‘Oh I say, magnificent cross-court backhand return and that has surely won the World Cup in this the 119th British Open on the historic Epsom Downs. . .’ Stop dreaming laddie and get on wi’ the Shortlist!

CENTRAL SCOTLAND in almost ways. Some will do anything for a as many cinema seats as central cheap bit of publicity, take the London Shocker! YCS. us brave RAF‘s Reach for the Sky charity: Scottish cinema-goers just can‘t keep they are offering ‘free’ lessons on away from the big screen it‘s looping the loop to prospective official. Two things you didn’t know Douglas Baders, in return for a mere about Scottish cinema-goers: 1. We £120 in sponsorship. A frightening go to the cinema more than anyone thought perhaps, though they will else in the world. 2. Err, that’s it. As allow you eight weeks grace a leading film critic recently put it beforehand, in order to book the ‘You have to shoot Scots to stop lesson and presumably check your them from going to the cinema.‘ will etc. The offer is not open to just Overstating the case? Perhaps. yet anyone and they stress that if you the major distributors seem to agree. suffer from any of the following you With the opening of UCI’S new are exempt: epilepsy, blackouts, 12-screen cinema in Craig Park giddiness. recurrent fainting, _ Edinburgh, only a matter of months schizophrenia, alcohol or drug *‘~'. ; after one opened in East Kilbride. dependency, unusually high blood ,9 I THE Colin Moynlhan the total cinema capacity in central pressure or coronary thrombosis. “WWW 98W. COUNOSV 0I Scotland now stands at around Personally, the mere thought of it "'0 500"“ “tom” 28,523 compared to 31,791 in central induces most of the above. suppone's Assoc'auon London. Maybe that‘s why the re‘s so awaittnetne return otMr . . , 7 mn'mnjarungamhe many English ac‘centsm Glasgow REGIJ LAR READERS may r: 4 . newmm mm "m. open; these days, they re all coming up remember that a few weeks ago we I on many 20. 3" mm here to get a seat at the pictures. alerted the Scottish arts world to a ma" (tonne two story) challenge, one which they have yet page 18. IT’S THE migratory season for to take up. A group ofwell-known Fringe press releases. Thousands of Italian artists are keen to play a the wee buggers begin their flight similar group of Scots at football. At north about this time of year and the time I suggested that Senor already several unusual varieties Pavarotti would be between the have been spotted by twitchers sticks for them, which is in fact the throughout Lothian. The most position he used to occupy to some bizarre one to put down here. so far, : effect in his youth. The team

is from the Mongonies, a group of somehow got hold of a copy in Italy young dancers from Japan. With the and wrote back expressing their precision for which their country is regret that the great tenor would not renowned they stipulate that their be playing, though they still hoped to

f I IHE early reviews . - looking "one tootsvomabm average age IS 20.7 years. ; get a game over here. Any applicants

torntcnracyy NW. “'5 Furthermore, the author ofthc piece 1 should reply 10 The L15"

' Caponein :11: mm itseltjne that they will perform, is described V immediately.

a long term dream otWarren as ‘A member of a group of j

' Beatty lstlnally realised on ex-feminists.’ so what is an ; AND NOW. live from the Dick

: “"“lféd- 8" Fm“ PIN" ex-feminist? Someone who has been i Institute, Kilmarnock. it‘s

page ' transformed, presumably by rational : Exhibition of the Week. This week's

argument, into a male chauvanist Most Exciting Display award goes to

pig? Someone who has given up on the Dick for their 250 Years of

Kilmarnock Bowling Club which contains ‘some objects from the past illustrating the club‘s history.‘ Wood you credit it?

n ‘awareness meetings’ and now hangs 1 out on building sites making lewd

I suggestions as their former

: colleagues strolls by. If so why do

: they want to advertise the fact that


they were one in the first place? 2 PS There's only one Living Craft Centre and they charge £1 .20 at the door. Just in case any of their customers may have been misled by last issue's Shortlist.

Unfortunately we must wait till August to find out.

CHARITIES MOVE in mysterious

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