A selection of television highlights. listed by day. in chronological order. Television Listings compiled by Tom Lappin.


I The Insiders: Aberdeen ( BBC!) 7.20—7.5flpm. (iordon Kennedy goesout and about in the Silver (‘ity with localgirl Di ('hristie. riteeting tip with fish filleters artd dancer Michael ('lark. amongothers. I The Scottish Chart Show ( BBU) 7.5(1—8pm. Nicky (‘ampbell introduces the Tartan Top Twenty. running down the rtew Scottish cltart. and featuring the latest chart breakers.

I Anton Mosimann— Naturallyts‘..‘~o—9pm. Anton turns his attentiort toeheese. presumably iitore exotic than Scottish Cheddar.

I Casualtyilsu(‘i)9.3o- Ifl.2(lpnt. Anotlter bloody episode front l lolby (ieneral. with a daft scrap merchant dumping a refrigerator on waste grourtd. lnevitably' a couple of kids decide to hide irt it . . .

I Dream On (Channel 4) 10— 10.35an More TV-related adventures of hapless publisher Martin. in the raurtchy sitcom. Tltirigs get tricky when his latest conquest turns out to be a witch. who grantshim three wishes.

I Omnibus: Don Delillo— The Word. The Image And The Gun (1313(‘1 )

ll).2(L-l l . lflpm. An irtterview witfi the aeclairtted American novelist whose latest work examines the conspiracy surrounding the figure of Kennedy's supposed assassin Lee T larvey ()swald.

I Dr Cyclops ((‘hanrtel 4) 12.35r—2am. ()ne-eyed fun with Albert ‘Black And‘ Dekker as a demented scientist who uses his radium apparatus to reduce people to ntirtiaturc size arid then sets ottt to kill them. Hey. don't knock it till you've tried ll.


I HightTo Reply ((‘hanriel 4)fi.3(L-7pm. Rory McGrath returns to present the viewer feedback show offering the TV audience a chance to take on the programme makers. See preview.

I Kind Hearts And Coronets ((‘hannel 4)

&- 10pm. Beginning a tribute season to the not-dead-yet Alec Guinness. this isa classic Eating black comedy starring the thespian Pure (ienius as eight different characters. all the victints ofthe vengeance-seeking Dennis Price.

I Birds Of A Feather ( BBC) )8. 15—8.45pm. Linda Robson and Pauline Ouirke star as the Chigwell sisters Tracey arid Sharon. Sharon gets a job in a bakers. while lascivious neighbour [)orien enrols in an Open University psychology course.

I The House Of Eliott ( BBC‘t )8—855pm. The Eliott sisters start branchirtgout and taking ntore dressmaking orders. but have problems getting a bank loan. because. cue this week‘s Feminist Message. they're women. Never mind. Christmas 1921 isort its way.


I Buster(Scottish)9.35-l1.20pm. Phil (‘ollitts is in the title role as the loveable Trairt Robber. on the run with Ioadsof dosh and trouble with the missus (Julie Walters). Says a lot about the liriglish abrOad. otherwise a Minder episode with hit singles.

I Saturday Night Clive ( 138(1)

95”- 10.35pm. More global smartasserie front the shiny-headed Antipodean. joined by a special guest of a w ittier nature than Clive.

I Next Step Hollywood: Ray's Male Heterosexual Dance Hall (Channel 4) lit-10.30pm. David Pttttnam introduces the first ofa series ofshort films by young Antericart directors rttade under the aegis of his Discovery Program at Fox Studios. The first film is the Academy Award-winning tale of a lunch hangout for executives with a difference . . .

I Sportscene(BB(‘t)1i).35pm--ll.35pm. Dougie Donnelly introduces highlights of one of the big Premier League clashes.

I The Big Chill (Scottish)

11.20pm» I .leam. The cult precursor to Iliirlvsrmierlimg only not quite so cloyirtg. Tom Berertger and ( ileiin ('lose lead the group of ageing yuppies rcurtited fora friend‘s funeral. looking back at their youthful ideals. and like. opening tip artd sharing. niaaait.


I The Clothes Show ( [313(1)

5.)) --f).25prtt.

Return of the v apid series for fashion victims. presented by Jeff Banks arid (‘aryn Franklin. They start with a report front their Iflitc Model ('ompetitiori where 32 hopefuls aim to prove they’ve got what it takes to be a top model. Leave your brains at the door. please.


I Equinox: The Gambler's Guide To Winning ((‘hartriel 4) 7—-ts’pm. Now this isa programme I‘ve been needing for sortie time. l'sing computer technology. a group of mathematicians ftave devised a foolproof way of beating the bookies and casinos. I'll believe it when I see it.

I Trainer ( BB(‘l ) 7.45—8.35pm. The plush racecourse drama continues with problems for Mike l lardy ( Mark (ireertstreet) when it looks like shady bookies have infiltrated his yard to find out details of his horses' forrtt.

I London's Burning (Scottish) 8.45—9.45pm. The Bliie Watclt team return for more fire-fighting adventures at the London station.

I Screen One: Ex ( BBC) )9254—1 1pm. (iriff Rhstones plays Patrick. a New Man. a caring father and a successful scriptwriter. Unfortunately his romance with a soap opera star (ieraldirie James is undermined by the lurkirtg presence of his ex-wife Penny Dow rtie. These comedies by TV people about TV people tend to be of interest solely to other T\' people. but a useful cast and writer(\\'illiam Humble. who wrote the excellent Hancock )could make this art exception.

I Film On Four: Bearskin (Channel 4)

10—] l .Stlpm. Television premiere of art offbeat tragi-comedy. Two fugitives on the run front hit-men decide. for reasons of their own. to disguise themselves as a Punch And Judy man and a dancing bear. Notable only for the wonderful Tom Waits

as the enigntatic Silva.

I Gardens Of Stone ( BBC‘Z) io—l 1.50pm. James (‘aart stars in Francis Ford (‘oppola's portrait of the home front during \"ietiiam. (‘aan plays a veteran trairting recruits for ceremonial dutiesat military funerals. becoming ittore frequent as the body bags are shipped home. A powerful and original approach to the war. in marked contrast totlte ()liver Stone combatative style.

I The South Bank Sl‘lOW(SL‘titIlsltl 10.35—1 l .35pni. Melvyn Bragg talksto campus novelist David Lodge about his fictional town ‘Runimidge' based on Birmingham.


I Band Explosion (1313(3) n.4or7. lllpiii. A riaff ‘yoof title for a promising live music show featuring the likes of liitastella. Atortt Seed. (‘hapterhouse artd Teenage l-ari (Tub.

I Standing Room Only ( 138(2)

'7. ll) 7.40pm. The alternative football show . presented by Simon ()‘Brieri

I Watchdog ( BB(‘l )7._‘~i) spin. The return of the consumer programme. presented by Lynn Faulth Wood and Joint Stapleton opening with a report on the reliability or otherwise of manufacturers product claims.

I Inspector Morse ((Ttaiinel 4)

3.30 ll)..‘\flpm. More repeated aesthete-orierited sleuthing fromJohii Thaw . der iiig into the mystery of art aristocrat's paintings. closely followed by the disappearance of the aristo himself. Send Morse oii attachment to [lie Iii/liiext series please. that'll make a man of liiiti. ISuperscotstmx‘i )s' 8.31mi“. .lackie Bird introduces more hopefuls iii the

new -look ('aledoiiiart quiz.

I Harry Enfield's Television Programme (BBC?) ll) lfl.3flpm. A repeat run for Harry liiificld's uneven first series featuring a ltost of characters. including The Scousers arid The Slobs.

I Cop ROCHBBCI ) Ill-l lpm. 'l'hissounds terrifieally dreadful or dreadfully terrific. whichever takes your fancy . 'l he legendary Steven Bochco of [Ii/[Siren Blues fame has come up with a cop show that is part opera. part rock concert. part drama. The first story concerns a detectiy e determined to avenge the death of his partner. and involves inordinate amounts of Randy Newman.

I Sport In Ouestion ( Scottish )

10.45 -ll.-15pm. Archie MacPhersori introduces a discussion on a sporting issue of the day.


I Lawyers ((‘hanriel 4 ) fs‘f‘ll 9pm. Another documentary takirtg a fly-on-the— wall approach to covering the varied working lives ofa groupof lawy'ersand their clients. Tonight. Briart Walshstarts the prosecution in a rtturder case. while Philip Rostaiit counsels two men dismissed for drinking at work.

I Without Walls: J'Accuse (( ‘haiinel 4)

9- 9.30pm. The eclectic arts strand opens with one of those iconoclastic rantsagainst a great British institution. (iormless beardie TV critic Mark sort suggests ( ‘ormiurimi Street is unrealistic and paiitts art untrue picture of the North. Well. I'll be blowed. T banks for poiritirtg that out Mark.

I Bottom ( 813(2) 0 -‘)..‘yflpni. (‘rude and rude comedy wuth Rik arid Ade daydreaming of winning a forturte and the disgusting ends they ‘d ptit the money towards.

I The Dreaded Lurgi: Fashion Victims (BB('2)‘)._‘st) ill. lflpiii. Nothingtodo with The ( 'loI/ii's Show . but an examination of patients w ho hay e been

y ictinis of misguided medical trends.

I Making Out ( Btu 'l WM) iiiziipm. ()ueenie ( Margi (Tar kc ) eharaeteristically takes csccption to her gy iiaecologist and decides to go for a natural birth at home,

_-__._L__1__S_T1N‘ 2915mm

I Without Walls: Sindy Hits Thirty ( ( ‘iiannel 4) 9.30- lllpiit. Sandi Toksy ig ( theshort. unbearably smug one front Whose Line Is I! .-Tliy'ivr1y' ) celebrates and satirises the

.‘illth birthday of the Sindy doll. every girl's '

favourite eleven and a half inchesof plastic.

I First Tuesday(Scottish) bluff) ll.4flpm. A report on one of liiirope's greatest financial scandals. whereby billionsof pounds of ltaliart earthquake relief money went missing.


I sixthirtysomething ((‘harinel 4)

(v30 -7pm. A itrt Bry'sori artd Maria Mclirlaiie introduce the irreverent arts arid entertainment strand. talking to ( iary (ilitter arid Michael's little sisterl.atoya Jackson.

I Super Mouse ((Tiariiiel 4).s..‘~ii 9pm. Investigating the private life of the house mouse. ever'yone's favourite grey rodertt. This documentary show s the ntiee to be incurably' inquisitiy e. adaptable. occasionally likeable. but also anti-social. unhygieiiic and very wasteful. Sounds pretty rttuelt like our adv ertisirig staff.

I Points Of View: 30th Anniversary Special fBB(‘l )SSlL-‘lpm. looking backov er three decadesof banality and patronising presenters w ith the latest incarnation. Anne Robinson. See preview .

I Hunrig On The Hock ( Scottish) 5.55—9.5(lpm. Live at Edinburgh ( astle. Scotland's conquering heroes ludieroUs anachronisnischurn out their footstoiitpirig (’aledoiiian ditties.

I The Men’s Room ( 1315c: ) 42.35 If). 15pm. The frank adaptatiort of Ann ()akley 's novel continues with Mark and ('harity (Bill Nighy arid Harriet Walter) gettirtg it on. so tospeak.

I The Golden Girls i ( ‘hartitcl 4) ll) lll.3llpm, Newly-rich Stan is still trying to win back ltisex-w ife Dorothy.

l . " 11"” I Paul Merton: The Series l t ‘iiannel 4) lib?” llpiii. More sketches .iiidskits fr it) the lugubi ioiis comic. plunging into tliewoildot geneticeiigiiieciiiig .iiiddoirie battle with :iiic'lt't‘tiit‘cii.iii

The List 27 Se )tember lil()eto(su- low) 71 l

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