My ﬁrst time
Edinburgh's most celebrated nudist. The Naked Man. claims to be good iriends with the Chippendales. The iieal McCoy here gives his lleshtone-tinted account at their first meeting many years ago- in the Sany lleld.
I've always had immense respect tor the Chippendales exotic male dance troupe and lsuppose I always will. But i leel it's only lair that I share with you loyal readers ol The List my lirsl encounter with the lads. 1'
I am at course going back a lew years to the early years at the learn, when lame and iortune was a lot lurther round the corner.l had decided to have a day out in Glasgow. and whilst trudging the dreary streets spotted a garish poster announcing proudly the availability oi male strippers that very evening. Naturally i thought i might be able to make a law new lriends- and I did, butthe long way round!
The venue on that iatelul evening was lar and away lrom the luxurious surroundings ol Edinburgh‘s Usher iiall. It was in tact the homely, cosy yet dangerously unpredictable Saracen's Head bar in Glasgow’s lashionable Barrowland.
Donning my best birthday suit tor the occasion. I arrived at around eight and was greeted with great warmth by a man wearing a balaclava back to tronl. who was being escorted lrorn the saloon lor the ninth time lhatday.
i moved towards the bar. past the regular shadow boxers and a man locked in l a lull-scale debate about
love and marriage with a wall. Gingerly i ordered up
my lirst drink.
Now i said i was going back a lew years and bi course the lads weren't quite as well known. it might have something to do with diltering attitudes back then or maybe because at the time they were known as ‘Blg Bell End Fun‘. Either way, they were certainly taking their time in arriving.
Around nine and several lortitied wines later, they arrived and started manoeuvres. It was all rather strange. Amidst massive hoots, cheers and burps (oi both varieties) lrorn the audience, the lads swung into action - but what action! All i could see wasa gang oi chaps smiling and wiggling at each other in their underpants.
Where was the stripping? The new mates?
This was what I was musing over as l strodeto the microphone and enquired whether they knew when the real strippers were arriving. This particular comment went down very badly I could tell. because the team attacked me immediately. Luckily my live lull years inthe Swiss army was aboutto come into its own. The iollowing live minutes involved me showing the lads a lull range ol innovative sell-detence techniques including running away and leigning death.
Alter my demonstration was up. the lads realised iully the lutility ol violence and immediately invited me to join them on a night out at a nearby Iazer concept dlscolheque, which I accepted. We sorted the whole nasty business out over a selection at large glasses oi Taboo and Mirage.
I still keep in touch with the lads. right up until today. The whole episode clearly demonstrates what We always said: that tile is never what it seems and iriendship can develop trom the strangest ol beginnings.
I Preparing lor action in Glasgow's Argyle Street
The List l-i — 27 June IWI 9