robin? (BBCI) 8.30—9pm. Repeat showing for David Attenl‘torough's engrossing depiction of the harsh reality of life for the Christmas card favourites.

I Cracking Up (C4 ) 9— Illpm. The last part of the series depicts Sylvia Pankhurst. the only member of the distinguished suffragette family to be a serious socialist. I National Lampoon's European Vacation (B BCZ) 9— 10.30pm. Second-rate films every night from here on. in the run-upto Christmas. In this one. Eric Idle joins Chevy Chase for some brainless but occasionally amusing holiday fun.


I WargamesiBBc‘l)9.3t)—11.()5pm. Matthew Broderick manages to back his way into the Pentagon computer. and in so doing triggers the process for launching

all-out nuclear war. Routine suspense. but worth watching once.

I Scotspott Special (Scottish) 10.35-11.35. Highlights of the unofficial British championship match at Ibrox between Rangers and Arsenal.


I Heart Beat (C4) lllpm—midnight. Sissy Spacek. Nick Nolte and John Heard arc the eternal triangle in this elegiac. somewhat uncritical biopic of dead beat novelist Jack Kerouac.

I Hallway To Paradise (C4) midnight-lam. The Jesus and Mary Chain are in the studio. and sex godJocky Wilson is at the oche in this week‘s episode of Mr Sinclair's showtime.


I Cammlna, Cammlna (C4) 11.35pm—2.20am. A gleefully iconoclastic account of the trek ofthe three Wise Men, visually impressive if at times as

slow-moving as the camels on which our chums travel. Directed by ErmannoOlmi.

I The Shuttered Room (C4) 12.10-2am. Who can frighten the young married couple more the local thugs or the beast in the attic? And which category does Oliver Reed come under? Enjoyable garbage based on the story by August Derleth and ll.P. Lovecraft.


Julie Morrice listens in to Radio Scotland‘s new health show.

Radio Scotland's new series ‘Wireless Therapy‘ invites listeners to write in with their medical worries which are then discussed on air by a panel of doctors. interested by this new development in public service broadcasting, The List invited readers to write in with their thoughts on the programme. Here we publish a selection of your letters.

l have suffered from blocked-up ears ior some time so I was pleased to hear (although laintly) last Monday‘s ‘Wireless Therapy' panel addressing problems at this type. My pleasure was shortlived as I soon realised that the three doctors intended to treat this painiul subject with some levity. When one physician suggested that the patient with an itchy right ear ‘should get it looked into‘, I turned oil in disgust. Must we sulier this kind oi schoolboy humour from people who should know better?

P.S. Can you tell me, isthe ‘Bite The Wax‘ programme likely to treat this subject more sympathetically7—A. Lug oi Eyemouth.

I am a tan at medical programmes and oi radio phone-ins so I was really pleased to discover Radio Scotland's new series ‘Wireless Therapy‘. Wouldn‘t it be better, though, it people phoned in ratherthan wrote letters so they could describe exactly how and where it hurts? I also think it would be interesting to invite people onto the programme who have had their legs amputated or been in wars and interview them. i hope you will use my

suggestions. lam also a tan oi Rambo and I quite like ‘Blackeyes’. Graeme (8) ol North Berwick.

Amongst the unwelcome effects of

the HIV virus was the spread of the displeasing word ‘condom’ into every corner at society. The choice oi this term by the BBC and the subsequent ousting at such charming euphemisms as French Letter and capote anglaise is simply one obvious example of the linguistic imperialism oi centralised broadcasting. Such power should be used with caution and lam concerned to hear that ‘Wireless Therapy', a programme broadcast at lunchtime on Mondays and repeated at dinnertime on Tuesdays is concerning itseil with subjects which have hitherto been conllned to the nether reaches oi weekly magazines. Are we to understand that gynaecological problems are now deemed suitable as topics lor discussion at mealtimes? Think again, BBC. -A. Girner oi Girvan. lam 71 and have been an avid listener to Radio Scotland for as long as I can remember. I think it was last Wednesday, or, no it must have been Tuesday because I had just been out to get the bins in alter the bucket men had been round, well anyway, I had turned on the wireless hoping to catch the end of Macgregor’s Gathering or maybe that newsreader with the lovely voice, Frank Forbes is it? Well, i must have been a bit late, I’ve noticed that the kitchen clock has been losing time right enough, and I got this new Therapist programme with Gerry Davis instead. l was just giving my hands a heat at the gasiire there when I noticed they were talking about something called Rimbaud’s Disease, lthlnk ltwas, and l remembered that that was what they said I had when I last went to the doctors about this time last year. What a coincidence, I thought, and when i told Mrs Buchan round the corner she said that - Please turn to page 94.










The List 8 21 December 1989 89