- I ‘Bozo’s Dead' says

dance-mime artist David Glass in a new show coming

= to Edinburgh and

Cumbernauld. Poor Bozo

f the clown was just too funny . apparently. and was

3 bumped oil by his straight

man brother Pierrot. That‘s

showbiz. See Theatre preview page 45.

I “Listen. you had that

. bloody expenslvelobster

thermidor. and all l had was the cock-a-leekie and some

shortbread. and you want to split the bill 50-50 . . .’


5 ageing spy Sean Connery

f struggling with

post-glasnost espionage and Michelle Pteitter in The Russia House. See Film preview. page 15.




Lies, innuendo, exaggeration and rumour galore . . . but that’s enough about the Gulf War coverage, let’s check what’s in this issue’s Short List.

FOR THOSE Rugby Union fans still depressed about last week‘s cruel result at Twickenham. cheer up. a couple ofenlightened blokes are offering solace, and a decent chance of breaking a few limbs into the bargain. Angus Urquhart and John Boland are attempting to get a team together to play Australian Rules Football. and compete in the British League. (No. we didn't know there was one either).

Those of you who watch Channel 4 at odd hours of the night will appreciate that in Aussie Rules the word ‘Rules‘ could best be described as redundant. There seem to be only three ofthem. viz: 1) Boot the ball

hard. 2) Boot everything else in sight

harder. and 3) No whingeing. The result ofthese liberalities is a game that resembles a small Central American war.

Glaswegians trying to shrug offthe stigma of a year ofculture or Edinburgh trendies. can enlist for this sort oforganised mayhem by contacting Angus on 0506 8711900r John on ()41 332 3323. Games are played during the summer months to avoid a clash with those other wimpy forms of football. so there‘s no excuse not to do battle for your country and erase the memory of that smug grin on Will Carling‘s face.

RED FACES were much in evidence at Edinburgh's Traverse Theatre last week when a large cache ofporno magazines went missing. The magazines were a prop from last year‘s Festival production. Hour Of The Lynx (well that's their story anyway.) Their disappearance was discovered when a party of schoolchildren brought their own scripts along to be read. one ofwhich was a perky little Ortonesque piece calling for a schoolboy to be caught by God while inflagrante delicro with a copy ofFiestu (listen. it happens. . .). The Traverse ransacked their props department for said magazine without joy. and were forced to send a shame-faced director out to buy one. So is this a case of the theatre corrupting our nation‘s youth or vice-versa‘.’ And somewhere. a former Traverse extra is poring gleefully over an illicit stash of ‘props’. Phew. showbiz. it‘s a sordid old profession.

WE WAlTED 800 years for this'.’ department. The ancient. or at least

getting-on-a-bit city of Dundee is. as you probably haven't noticed. celebrating its birthday this year. And in style. The city. once ofjam. jute and journalism. now more commonly associated with cake. corruption and comics. sends us excited news oftheir Easter jamboree. Yes. you can thrill to the Jumping Jax Trampoline Act. gasp at the Zippo clowns jumping over the world's biggest custard pie. and, whisper it in awe. you might even meet the Care Bears. Those of a competititive nature might like to try their hand at the Name Three Famous Dundonians quiz. but be warned. it‘s a toughie.

HOT OFF THE presses is our update on last issue‘s Edinburgh University Rectorial campaign story. Seemingly nominations have closed in the race to occupy the coveted post. formerly held by such luminaries as Malcolm Muggeridge. David Steel. Archie MacPherson and Lou Macari. Fallers on the first circuit include Clive James. Vic Reeves. Kirsty Wark and Ms M Thatcher. who all failed to secure a nomination for one reason or another. Fish (ex of Marillion) bowed out due to the pressures of work. but the final line-up is as follows: novelist and utility man Iain Banks. peace-loving left-winger. Glaswegian MP Maria Fyfc. flamboyant ‘keeper Runrigger Donnie Munro. and hard-clogging Continental sweeper Richard Demarco. a regular loser in past contests. Spare a thought though. for Cerebus the aardvark. whose candidacy was ruled invalid because of his inability to write (no smart comments about Iain Banks. thank you very much).

WE GET SO many invitations to parties here at The List that there are some occasions we are just not quite able to attend. One such that we were particularly disappointed to miss was the Lord Provost of Glasgow's recent presentation to the Amstrad salesman of the year. We would particularly have liked to be there because ofour fondness for their dinky little word-processor thingies. made out of the finest micro-components on an industrial estate in darkest Essex. A magazine would be lost without them. they're very reliable. in fact almost foolé’rf’rSKu ((1 (u dzzz.dzzz.hleeeeb.

The List 22 February 7 pinch 1991 3