Restaurant and Maxie’s Bistro. Available December 8—23, you choose where you want to dine and are guaranteed admittance to the club afterwards. Prices from £15 per head, inclusive. The venue is only available for hire on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but if you want to bring a party on any other night they will arrange for group discounts and can provide a private area.

The Amphitheatre 31 Lothian Road, Edinburgh (031229 7670). Buster Browns Market Street, Edinburgh (031 226 4224). The Choice 21 Royal Exchange Square, Glasgow (04] 221 5323). The Mission Victoria Street, Edinburgh (031225 6569). The Shelter 7Renfrew Court, Glasgow (041332 6231). The Tunnel 84 Mitchell Street, Glasgow (04] 204 1000).


Once the venue has been decided upon, the next thing is invitations. These, however, need not be a problem at all. as there are numerous printers who will design and produce tickets. Glasgow‘s Dittoprint will do as many or as few tickets as you want - at the ridiculously cheap price of£5 for 300. They’ll design them too, for about £5—£10 extra. Kall-Kwik print a minimum of5() tickets for £12.60 plus VAT, rising to £14 for 100

invites. This includes all the design work too. And Prontaprlnt will do a minimum of50 tickets for £24. also including design. Dittoprlnt2/4 Park Circus Place, Glasgow (04] 3312461). Kall-lek 58 Albion Street, Glasgow (04] 552 1597), 2 Dundas Street, Edinburgh

I (031 556 6222). Prontaprlnt 988

5 Pollokshaws Road, Glasgow (04]

6495587), 13 Roseburn Terrace,

l Edinburgh (0313378597).


; A party isn‘t a party without all the

f usual games and novelties hats.

streamers, poppers. indoor

' fireworks, magic tricks. masks and face painting kits. In Glasgow, you‘ll find them all at Tam Shepherd’s Joke Shop, which sells all manner of ‘amusing‘ items to get the laughter flowing, as does The Party Shop. which can even supply ‘adult gifts‘. Theatrical Hires have a great line in decorations. as does Edinburgh‘s The Balloon People’s Party Shop. The Balloon People place their emphasis on originality and can provide advice on all manner ofparty matters. Score Commotions is one of Edinburgh‘s best known sources of party sauce . and can also arrange magicians for kiddies‘ parties, or hire you a bouncy castle for hours ofinflatable fun. Monkey Business will also hire out a huge range of inflatables for between £29 and £79; while you‘re there have




Tel 031 225 3713


; packed with lists of mobile discos 5 who will be more than happy to


How to get one? Drink too much. What to do while getting one? Drink, wear underwear on head, pass out. Where to get one? Head, stomach, legs, all over shirt-front. What to break while getting one? Glasses, turnlture, parole. What to say while getting one? Nothing opening your mouth allows the drink to run down your chin. II it goes up your nose, then you are on the floor and

already well on the way to a cracking hangover. Exceptions can be made

when confronted by a police officer or if

you feel the need to apologise for gross misconduct.

What to do when you have one? Stay in your bed feeling sorry for yourself, stay in someone else's bed feeling sorry foryoursell, stay on the floor and feel sorry for your bed, take the white porcelain mini-bus tor a long drive, swim, eat two pork pies, cover your head with your hands and mumble ‘neveragain', die.

How to get rid of one? Ignore anyone offering you tomato juice, Worcester sauce, raw eggs and whisky— they're just taking the piss, there are only two cures: lrn Bru and lager, in that order.

ya .‘i‘l r I . Pete McCarthy: hangover specialist

Should you take it? If you haven’t had a great night then taking a hangover is

; often considered polite. If your pals are § palid and shaky it is best not to swig

warm lager or pick at pizza remains in

; lront of them. Pretend to be as badly

! aftected as they are, then shock their

i delicate constitutions by downing a

? large neat whisky or smoking tabs off

i the floor. Anyone can realistically fake

a hangover, as Meg Ryan did in When

: Harry Met Sally- in lront of a whole

restaurant. (Ross Parsons)

a look at their fancy dress department - 3 days hire from fill—£19.

The Balloon People's Party Shop Waverley Shopping Centre. Edinburgh ((1315 5 7 463 7). Monkey Business 167 .llorrtson Street. Edinburgh (63/ 22:; 6636). The Party Shop 279 .S‘auehiehall Street. Glasgow (0413323392). Score Commotinns 99 West Bow, Edinburgh (03/ 375 1557). Tam Shepherd’s Joke Shep 33 Queen Street, Glasgow (04/ 22] 2310). Theatrical Hires 152 Park Road, Glasgow (04] 334 4900),

The good ol' Yellow Pages are

provide a complete musical service at your party. offering sound and lighting equipment. professional DJs ' and music to suit most tastes. For something more specialised. most club DJs can probably be persuaded. : with a little financial inducement. to show offtheir turntable talents at your bash. The best idea is to approach someone whose playlist is a rough approximation ofwhat you are looking for. and make them an 5 offer which they can‘t refuse.

In Glasgow. Merlin Discos will send out a DJ. equipment and lightshow I for about £65. E.W. Disco Supplies charge from £50. depending on how late you want to boogie. and Big T Entertainments works out about KID—£25 an hour. depending on distance. Alternately. try Robin Burrowes. who has worked at The Tunnel. The Choice and Fury Murrys, and also has his own equipment he‘ll spin some platters

for you for about £8(l—£l()(l. In Edinburgh. try Jim and Pat Cooke of Ice for indie-dance and house:

: Bootsy of the Dream Team for 70s

disco and funk; or lain Jackson of

Floral Riot for all types ofindie

music. (‘ontact them at their usual

5 club venues. For hire ofequipment

decks. speakers etc. there are remarkably few places in the city to try. but one is Pegasus Sound and

' Light. whose rates vary depending on

exactly what you require.

' Big T Entertainments 627 Pollokshaws 1 Road, Glasgow (04] 423 9426). , w T Bootsy The Amphitheatre.

Burrowes (041 638 87/1). The Cooke

Edinburgh (03/ 329 7670). Robin

Twins Wt/kle House. Edinburgh (03]

; 225 2079). law Disco Supplies (041 639 [093). lain Jackson The Network. Edinburgh (03/ 2283252). Merlin

DISCDS 9.\1t)or(‘ru_/t Road. Glasgow

r041 64/ 9784). Pegasus 23—25 (‘unongtttta Edinburgh (03] 556 i 130(1).


3 Apart from those turtles. this year's j big craze has been for karaoke. A

.4 700 LONESOME amour”



88 The List 7 20 December I990