l PLANET POP Ex-Rezillo Eugene's tun-loving band play Napoleon’s, Glasgow on 9 Jan. See Rock Listings, page 33.

I FUNNY FARM What's rung with an old joke? Climbing the ladder of success, the Farmers are to appear in a new STV series being iilmed in Jan. See Theatre Preview page 39.



Three whole festive weeks in one bumper fun-packed economy family-sized top-value soar-away List. Below, Ross Parsons (appropriately enough) divulges the winner of The List’s Golden Corn Award, bends Uri Geller’s ear and finds a way to cut down on travelling expenses for Italy 1990.

Customers ofthe Glasgow Film Theatre will next year be fighting over (or not as the case my be) the chance to sit on a Wet seat. For the magnanimous boys from Wet Wet Wet have donated a grand and fifty quid to sponsor three seats in the new cinema. Thus they have joined Dickie Attenborough, Bill Forsyth and David Hayman as paid up supporters ofthe ambitious Film Theatre’s future projects. So far there has not been any indication as to whether they will patronise their seats personally.

The Wets may be less pleased to learn that their name was recently borrowed by the Southern General Hospital‘s Incontinence Support Group, who headed their information leaflet with the group‘s name. No connection implied.

Azad Video are opening what may well be the world’s lirst charity video shop in Glasgow on 11 January. The video library will trade underthe imaginative tltle Charity Video Him (700 Dumbarton Road) and will provide a steady ilow oi Income to a variety ol charities. The support at the major video distributors has already been guaranteed, allowing the top lllms to be oliered, not just old ones which tend to find their way to lnverness, seemingly the Elephant’s graveyard oi the video world. Azad, of course are already well known tor their handouts, recently they began reiusing to charge rental on the film Rain Man, in protest at its simultaneous release lorsale.

Carol Laula is realistic about Glasgow being next year’s You know what. ‘By this time next year everyone will probably be sick and fed up with it.’ She meant, ofcourse, her forthcoming single ‘Standing Proud’ which has been chosen as the Glasgow 1990 song, and will be released on 1 January by Burn One Records.

The song, which will be used in promotional campaigns, apparently took only two hours to write, though Carol is strongly of the opinion that

the best songs are written quickly. Unusually however. for a song specifically commissioned to be about Glasgow 1990. Europe‘s cultural capital does not even get a mention.

A potential rival to the glamour, it not the intrinsic value, oi the World Cup is being provided by the Fringe Film Festival. In a glittering and emotional ceremony next yearthe FFF will be awarding thelrversion oi the Oscars; the Tracles. Thelrstatuettes are, in true Blue Peter lashion, made lrom an attractive nude doll, a plastic cup and some sticky-backed plastic, and hear about the same resemblance to the Hollywood awards as a photo-me booth does to the set at a David Lean epic. However, any new film-maker atthe Festival in 1990 who receives one will doubtless be moved to tears.

Why go to Italy for the World Cup when Italy can come to you? In order to save Scottish football fans the expense of visiting their country an Italian Centre will open in Glasgow next year. Though the Mediterranean style Caffe Qui is already 0an and will provide a sort of decompression chamber for those wishing to acclimatise themselves before making the trek south. the rest ofthe centre will not be finished until the summer of 1990. Just in time for returning Scots who developed a real taste for Italian wine, er, culture.

Uri Geller has warned The List (he was uncannin expecting our phone call) that his Christmas appearance on Des O’Connor's show should provide ‘A few surprises‘. Des, whose reputation as a chat show host was sealed by falling off his chair with sycophantie laughter at his guests‘ reminiscences. will have the renowned bender ease the post Christmas washing-up by encouraging kids all over the country to mutilate their mother‘s cutlery using only brute, I mean psychic, force.

And linally Cyril, and linally Esther, the winner ol the coveted List Golden Corn Award lorthe cornlest line In a pantomime. Despite strong competition lrom perennial iavourltes such as ‘Now when l nod my head you hit itl', our committed reviewers chose the lollowlng lrom Robin Hood at the King’s Theatre Edinburgh: Sherllt: You Robbers, I'll see you all swing lor this! Robin: This is Robin Hood's band not Glenn Miller’s.

Yes, well, congratulations to all concerned.

The List 22 December 1989 11 January 1990 3