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'l‘he hest letter next issue not written by David M. Bennie will win a bottle ofJose Cuervo tequila. Which swear words will be permitted next time‘.’ To find out.

write to The List. Old Athenaeum Theatre. 179 Buchanan Street. Glasgow 61 ZJZ. or 14 High Street. Edinburgh Elli l'I‘E.

Ad mad l‘neyelopaedia Benmetaniea: Al )\'l.l{'l [SING teont.t: \‘y'hile watching ()nit'ii Ill. fflt' l'i/ia/ t tut/livid l was struck h\ a remarkahle juxtaposition of eottiitieteials. firstly. the Ross l larpe r ady ert with the suspect. who is ohy iottsly as guilty as sin. phoning the tlsl Ill nttmhcr and saying. “l lello. l‘lll ;tl Kiltlttle". liye heeti llllL‘Ll liy' the poliee."lhiswasimmediately lollowed hy the Mclfwans ad. with the released prisoner t ‘.laeko‘ from Bray/i .S'irtn’tt'x ) heing met hy a shady htisinessman in a Rolls Royee the same actor if not the same eharacter) w ho starred seeonds earlier in the Ross l larper classic. ASININl'l'Y: there were two good examples in last issues letters. A) iat'ry Duhl’ier. Why should the Scottish Arts ( ‘ouneil give Buffalo Barry Lollll ( pltts £51! postage allowance. no less)? If there isn‘t a \ iahle market for Buffalo Bill‘s \‘y'ild \\'est Show 15‘" l7 Will which there isn‘t. why the hell should we taxpayerssuhsidise (‘hiefDuhherto w rite a hook on it'.‘ It’s an ineredihly horing suhjeet. of no eoneeiy ahle interest to anyone. and if the literary style of Duhher‘s letters is anything to go hy . any hook he tnanaged to

eohhle together would he appallingly

w rrtten as well. I don‘t know what suhstanees you‘re smoking in your peace pipe. Barry. httt it‘s ohviously at teeting the halanee of your hrain. .\ re you completely tonto‘.‘

B i Stey e Davey. It is indeed your right to have a ridiculous howl haircut. hut it is also the right of us

‘tttidtlle-t‘lass. :llaill-yettt‘-t)ld post—grads. lt‘ I‘itlic‘tllc‘ ll. .\.\ll’l ll'l'l lliA‘l'Rli: I thought The lists y cry own Avril Mair was a hit unfair ahottt my favourite nightcluh. (‘luh lH-Rll'.’ More like ('luh 18-45. 'l'he introduction of ‘trendy‘ nights is not a w eleome development. I like “Its diseo music. Avril. and I‘m sure if you gay e it a ehanee you could too. ('ome along with me one Friday night. leould meet you outside Rutland \o I. [‘1] he wearing my Armani dotrhle—hrcasted. Rolex watch. R;ty'~haris and New West skin seem. We could have a eottple of drinks in Rutland tprirnary—eoloured with wooden parasols stuck in them). then head up Lothian Road ( rernemhe r your handhag to dance around). Afterwards. hack to my place for some (iold Blend and to listen to my Ahha collection (which I‘ve just had transferred onto CD). And lying on my water hed you can see yourself reflected in the ceiling mirror. Hey. can l show a girl a good time or what‘.’

late result jttst eoming through: l‘an Mail 5. Death '1 hreats 3. l)a\id M. Bennie lladdington l’laee lidinhurgh.


I am writing to say that if you ptthlish this in your next issue then I prohahly won‘t he ahle to read it as I am going away on my holidays on Saturday.


llyndland Road Glasgow.

Observation Ahout the letters page ofissue 132 —I suppose you can only print what you

uet. hut what a sad collection of correspondence (with the usual

honourahle exception of course). (‘ould you confirm a sighting of

‘Bennie the Bawl‘ in ()hseri'er

Sent/am! hefore it finished? Namely

a passioned defence of Kylie

Minogue‘s musical and acting

ahility. How many David M.

Bennies can there he‘.’ I‘d het a Jose (‘uervo ’Ilshirt it was the man


It goes without saying I‘m not a fan of the Aussie soap queen. but I am of

Bennie he and Ross Parsons inject

sortie most welcome humour into

your pages. Are there no plans to let Bennie loose at the front of the

magazine‘.’ Kathleen Morgan's profile of Naomi Wolf t author of The Beauty Mth ) was s\ mpathetic and competent. httt added nothing different to the tnassiy c hype surrounding this woman and her hook. Wolf interviewed hy' Bennie would have been an interesting angle. A real ease of Beauty and the Beast‘.’

lain Wilson

(ilencroft Avenue




H 'imzer oft/1e prize for the best letter this issue a Jose ('uerr'o tequila 'lls/zirl.


Your rock section is usually pretty good. hut there is one major omission which becomes more ohvious as the weeks pass: why no interviews with Jefferson Starship. Aerosmith and other similarly inventive American hands'.’ George (irant

Warriston 'I‘errace



The would-he writer in search of funding (Barry Dubber. last issue's letters) should consider spending a year on the Enterprise Allowance Scheme. His Johcentre will supply details ofeligihility criteria.

First. however. I suggest he gets confirmation ofhis talents from a reliahle source. .‘yly three years as a professional writer tutor have shown me that the world is full of misguided individuals who are convinced that they're inspired serihes. The fact that Mr Duhher‘s first sentence contains lttl words doesn‘t exactly inspire confidence. But then perhaps he hopes to write for the Guardian?

(i. Davis Edinhurgh.

Printed hy Scottish (‘ounty l’ress. Sherwood Industrial Estate. Bonnyrigg. Midlothian. Tel: 031 663 2404