Men? Who needs them?

I will pass over the painfully predictable Lynch-bashing aspects of Iain Barbour’s letter (The List 135), and concentrate instead on the painfully predictable potted-feminism aspects.

If David Lynch had wanted to ‘reproduce the power structures’ of society in Twin Peaks, Laura Palmer would have been male - since, as we should all be aware, the overwhelming majority of murder victims are male. It is precisely the unusualness and shock value of the young, beautiful. female murder victim that has always made her the favourite of tabloid editors and movie directors, and which has always raised the outrage of people like Iain Barbour.

Nowadays, ofcourse, the outrage has a veneer ofsimplistic feminism, but the basic values are the same. Young women are highly prized and are to be protected, whereas men’s lives are worthless and can be thrown away in countless amusing ways in Schwarzenegger gore-pics with hardly a peep from the right-on viewing public. I note that the deaths in Blue Velvet for instance, all of men. seem to have escaped Barbour’s attention.

Lynch makes no points either way about sexism in our society, though I note that men and women in his works are very equally grotesque, depraved and victimised (another point missed by Barbour). Lynch rather talks to us about double standards and hidden desires in both sexes. I doubt that he will be diverted from his course by crypto-sexist ‘feminists’ who insist that their moral values be championed in every media event. And thank God for that.

Jamie Andrews Roseneath Terrace Edinburgh '

You win the prize for this issue’s best letter— a bottle oflose C uervo tequila with which to drown your sorrows.

Someone sees sense - neany

How incestuous and cosy - Bennie is now making jokes about people who work in The List office. His smug, self-satisfied outpourings have gone from bad to worse. Why is he given a fortnightly soap box to bore your readership with tales of his unexciting adventures?

Unlike him, his sister would appear very amusing and ‘ideologically sound‘. What is Bennie’s relationship to the Editor?

If readers write in with good ideas for articles. don’t they deserve a reply? Ifyou really vote

There’s no such thing as a free Jose Cuervo tequila T-shirt. But it’s quite easy to get one. Just write the best letter next issue, and send it to The List, 179 Buchanan Street, Glasgow G1 2JZ, or 14 High Street, Edinburgh,

. EH1 ITE.

Conservative. Mr Bennie. please have the honesty to say so clearly. I don‘t suppose you’ll publish this but Bennie is typical of your magazine‘s

‘Look at me. I am so clever‘ persona.

Steven Watts Stirling

Condensed bile

A is for Anton Rogan: the Anti-Christmas. Papal Bull 9. Pink Portfolio 8 (penalty decider). We may have beer-bellies but only in the grossest cases do we have sagging breasts. Unbeatable on red baize. Our semi is against the Happy Hun, whom we eliminated in an earlier round (!!!), but who are now back in because ofa ‘technicality’ on appeal. When the livery ofGlasgow Corporation buses changed from green-white-yellow to orange it was socially significant. A competition for writing under the influence of drugs is a great idea (although Barry Dubber would have to be handicapped in some way). with the winner getting to commit suicide (unless he has a note from a priest excusing him). The J.G. Ballard profile issue was excellent but no name-check for ‘gratuitously nasty‘ author since some of my best friends are librarians and hairdressers; at least the Tracys and Sharons up the Amphitheatre are gynaecologically tooled up. But the crap you have to listen to in order to get laid . . . P. J.‘s Harry’s Bar— Madogs: apexes of the New Town Triangle in which Baby Albert went missing. His three attack-trained Dobermans - Newbridge, Gogar and Maybury (the Hounds of Hell) have been kennelled in his lock-up for over a week. They‘re going mental. Re last Letters page. . . Iain Barbour states

Lynch eroticising death, rape and murder. Well. they turn me on. lain: I don’t want Dr Alex Comfort propped on my pillow or directing my sexual tactics from the bedside. thank you. Amanda Jackson is surely not a fan ofGrant Stott. Where did Radio Forth dig him up hospice radio? Dave Clark must be fairly erudite to quote John Ruskin (although the bowlheads will probably think he is the scion of a baby food manufacturer). Ruskin is my hero the greatest pretentious little git who ever lived (see Modern Painters). Dear fans please don‘t send me perfume-drenched lingerie and condoms (I‘ve no use for them since I lost my tackle in a fcllation accident); send stationery instéad. since all my love affairs are conducted via the Royal Mail. I hope the plague ofpseudo-intellectualism currently raging at the front ofthis magazine doesn‘t spread to the ghetto ofthe Letters page. I may have to introduce quarantine regulations. . . And so to bed. David M. Bennie

lladdington Place


La Dolce Vita

The List is for sale in Napoli for I..-l()()(l (2 pounds?) in a bar by Mergellina Station. We buy it because it is unusual and we love Scotland. We enjoy best “it List. Short List. Film Index. (‘lubs and Personal and Letters.

Antonictta Selmini and

Tina Wertmuller



Small minds think alike Why has my favourite book reviewer disappeared from your Books pages once more? His letters are getting thinner (and ifever I see a man wearing an Indian headress kneeling down before the Big Black Balls on Leith Walk. Iwill bust a gut laughing!) but his book reviews were refreshingly funny and informative. (I am. ofcourse, talking about David M. Bennie.)

On his recommendations, I bought 0n the Golden Porch by 'l‘atyana Tolstoya and Things by Georges Percc— two of the best books I have read this year. There are so many books available to buy and therefore a deluge of book reviewers, thus a distinctive voice in the increasingly congested world of literary criticism (sic) is most welcome.

Incidentally. will his letters eventually come out in a book compilation?

F. Bell East Claremont Street Edinburgh

on Christ! Here we go again

I wasn‘t intending to write in so soon, but having just seen a game of football that was reminiscent of Celtic V Rapid Vienna refereed by David Lynch, I’m inspired to write a short match report:

The fighting boyos of ‘The Papal Bull‘ drew 4-4 with a bunch of rugby reject yuppies from a West End Wine Bar after extra time, and with a sending off on each side I must admit I got quite excited.

My bruised and battered brother scored his penalty. even if it was a miss-hit blooter, and Tizer put the team through to the semis 9-8 after scoring the winning penalty. Tizer proceeded to dive into the Alexandria Park boat pond, followed by all his team-mates. except for David, who chickened out ofan ice-cold bath in November. What a wimp!

A word for Brother David the letters page is all yours. Sister Garfield has gone into hiding.

Lynn G. Bennie Glencorse Street Glasgow

Brain death

I am writing to congratulate you on the piece about the closing down of the Brain Club at Wilkie House. I was so relieved when I saw that you printed the true story. I was there and I was so frustrated, but after reading your article I was a bit calmer as I realised this lets other people know the true facts.

There will be many more problems in this city if the police continue to suppress everything constructive which happens. The Brain Club was one of the best things to happen here in a long time, it’s so infuriating. I go to Glasgow occasionally but otherwise it‘s either walking the streets or just staying in. I know a lot of people feel the same as I do; surprisingly, some ofthem are casuals. I’m not going to stick up for casuals, but where’s the harm in a club which caters for casuals, because at least they’re off the street, and if it’s full ofcasuals, they’re not exactly going to fight each other, are they?

Also, as your article said, everyone was just having a hassle-free night until the police turned up. This is not the first time this has happened, and to my and others’ way of thinking, it is not at all acceptable to stop young people going out and having fun. I have also written to the Chief Constable of Lothian and Borders Police letting him know of my annoyance at this situation. It is potentially dangerous, and ifthe police don’t stop interfering and preventing people from having fun, everybody will riot. Something has to be done about this.

Wendy Howie Edinburgh

100 The List 23 November 6 December 1990

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