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I ‘Loolr, | asked tor the egg over easy, a side at raw onion, coleslaw instead ot salad, no ice in the soda, real milk instead of haltand hall and hold thetries.‘ James Spader, seen here getting shirty in a dinner jacket, co-stars with Susan Sarandon in White Palace, a cross-class romance set in a St Louis diner. See Film Index, page 18.

I Cross-cultural Highway Code practice: Shobana Jeyasingh‘s dance company, seen here demonstrating the ‘I am going to turn left, reverse down the second alley past the chip shop and pertorm a three-point turn priorto swerving dangerously onto the curb' signal, will be providing instruction in the Govemment’s latest proposals tor road salety as part ofthe Feet Firstdance festival at the Traverse Theatre. See Dance listings. page 53.



‘It’s not the leaving for Liverpool . . .’ whistles our Short

List writer (John Major’s impoverished eighth cousin),

desperately scribbling out a few stories before filling out

that application for the vacant Rangers manager’s post, and cultivating the all-round designer stubble.

MANDELA Theatre Company had first-hand experience of Scottish New Town apathy last week when they rolled into Cumbernauld on the latest leg of their tour. bringing their play. the hard-hitting satire on popular culture Inferno to the masses. Well that was the theory anyway. Unfortunately the masses of What‘s-It-Called'.’ proved more interested in the on-off love-life of Des and Steph Barnes in that evening‘s episode of Coronation Street. The total audience that turned up for the performance at Cumbernauld‘s prosaically named Cumbernauld Theatre reached the grand total of. er. nobody. Zero, zilch,personne so to speak. By some weird coincidence this was the only date of the tour when the Mandela troupe were on a cut of the box-office rather than a fixed fee. and were left without even the wherewithal to purchase a consolation bag ofchicken MacNuggets. They are hoping for a rather more enthusiastic response during their imminent visit to the City ofCulture. Dublin.

IT‘S BEEN A long time since we heard anything new from those shameless bandwagon-jumpers (surer ta/entedfusionists combining indie-rock with a dance sensibility .7 Ed) Glasgow‘s Soup Dragons. Perhaps a short snippet of news that reached us from the US goes some way toexplaining theirinactivity. It seems that lead Soupie Sean Dickson had to be physically removed from Disneyland by Walt’s strongarm security staff for ‘acting in an offensive and insulting fashion towards Goofy'. Whether this involved him singing the chorus of Mother Universe. or something even more heinous, is not made clear.

‘SEE THEY Continentals, I‘ll gie them whit fur. I'll show them where they can stick their bliddy Golan Rose 0‘ Montrose. Comedy is it yir wantin, I‘ll gie youse comedy, I‘ll gie youse bliddy Yuropeen awards ceremonies. . .‘ Yes. he ofthe bandaged head and sherry-fuelled

philosophies is offabroad. BBC

Scotland‘s Rab C. Nesbitt is representing the whole of BBC Comedy at the prestigious Golden Rose of Montreux television festival. BBC light entertainment boss Jim Moir (also the real name ofVic Reeves. fact fans) says ‘This is a unique comedy series and I am delighted that viewers throughout the UK have taken Rab to their hearts so quickly.‘ Whether continental viewers will prove equally enthusiastic seems doubtful, but it‘s nice to know that Rab will be doing his best to restore Glasgow‘s image in Europe, after last year‘s arty nonsense.

IF YOU HAPPEN to be browsing in John Smith‘s bookshop in Vincent Street Glasgow, or James Thin on South Bridge Edinburgh, over the next week or so, don’t be too surprised if a snake or lizard peeks out at you from behind the Mills And Boons. The man to blame will be Trevor Smith, an animal handler (you‘ve seen 4()Mt'nutes. you know these things) who visits these stores on 20 April promoting the Amazing Worlds series ofanimal picture books for children. Our Trevor usually travels in the company of assorted varieties ofsnake, lizard and spider. Let‘s hope none of them creep away into some dark dusty recesses (a pile of remaindered copies of American Psycho perhaps)

to emerge at a later date.

A SEVERE case ofembarrassment afflicted Precious Organisation (Wet Wet Wet‘s minders) boss Elliott Davies when he paid a visit to a hospital radio quiz show. So keen

was Davies to get into the studio and tell the listeners who played bass on Sound Of The Suburbs, that he left the keys sticking out of his pride and joy. a 1961 Silver Corvette Convertible. Fortunately the first person on the scene was a police constable (our British hobbies. dontcha just love ‘em) who took the keys into safe-keeping. When a suitably humbled Davies came to reclaim his property. he was told in

no uncertain terms to he more carefulinfuture.orstartdrivingan l X-reg Fiesta like the rest ofus. J

The List 19 April— 2 May 19913