Yes is the answer

Re T. Murray's letter ( The List 1-14). Ifbands like The (‘lash or Captain Beefheart were to reform and schedule tours that failed to include Scottish dates. would he. like Damian Beagan ( Tlte List 143). put his efforts into shedding light on the matter in The List‘.’ Probably.

It seems Damian Beagan‘s letter was highlighting the wider issue of large bands excluding Scotland from tours (albeit to the (3000 ‘techno-bores‘) rather than forcibly inflicting a personal opinion ofthe music that is involved.

It is also the case that what T. Murray likes is not necessarily good. Opinion is important. but the issue is not one ofpersonal opinion. as T. Murray likes to recommend. but of the wider issue of Scottish exclusion from the tours of bands the size of Anderson. Wakeman. Bruford and Howe. George Michael and others

who. but for the efforts oftheir

Scottish fan—bases. might not normally come here.

As for personal opinion. the answer is simple. You don‘t have to listen if you don't want to hear it.

Al y Barr

Grosvenor Street


Congratulations.’ As our only Correspondent this issue who does not have a product to flog or afamily vendetta in hand. you earn yourself a bottle ofJose ( ‘uert'o tequila. Write back when you 'i’efinished it and tell

i us who you 'd really like to see at the ! bdtnburgh Playhouse.

3 l i

88 The List '-“' \ mil

Rub-a-dub club

lam writing with regard to the ('lubs Listings on the Boom Boom (‘lub at (‘alton Studios. Edinburgh. (‘alton Studios might not have always had a very good reputation. but why not let the new management prove what it can do'.’ I would say they’re making a success of the venue.

Was your man too busy comparing his labels to ours. to notice the ‘family‘ atmosphere'.’ He also mentions nothing about the sound system at (‘alton. the techno and heavy house played by the top DJ in the city. Mr Smith. The List should congratulate the new (.‘alton

management on attracting top acts to

Edinburgh. equalling Glasgost Tunnel.

A suggestion: give the usual pretentious l).ls a miss and ask that innovative DJ. Mr Craig Smith. to contribute to your Turntable section. as I feel he deserves some recognition for what he achieves. (‘hill out a bit and stop running things in ‘our‘ beautiful city down. Wendy Edinburgh Wendy. you We given no details of

2 Way 1991

Send your poetry. puns and promotional material to The List. Old Athenaeum Theatre. 179 Buchanan Street. Glasgow G1 ZJZ. or 14 High Street. Edinburgh. EH1 lTE. The best letter next issue will win aJose Cuervo T-s‘hirt.

MOIRA Nl('()l.

your name or address you wouldn 't happen to know Mr ('raig Smith.

would you." Fort/1e record. our ‘man'

is a woman. and she wrote only two issues ago about the ‘commendable changes" at the ( ‘alton Studios and again last issue. about the exciting all-new club nightfeaturing upfront dance music '. What more do you want."

Stu Why?

I read in The Evening Times that Stu Who'.’ has three-and-a-half hours of material to fall back on. A commendable quantity. especially when compared to the twenty minutes on which many stand-ups from the revered London circuit just as much as Scotland get by for years.

Why then. does Mr Who‘.’ seem to tell the same jokes every time I see him'.’ (‘ould it be that not very much of his three-and-a-half hours'is very funny?



Anothermissit'e with nofull name and address how many minutes of stand-up comedy do you have then. Derek?

Busy line

With reference to your brief piece about British Telecom‘s pernicious policy ofcharging for directory enquiries. I should like to remind your readers that it doesn‘t cost anything to use the service from a

public call-box. Bearing this in mind.

is it not the duty ofevery citizen to

nip into a vacant box two or three times a day and keep the lines busy with spurious calls‘.’ (‘Glasgow number please. Mr] Smith. Dumbarton Road‘ would be a suitable request). lfenough people did this regularly. it might start cutting into BT‘s obscene profit margins. Which reminds me of an old joke. What do BT and a pelican have in common ‘.’ Answer: they can both stick their bills up their arse. T. Duckworth

MacDonald Road

East Kilbride

Don’t like Mondays

There I was. browsing in my local newsagent's. when my eye (accidentally I assure you) strayed to the top shelfand I noticed one of those men‘s magazines featuring a picture spread of‘l lappy Mondays and assorted lovelies.~ Isn‘t it pathetic that we have returned to the bad old days of drug-crazed rock stars cavorting with naked women in their quest for attention. The Happy Mondays are self-confessed drug dealers who make crap atonal records. and yet are constantly fawned upon by music journalists as being the ‘authcntic voice ofthe street‘. .\'ot my street they aren't. Laurie V'ickers



Sate, limp and lifeless There‘s a cosy self-satisfied club operating Edinburgh's leading Fringe venues. They have no interest in promoting innovative theatre. rich


in risks. ideas. energy and uncompromising creativity.

I represent top American phenomenological performance artist Joey Mantoni. (We thought you might - lid.) He hopes to premiere his exciting work So Dark the Light at this year's Festival Fringe. To date. all major venues have refused to consider the incredible rite of passage which is staged in a twenty—foot square flotation tank and fuses psychotherapy. drama and performance art in an eerie and uncannily moving fashion.

Edinburgh used to welcome exciting artistic experiment. It‘s now the Festival of the safe. the limp and the lifeless. It needs to be shocked out of its security and shut down for a year. If the Council hasn‘t got the guts to do it. big money should muscle in. buy up all the time. programme absolutely nothing. and make sure everyone knows why nothing is happening.

I low long before the Assembly Rooms offers a diet of No Sex Please We 're British. ( 'ats. The M ousetrap. a concert by Roger Whittaker. and a premiere ofJeffrey Archer's latest classic'.’

The Fringe is the Festival of the brain-dead. By comparison. the Military Tattoo looks positively radical.

Peter Short Administrator for So Dark the Light London

First verse

About Kane. the poetaster. and his doggerel of last issue ( The List 145) ~— it didn‘t rhyme. scan or even form pretty metrical patterns. lfhe includes the F-word from his pithy. first epistle. I‘m sure he could get a bursary from the SAC. as (iourock‘s writer-in-residence.

Imagine living in Gourock - how naff. David M. Bennie lladdington Place Edinburgh No. it didn 't rhyme or scan. but it was aboutyou. David. and no Letters Page in Scotland is complete without at least one Bennie reference. True to form. we'regoing'lortwo. . .

Mother’s pride

The Fabulous Rotating Bennie Twins used to be the Flying Bennie Triplets. but performing without a net was a false economy.

To set the record straight. they are not a Soap or a Farce. but a Novelty Act. As well as mothering David and Lynn. I manage them with great difficulty.

Mrs E. Bennie

Glencorse Street

Glasgow Yes. yes, and they were probably

i virgin births too. Would any Bennie j cousins like to join in .7

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