I YES, one in live people have heard at me. Sara Pearson, one otAmerica’s best known choreographers. will be pertorrnlng Partners Who Touch. Who Don'tTouch and Other Dances with Patrilt Widrlg. Third Eye Centre. Glasgow. 22—23 May. See Maytest Diary page 21.

I I NEVER wanted to dothis tora livlng. I always wanted to be a lumberjaclt. Goat Island. the Chicago perlorrnance group who retuse to skirt round the deeper. darker side otlite. will he perlorming their acrobatics at Glasgow’s Third Eye Centre. 24—26 May. See Maytest Diary page 21.



It was hot. Too hot to work. Stepping outside it felt like I’d been slapped in the face by a wet flannel. I looked up, and realised I had been. My editor was crouched above the door lashing at me and yelling, ‘Get on with the Shortlist’. So here it is.

THE ENGLISH media keeps pummelling bravely away at the Glasgow hardmen of literature and legend (last Sunday's Media Show). So what‘s their beef? Do they hope to prove that they too are conversant with the language of fisticuffs or are they worried that members ofthe species will hunt them down ifthey don‘t get sufficent tele-time? The only logical and interesting finale to the debate over the deification of the Hardman would be a fifteen-rounder between William ‘Glasgow's similes better’ Mcllvanney and Pat ‘sensitive soul‘ Kane guaranteed to sell out the Kelvin Hall. However, the real missing ingredient in their discussions are the ‘Glasgow Softmen’. These were the people who rose from the back streets of Glasgow thesoftway. In the late 60s. Glaswegians lived in fear of meeting them in bars; they would extort money by threatening to greet openly unless cash was forthcoming, or would reduce surly lumps of barmen to a gibbering mess by promising to redecorate their bars in delicate pastel shades. These little known figures. most ofwhom now live in Milngavie. have also been the subjects ofa literary genre. MrAlfred MA George Friel

Poor Tom Edwin Muir

Scents ofFreedom Nigel Boyle McWalter the Softie Hughie McLovenotwar

Graham Souness Dance Diary Chic Young.

The Medium Sized Man Willie McIlviolence.

Anything by Alasdair Gray.

So, it‘s about time we had a series of lengthy articles and programmes about Glasgow‘s oft-neglected softies.

THE PERFORMANCE Exchange Classes in Glasgow. set up with such foresight at Blackfriars. seem to be offering lessons in the ancient thespian sport of throwing the tantrum. The classes scheduled for 23 and 30 May will be on the subject ‘Why hasn’t the author been to the last five rehearsals and does anyone really care?‘ What do they plan as a follow up? ‘Who does that silly cow in the make-up department think she is anyway?’ and ‘For God‘s sake I'm simply not going on dressed like that Prunella‘?

STRANGE PRESS releases are forever finding their way to our offices. None stranger than one which anounced that Kevin Keegan is to choose his eleven greatest-ever Newcastle United players for Video Collection. So what? Apart from [ht fact that it‘s likely to contain only very old black and white footage (that‘s ifhe doesn‘t include himself). it is hardly an event likely to capture the imagination ofa magazine covering Glasgow and Edinburgh. Unless. ofcourse. he intends to include this season‘s sensation at St James Park Roy Aitken. One season and straight into their all-time top team? Maybe its just Roy‘s perennial 70s hairstyle that appeals to our Kev.

TOWER RECORDS' brand new store in Argyle Street. which opened on 17 May. could well turn out to be a rival late night attraction to kebab shops. The cavernous record store will be open 9am—midnight every day of the year. Thus ifyou‘re stuck on Argyle Street after the pubs close. well you can go and browse among the 10,000 music videos or the four floors of records. So instead of waking up with ‘doner-mouth‘ you can wake up and wonder what all those CDs are doing in your bed.

THEATRE COMPANIES trying to gain access to the Traverse will find things much easier now. The small but perfectly-formed theatre in Edinburgh's Grassmarket had. until recently. an irate lodger Walter. drama critic and pigeon. Twitchers among the staff moved Wall‘s nest to save it from a trampling during ‘get-ins'. Old Walt apparently took exception to this and dive-bombed the visiting companies. Fortunately. he and his family have now flown the nest.

The List 13—31 May 19903