I Luciano holds off challenges trom Mel Smith and Mike McShane to win this issue‘s coveted List Gutbucket award. Tune in to his tonsils at the SECC ilyou can dredge up sutticient dosh. See Classical listings.

I Everyone‘s tirst choice when you‘re stucklora Northumbrian piperat short notice, Kathryn Tickell plays Edinburgh St Brides. See Folk listings.

I Sianed Jones goes on the fiddle while Gregory Nash keepsa low protile in Waiting On The Wonton. part at Glasgow's New Moves Dance Festival. See Theatre preview.


I ‘I came secondthough,‘ proudly boasts Mike McShane to sidekick Sandi Toksvig. He is The Big One in a new Channel 4 sitcom. SeeTV listings.

I Lothaire Bluteau (the baddie in Popeye. remember?) goes in lora touch ol sell-llagellation in Black Robe. a kinkylittle tale ot17lh century missionaries. See Film preview.

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‘I have discussed this matter with Leithers and tenants and they couldn't care less about their importance in 1960.‘

Councillor Stei'e Cardownie reckons that the occupants of the higlt rise blocks at L eith Fort don '1 consider their homes to he prime examples of architectural ‘Brutalism '.

‘I refuse to be an unperson.‘ Satanic Verses auth or Salman Rushdie fights back on the third anniversary of the death sentence against him.

"I‘here should be some unease about the nature ofsome ofthe camera angles used in shots of the young women appearing as extras rather than at the heart of the action.‘

The Broadcasting Standards Council takes offense at the content of bikini-clad Baywatch.

‘Ill didn‘t smile. I would probably cry. I have had bigger disappointments and I'll put this down as a learning experience.‘ British speed skater Wil f ( ) 'Reilly shrugs off his Olympic slip-up.

‘One wee lad said: ‘Aye. Mr Broon. MBE stands for Member of the British Establishment. And (BB is even worse it stands for Crawler of the British Establishment."

MP Ron Brown finds an alternative View on the honours list when visiting a crmstituencv school.

'It is like a chainsaw blow to the goolies.‘

Mark Borkawski. PR man for

A rchaos, finds an apt mode of expression for the circus troupe 's bankruptcy and demise.

The List 28 February— 12 March 1992 3