I Edinburgh’s Royal Lyceum excels itsell with a thrilling production at Tankred Dorst's Merlin. See Theatre review.



"Only one Welshman can be a big winner in frightening millions of people, it‘s Anthony Hopkins. Hannibal Kinnock is the greatest serial spender in history, his policies would eat you alive.‘

David Mellor knows a killer metaphor when he sees one. . .

‘He couldn’t run a sweet shop. Imagine Neil counting out the jelly babies, checking that there were the right number ofblack ones. red ones. yellow ones and ones ofevery conceivable sexual orientation.‘

. . . while Norman Tebbit is on hand with something sweeter.

‘Everybody who is born in Scotland, be they Greek. Tasmanian, or the bastard child of an American serviceman. or the tenth child of an Englishman, qualifies to vote in Scotland.‘

Sir Nicholas Fairbairn outlines his vision of a country under the SN P 's supposedly easy-going attitude to Scottish citizenship.

; ‘Cry England, Harry and St George

i when you enter the polling booth

i and vote Tory to preserve the UK.’

I Bernard lngham, former press secretary to Mrs Thatcher, finds a trio ofinfluences that might not strike a

L chord north of the border.

‘I would like to lower all the candidates down by parachute and interview them at the same time, a kind of free-fall interview.‘ Screaming Lord Sutch proposes a more original method of TV election coverage.

The-List 10’; 23 April Mia