Tom Lappin pulls out a few goodies trom the mixed bag of latest releases.

I ET110mins. Yes. the old Marc Almond look-alike is available legally on tape at long last from 18 June. As ‘Video Man at the Decade‘ Steven Spielberg said ‘lt's about human values. It's aboutthe understanding people have towards one another. It's about compassion and Iove.’ It's also about making a hell at a lot at money. Having grossed over$740 million and reaching more than 350 million people already. the video looks setto become the lirst million sellerby Christmas. with prolits to rival British Telecom. A million pirates weep into their beer. (ClC £9.99)

ITHE NEW AVENGERS: THE EAGLE'S NEST/THE GLADIATORS 105 mins. Camp 70s heroes and heroine reappear on video tormat with two moderately ludicrous adventures. Worth watching to appreciate the dated political premises. 'Evil Russian KGB agent Smiksky. and his powerful team at Russian killers' appearprominently. Gareth Hunt is particularly wooden as Gambit in the days when he was an actor and notiust rhyming slang. (Channel 5 £9.99)


I THE ROLLING STONES: LIVE 1964 19 mins. Yes. )ust19 mins. but worth it (well maybe) it you want to reminisce about a time when Charlie Watts still had his own teeth. and Keith Richards still had atew brain cells. Perlectlytimed to cash in on the ‘Urban Jungle' tour. the tootage is taken lrom a US TV show. lilmed before the problems with swimming pools. (Channel 5 £5.99)



I Hard News (C4) 8.30—9pm. Raymond Snoddy presents the media show that delights in being spiteful about the tabloids. Not a difficult remit by any stretch of the imagination.

I Naked Video (BBCZ) 9~9.30pm. Comedy ranging from the scatological to the even more scatological. from Gregor Fisher. Helen Lederer and company.

I Cheers (C4) 9—9.30pm. In which Sam and Robin indulge in excessively competitive bar sports. Looks set to be one of those classic masculine episodes. I Vic Reeves' Big Night Out (C4)

10.30—1 1pm. Friday night is definitely Channel Four night. Vic Reeves is aiming squarely for the post-pub audience. and indeed his brand of Geordie surrealism doesn‘t work unless you're under the influence of something or other. The ‘man with the stick‘ has to be seen tobe believed.

I Return otthe Seven(BBCl)

11.45pm-l .20am. No. not an SDP reunion. but a follow up to The Magnificent Seven (although Yul Brynner is the only original cast member. which somewhat belies the title).

I Australian Rules Football (C4) 9.25—10.3()am. ‘Rules‘ being the tenuous word in this free-for-all rugby variant from the land oflager and Neighbours. The butch Aussies eschew the padding thought necessary for American Football.

I Calitornia OIlbeat(C4)12.30—1pm. More quirks and foibles from the USA‘s Golden State. This week Wayne Freedman looks at the obsession with self-expression. and the transformation of graffiti from vandalism into art.

I lntemational Tennls (BBCZ) 5-7pm. For those of you who prefer the smaller ball. the latest action from the Queen‘s Club. featuring action from Stefan Edberg. Ivan Lendl and John McEnroe. amongothers. I Takeover Bid (BBC1)7—7.30pm. Bruce Forsyth‘s quiz show in which contestants might or might not include Wallace Mercer and David Duff.

I Scotland v Sweden (BBCI) 7.35—l().45pm. Live coverage of Scotland‘s second World Cup group match. If form is anything to go by the names of Swedish strikers Brolin and Magnusson could be featuring in the long litany of villains in Scottish history. of whom the Costa Rican Cayasso was the latest addition.

I thirtysomething (C4) 9— lllpm. Cheerful stuff as Nancy gets involved with friends at the cancer support group. but causes conflict when she finishes her book drawings without involving Ethan. Naughty. naughty.

I The Big E- The Thmwaway Society (BBCI)11.15-11.40am.Recyclingwaste products is necessary both from an environmental and economic point of view. Chris Baines looks at a practical way of making rubbish useful (something Andy Roxburgh has been trying for years).

I Landward(BBC1)12.30—12.55pm. Ayrshire potato farmers are fighting back against the English domination ofthe spud market. An in-depth look at the suppliers of Scotland‘s staple diet: chips.

I My Fair Lady (BBCl ) 3—5.45pm. A tribute to the late Rex Harrison. with Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle struggling to manage a Cockney accent. Lots of desperately bad songs. but saved by a rather touching rendition of ‘Wouldn‘t It Be Luvverleee‘.


I The Nat King Cole Show (C4) 4.55—5.25pm. Showbiz razzamatazz revisited. with the genuine talent of Cole shining through the glitter. All very dated no doubt but charming nevertheless. as Tony Martin camps it up as special guest. I Visionaries: In Grave Danger of Falling Food (C4) 7—8pm. The first of four documentaries on thinkers whose ideas could change the future profiles Australian designer Bill Mollison. inventor of ‘permaculture'. who claims that modern agriculture. not nuclear leaks. Aids or the greenhouse effect. is the greatest danger to mankind.

I Mastennlnd (BBCI ) 8.35—9. 15pm. The grand final. with contestants answering questions ranging from the lives and works of Cicero to Verdi. The programme comes from the City Chambers in Glasgow although none of the contestants comes from further north than Leeds.

I Heart OlThe Matter(BBC 1)

10.55—1 1.30pm ‘A Question Of Sex‘ is the title for Joan Bakewell‘s film about Caroline Cossey. a glamorous and successful fashion model. who just happens to be a man. Sounds like a Viz story to you? Tune in and hear the full truth.

I Scottish Books (Scottish)

11.45pm—12. 15am. Jenny Brown introduces the round-up of the Scottish literary scene. including a review ofthe new Alasdair Gray. Something Leather.


I Home James (Scottish) 8—8.30pm. Return (although not necessarily by popular demand) of self-styled comedian Jim Davidson as the mouthy chauffeur of the title. Moderately execrable. but worth watching to gain an understanding ofthe thought processes of English football hoohgans

I Design Classics (BBCZ) 8.30-9pm. The Sony Walkman. long may its earphones hiss. is celebrated in this programme. having sold 56 million of the original variety and 150 million copies. Apparently it is a symbol of the introspective ‘me' culture of the 805. and an idea that can be traced back to the Edo civilisation of Japan. Well . . .

I Cutting Edge: Savage Indictment (C4) 9—10pm. This programme follows the trial ofJames Hudson Savage. an Australian Aborigine convicted of murder in the United States. The defence put forward is that Savage himselfwas a victim ofthe enforced assimilation policy which took new-born Aborigine babies from their mothers and placed them with white families- a situation which falls underthe international definition of cultural genocide.

I Panorama (BBC1)9.30—10. 10pm. David Dimbleby interviews Neil Kinnock. who celebrates his 20th year in Parliament. and has a reasonable chance of becoming next Prime Minister. Questions should range from Labour‘s changing image. to the demise of the SDI’. although it seems unlikely that Scotland will get a mention.

i' . ' 3?; I THE FLOWERPOT MEN 62 mins. Bill And Ben ll-The Final Conttict. Well not quite. but this is pretty heavy stult lor the 50s. Alter traternising with the mysterious Weed. and indulging in some water antics with the rub-a-lub song. Bill And Ben speak nothing but gibberish while still managing to deal with some uppity sprouts. Strictly one torthose late-night raves. All together now - llobberdobberlob. (BBC Video £7.99)

I INSPECTOR MORSE II: THE SILENT WORLD OF NICHOLAS 0U|NN100mins. Some at us preterred John Thaw when he was coming on strong with thellares. sideburns and rhyming slang in The Sweeney. but apparently 15 million tune in regularly to the Inspector Morse series. In this one Morse investigates examination irregularities at Oxford (obviously a quiet patch he covers, you never getthe boys in The Bill nicking people lor cheating in their 0 levels). (Video Collection £9.99)

I PAT CASH: TENNIS MY WAY. 60 mins. Wimbledon lever already with advice lrom Iorrnerchampion and unashamed Aussie chauvinist Cash. Takes you step by step throughthe vital lessons, like howto choose a stylish headband etc. (Channel 5 £9.99)

I NANCI GRIFFITH: ONE FAIR SUMMER EVENING. 45 mins. The video at the live album. and pretty line stuff all round. As appealing as the songs themselves are Nanci's easy-going tamin anecdotes that introduce them. This contains mostly older material. more laithlully country than the recent Storms album. recorded live atthe Anderson Fair in Nashville last year. (Channel 5 £9.99)

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