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The best letter next issue will win a Jose Cuervo tequila T-shirt. Letters, which may be edited for publication. shuld be sent to The List, Old Athenaeum Theatre. 179 Buchanan Street, Glasgow G1 2JZ, or 14 High Street, . Edinburgh, EH1 lTE. And there is still time to enter " our EXTRA SPECIAL COMPETITION: the best i artist’s impression ofwhat our star correspondent David M. Bennie looks like will win a super prize.
I see that in last issue's art listings. the blurb for the ‘Other Glasgows‘ exhibition in Springburn reads ‘There are eighteen more Glasgows in the world. Thankfully none of them are Cultural Capitals.’ Coming from a magazine that derives a lot of its material from the very fact that Glasgow is currently culture capital this seems like shameless bandwagon-jumping — or are you just angling to get an invitation to James Kelman‘s next dinner party? Joe Parrish
You don '1 really think K elrnan would stoop so low as to give dinner parties. doyou?
I fear Euripides P. McKechnie (see last issue‘s Letters page) has misinterpreted my letter. I was not particularly seeking to get free advertising for a venue (which shall remain nameless this time around). rather l was testing my writing talents.
l have indeed considered a career in advertising copywriting but feel unable to match Salman Rushdie‘s famous epithet: ‘naughty but nice‘. Perhaps I should omit the apprenticeship altogether and go straight for fame by writing a controversial novel.
Polwarth Gardens Edinburgh
PS The T-short was nice. but I couldn‘t find the worm at the bottom!
So, according to your film index. the OFT are about to show the new film Dreams by the Japanese director Akira Kurasowa. This is great news! I‘ve long been a fan ofJapanese cinema. and especially ofthe director Akira Kurosawa. Now this new guy Kurasowa is on the scene he may prove a worthy successor to the aged Kurosawa. But I have to ask — are the two Akiras by any chance related?
Winner of th is issue's pedantic proofreading award.
| Wild child
lam the real Dick Tracy. Jay Connolly (aged 5) llyndland Road
Sure/y surreal non -sequitur of the
fortnight, and a worthy winner of the prize for the best letter this issue, two Jose Cuervo tequila slarnmer glasses.
l‘m pleased to report that Baby Albert‘s ‘Not Proven‘ party was a great success. Everyone who was invited came. except ior'l'he Syringe. who was held up at Customs on the way back from Thailand. and the arresting officers from Strathclyde‘s Securitate. who were in the huff over this uniquely Scottisi. and utterly nonsensical verdict. which is based on Alice-In- Wonderland logic.
Poor Father Flyte. however. got a wee bit lachrymose after a tumbler of Fat Saul‘s punch (the least potent ingredient of which was my bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila). Since Mo "I‘hirty Pieces ()fSilver‘ Johnston was converted into a Hun on the road to Paradise. his faith has been shakier than that ofFather Karras in the closing scenes of The Exorcist.
In the spirit ofglasnost and the Anglo-Irish Agreement. the Knoxes and the Boynes were invited up from downstairs, but after a few cans of Kestrel John K. and Billy B. inflated a Red Hand oflllster and went around pointing it at people. claiming it was a 'Fenian detector‘. (iod. Protestant humour. don‘t ya just love it‘.’ I can't comment on events thereafter since they‘re sub judit'e.
I forced myself to watch Byline: Hard Lives. [impty Days on BBCl. presented by ex-convict Jimmy Boyle. The Sunday Titties TV Guide quoted Boyle as saying. and he repealed it in a smug, self-pitying whine to camera: "I'he desire to be a gangster cost me my childhood.‘ It goes without saying that it also cost his adult victims grievous harm to their bodies. Still. they couldn‘t sculpt to save theirlives. . . My liberal heart bleeds for you. Mr Boyle. and that‘s without sticking a bread-knife in it! Hey. Jimmy, why don't you sue society‘.’
Finally. I'm really looking forward to the Festival — in particular the Glenlivet Fireworks. the Tattoo. fist fights over parking spaces and late-night-drinking. . . 1 may go the the theatre if it‘s a choice between that and staying in alone on a
Saturday night to watch Thirtysomething. David M. Bennie Haddington Place Edinburgh.
100 The List 1()— 16 August 1990
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