It’s time once again to hit the play button and inspect the latest flood of videos heading for your local shops and rental outlets in the next couple of weeks.

I Licence To Kill ( 15) Another two hours of Bond hokum. this time with Timothy Dalton as ()07. After a ruthless (aren’t they all?) drug baron murders a close friends wife. Bond is told in best Quincy style. ‘You‘rc too personally involved. you‘re offthc case.‘ Like any decent gent. Bond refuses to stay out of it and has to seek revenge without the support ofller Majesty‘s Secret Service's devious weaponry department. Dalton is slightly more emotive than Roger Moore. with slightly better diction than Sean Connery. but frankly the formula looks badly worn. and is unlikely to leave you remotely stirred. let alone shaken. (Warner £9.99)

I Codfather- The Epic ( 18) While Godfather [II is appearing ‘at a cinema nearyou‘. parts I and ll are released on video with extra footage. making an approximate seven and a half hours of videotape on three cassettes. There‘s plenty of previously unseen material here for the hardcore Coppola fan. Brando earned the

: plauditsintheoriginal. but A] Pacino’s performance as the cultured son Michael is probably more worthy of praise. De Niro‘s depiction of the young Vito Corleone is typically convincing. Overall a must for serious film fans and gangster-movie buffs alike. (ClC Video £29.99)

I Gremlins 2 (15) Return ofthe furry folk with a tendency to sprout devilish offspring when they get wet. This is gloriously over the top fun. with a Donald Trump figure being on the receiving end ofthe Gremlins‘ mayhem when they take over a high-tech building. Things get a bit dodgy when some ofthe movie in-jokes get out of hand. but generally the comedy is sharp and the special effects impressive. Look out for a cameo appearance by the late John Wayne. not seen on the original cinema release. (Warner Rental)

I l l

Coronary corner

Tom McKean was never quite as good as Peter Elliot. The rugby team couldn’t really be expected to beat the All-Blacks. Even the mountains are but pimples compared to The Alps. But rest assured, there is one thing that Scotland is best at. Scotland’s men and women are top of their respective league tables for coronary heart disease (and that's not just in Britain, but throughout the world). This year, 20,000 Scots will probably die from it.

As part of Channel 4’s Affairs Of The Heart series, Grampian Television have contributed a documentary, ‘Scotland The Grave’, which will explore why Scots are so prone to heart disorders. ProducerTed Brocklebank gives some indication of the traditions which the Health Education Council are up against.

‘It's just a frightening litany of bad diet, smoking and lack of exercise,’ he says. ‘You think of the Outer Hebrides as a place which has a carefree lilestyle; seas full of fish, lots of healthy meat such as mutton and lamb and a way of life which should lend itself to healthy living. In fact, it has one the worst incidences of heart disease in Scotland.’

‘lt’s also particularly bad for women,’ he adds. ‘They used to have to work very hard on the crolts but not any more. We filmed in a fish factory in Stornaway and there wasn’t a single girl in that factory who would actually eat fish. They all lived off pies and chips.’

The glimmer of hope rests in the fact



Cave thoughts on Channel Four

that although Scotland now leads the world, it wasn’t always the case. The Finns used to have an even higher incidence of heart disease than the Scots, but, along with the Americans, they have managed to change their lifestyle through a programme of education. Brocklebank sees the current television campaign featuring various bloated truckies exchanging their plates of fry-up for a salad as too frivolous to have any real impact, and hopes that his more sombre approach will have a greater effect.

‘There's not an awful lot we can do with the adults. If we can get them off smoking that would be great. But let’s maybe forget that generation and really target the kids— explain what is right. They can grow up healthy as long as they get the eating right and keep away from the dreaded smoking.’ (Philip Parr)

Scotland The Grave can be seen on Channel 4 on 7 March, 9.45pm. The Affairs Of The Heart series continues on Thursday evenings.

Media lunches

ll Kingsley Amis wasn’t such a cantankerous old codger, he’d probably be something like his fellow author Keith Waterhouse. Addicted to good lunches, a copious intake of alcohol and hanging around Soho bars with male cronies, Waterhouse would be in serious danger of developing into another Boring Old British Soak were it not for his saving sense of the absurd, and a welcome self-deprecatory streak, which old Kingsley would have been well-advised to borrow for his current collection of spiteful reminiscences.

One aspect of this modesty is Waterhouse’s description of himself as something of a dabbler. ‘I wouldn’t like to be a full-time journalist, a full-time novelist, a full-time dramatist, a

Keith Waterhouse on Arena

full-time scribbler of any sort,’ he says, in an Arena documentary, to be shown on 8802 this week. ‘It would be perilously near to having a proper job and I haven’t had one of those since I was in my twenties.’

Waterhouse is probably best known for creating the two dreamers, Billy Llar and Budgie, although he has also been a regular columnist lorthe Mirror and Mail, and recently wrote the West End hit Jeffrey Bernard ls Unwell, an accurate depiction of the rather sordid lifestyle of the Lowlife columnist. His novels have been accurate indictments of their times; the constricting 60s Northern family of Billy Liar, the late 70s London media hangers-on of Maggie Muggins, and the 80s tabloid mentality of Bimbo, always imbued

with a love of the English language. Not that he takes himself too seriously. Arena’s cameras follow him around as he reports on the Tory and Labour Party conferences in Bournemouth and Blackpool and attends the opening night of his new play Bookends. In the midst of this activity, however, he still finds time to school Jeffrey Bernard in the delicate art of making eggs fly into beer glasses, describes himself as a specialist in work avoidance, and indulges in his hobby of lunch, lunch and more lunch. (Tom Lappin) Arena: Keith Waterhouse. 8802 8 March. 9.30pm.


I I Love You To Oeath(15) A black-comedy melodrama based on the real-life story of Anthony and Frances Toto. Frances discovered her husband was a philanderer. and. perfectly understandably if Kevin Cline‘s portrayal ofthe slob is anythingto go by. tried to murder him. But hey. in true American family style. the fact that his wife had attempted to have him blown up. poisoned. clubbed to death and shot (twice) drew Anthony closer to her. and we get a happy ending. although he does tend to be a little wary about eating his mushrooms. Tracey Ullman plays Frances fairly straight. with Joan Plowright excellent as the conniving mother. but the film still seems faintly preposterous. (RCA/Columbia Rental)

I Risky Business ( 18) Top Gun Tom Cruise regresses rather unfortunately to play Joel. a high school kid obsessed with sex and money. And guess what. his parents are leaving town for a week. This is the cue for all sorts of juvenile pranks and antics a la Porky‘s. Ferris Bucller's Day Off. . .you name it. we‘ve seen it before. Things are a bit raunchier this time around as Joel turns his parents' house into an exclusive brothel. but essentially this is the usual adolescent fantasy comedy. with the only laughable thing being the plot. a lame excuse to revive a series of hackneyed gags. Best leave this one in the rental shop for the lads with their extra-strong lager and take-away curries. (Warner Rental)

I The Rescuers The most succesful animated film of all time when it was released in l977.The Rescuers grossed more than $74 million at the international box-office. It‘s the usual cutesy Disney stuff. the story of two adventurous mice who are called upon to attempt a courageous rescue. Voices are provided by Bob Newhart. Eva Gabor. and the late Geraldine Page. The animation is terrific. the storyline stickily cheerful. and the songs distinctly schmaltzy. (Disney Home Video £12.99)

The List8—21 March 199153