KITCHEN ACTION NUMBER THREE
‘When I get angry in my kitchen, I leeI the need to do something violent in order to release the tension. llind that throwing something is betterthan hitting someone.
‘Once I tried throwing a wine bottle on the lloor- but it made an awlul dent. Another time I threw an old glass tumbler caretully into the corner oi the room, but it took ages to clear up and could have been dangerous. When I hurled an electric typewriter on the ﬂoor, it was very expensive to repair.
‘I think the best throwing action is to take a ripe pear and hurl it against a cupboard door. It’s a good idea to have a practice, just to make sure that you’re going to get it right. I have a run-in at about ten leet and I use an action similarto the one I tried to learn when l was young — that oi bowling a cricket ball overarm. Underarm would be ‘sissy' oI course.
‘I hurl the pear at the opposite wall so that it explodes blam/splat and l SHOUT at the top ol my voice just at the moment at hurling.
‘I choose a cupboard door to throw against because it’s painted with vinyl silk and the pear washes oll more easily than Irom a vinyl matt wall. When I clear up the mess, I check inside the cupboard tor little bits oi pear. I don’t like to see them when they get all brown and dried on.‘
Taken trom Kitchen Show: One Dozen Kitchen Actions Made Public by Bobby Baker.
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