SON OF SHORTLIST
They killed Shortlist but the family lives on. After hiding out for centuries in a remote cave (OK, a saloon bar with pool table and dartboard 1n . Kirkcaldy) , the Son of Shortlist returns to reclaim the family inheritance and continue the dynastic tradition of retelling a lot of crappy stories about minor celebrities.
THE ADVOCATES, that less-than-acclaimed drama from Scottish television returns to your screens kicking and screaming in 1992, and Son of Shortlist has already had a sneak preview of the plot. Apparently a serial killer stalks the streets of Edinburgh killing buskers. Dialogue will presumably be along the lines of ‘Let me take you by the hand and lead you aaaaargggggh.’ The debate begins here as to whether this ‘criminal’ activity merits a police investigation or a reward from the city fathers.
TALKING OF forthcoming TV productions it might be worth investing in that 33ft screen for Mr Robbie Coltrane’s next role, in a BBC Scotland adaptation of the cult comic book character The Bogie Man. Coltrane plays a lunatic under the delusion that he is Humphrey Bogart. Is it just coincidence that the owners of the copyright on the ;character are the quaintly-named Fat Man Press?
AFTER THE NEWS that Manchester Polytechnic students are renaming their Winnie Mandela Union in honour of great political activist and crusader Bruce Forsyth, speculation is rife on possible similar
actions on Scottish campuses. Are we to be regaled with the Rab C. Nesbitt Bar, the Rikki Fulton Seminar Room, or even the Robbie Coltrane Pie, Chips ’n’ Beans canteen?
SHORT STORIES tend to be very po-faced and meaningful, all about social gaffes at Hampstead dinner parties, losing your girlfriend at a Hackney lesbian shindig, or mislaying a sheep on a croft in the Western Isles. Son of Shortlist is therefore pleased to welcome a valuable contribution to the genre from Scottish writer Gordon Legge whose ﬁrst collection includes a tale entitled I Don’t Have Any Friends, But I ’ve GotA Cat Called Napalm Death. Haven’t read it yet but with a title like that it’s bound to be a cracker.
AND FINALLY, a chance at last for the youngster to have a go at winning the prestigious Scottish Artists And Artist Craftsmen Travel Award. According to the press release, ‘an award of £4000 will be granted to an artist under 5 exhibiting at__the he exhibition’, although the invited artists all seem to be somewhat
older. Never mind though, kids. Get those crayons out now.
THOSE DAYS OF ATONEMENT IN FULL
; Well and truly done over by the BCCI, the inhabitants of the Western Isles will spend next Thursday in a Day of Prayer and Humiliation. The List suggests a few other days of atonement that wouldn’t go amiss.
I Sinking Slilp Day: Employees of Mirror Group Newspapers jump into the nearest puddle, bob around for a bit screaming ‘You’re fired!’ and loose off a round of protective writs against each other.
I Raindrops on the Track Day: Everyone who urgently needs to be in Edinburgh (Glasgow) but is currently in Glasgow (Edinburgh) congregates on a windy platform at Falkirk High to observe how Scotrail copes with the oh-so-unexpected ravages of the-Scottish climate.
I Music Maestro Week: The management of the R80 work their way through the entire Wagner Ring Cycle on kazoos, conducted alternately by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jeremy Beadle. I Sports Media Bias Day: Will Carling, Wayne Dooley et al gather in Murrayﬁeld to sing the third verse of Flower of Scotland several thousand times, while Gavin Hastings gets some penalty practice in using Frank Bough’s cardigans
(whether or not Mr Bough is wearing them at the time becomes the subject of a national referendum).
I Canary Pll Year: Everyone called Margaret Hilda has to dig black gold from a coal face three and a half miles under the North Sea with their bare hands and only Tommy Sheridan for company.
I Teach Yourself Satire Day: Lisstake writers put in claims for higher wages (that’s enough Days of Atonement — Ed.)
I Scottish Film Production Fund: The new director of the Scottish Film Production Fund is Kate Swan. former organiser of the Edinburgh Television Festival and producer of award-winning TV movie Play Me Something. Ms Swan takes over the position on 1 Jan 1992 from Penny Thomson, who goes on to become director ofthe Edinburgh Film Festival.
I 330 Dispute: Glasgow‘s Royal Concert Hall was the venue for a rather unusual overture last Saturday night when the public showed its support for Royal Scottish Orchestra musicians and their stance in the current dispute between players and management. Applause resounded around the auditorium from the moment the musicians began to file onto the stage and continued for several minutes. In-fighting over conditions, pay and the general direction the orchestra is taking has been continuing for some time, although preparations are now underway for talks between the two groups. Both Strathclyde Region and Glasgow District Council have stated that they may withdraw future funding commitments if the dispute is not resolved soon. I Communist Party Candidate: Despite the political trend in Eastern Europe, the Communist Party of Great Britain is ‘alive. kicking and growing under its young leadership.‘ according to Tam Dean Burn, prospective parliamentary candidate for Glasgow Central and one of four candidates the Party plans to field at the next General election. Under the banner of ‘a genuine working class alternative’ Burn will contest the seat currently held by Labour‘s Mike Watson, who held onto a comfortable majority in the 1989 by-election following the death of Robert McTaggart. Burn is also appearing in Trilogy by hunger striker Bobby Sands at the Tramway between Thurs 12-Sat 14 December. I Crusald Office: Crusaid, the AIDS ‘charity dedicated to fighting the disease on all fronts. opened its first Scottish office on World AIDS Day, Sun 1 Dec. The office at 8 Frederick Street in Edinburgh will act as a base for the organisations various fundraising initiatives and as a point of reference for volunteers. I Nuclear Handbooks: The Scottish Consumer Council has criticised handbooks containing emergency procedures distributed to people living and working in the vicinity of nuclear power stations. The SCC claims that the information
contained in the handbooks is badly laid out, confusing and not extensive enough, while the basis for ‘emergency planning zones’ varies from station to station — Dounreay covers a three-mile radius, whereas the zone around Torness extends only as far as three kilometres.
I Anti-Racism Gig: Sugar Bullet, 'l‘Fl, Nightstick, Space Monkey Mafia. Zulu Syndicate and a host of local club DJs will be joining forces at Calton Studios on Thurs 12 Dec. This benefit gig for Lothian Campaign Against Racism and Fascism begins at 8pm and tickets (LS/£6) are available from Rainbow Music. Vinyl Villains and Band Parts. Further info from Andy Egan on 031 557 4993.
A L B
I Saltire Awards Short Leeis: Short Ieets for the tenth annual Saltire Society Awards for Scottish Book of the Year and Scottish First Book of the Year were announced yesterday (Wed). Contenders in the former
' category. with a prize of£5000 for
the outright winner, are Janice Galloway‘s Blood. Robin Jenkins‘ Poverty (fast/e, James Kelman‘s The Barn. Maurice Lindsay‘s Collected Poems 1940—1990. Michael Lynch’s Scotland: A New History and Duncan Macmillan’s Scottish Art. Shortlisted books by first time authors (with £1500 prizemoney) are of Elspeth Barker's 0 Caledonia, Elizabeth Burns‘ Ophelia and Other Poems. A.1-. Kennedy‘s Night Geometry and the Garscadden Trains and The Truth of Stone by David Mackenzie. The winners of both categories will be announced in January.
I Homelessness increase: A survey published this week by Shelter has revealed that homelessness in
' Scotland has reached record levels. Last year 34,521 homeless
applications were received from families and single people — an
v increase of 10 per centon the year
before. In 1983. one in 113
households sought help from their
local housing department: that
number increased last year to one in
58 Scottish households. Shelter : estimates that last year
approximately 80 Scottish children
became officially homeless every
working day. ‘This survey is a clear
‘ indication that housing policy in
Scotland is failing a growing section
ofthe population.‘ said Martyn
Evans, Director ofShelter
. (Scotland). ‘Housing must take its ; place alongside health and education
as the top investment priorities for this and any future government.‘
The List6— 19 December 1991 5