Heinous concoction

I must alert my fellow readers to an act against human nature which is being perpetrated in the pages of The List. I refer to the heinous inclusion of ‘cocktails’ without alcohol in the food page of the last edition of The List.

The Virgin Pina Colada is no more a cocktail than I am a fruit juice. It is a fruit crush, an exotic juice, even a despicable sweet and sickly concoction destined for abuse by ailing elder relatives. But it is not and never will be a cocktail. What will you think of next, the Virgin Bloody Mary?

Cocktails have long been the delight of us hedonists intent on early evening oblivion. An honourable line reaches back to the Flappers in their heyday, running past a multitude of posers whose preference has been for one ‘shaken and not stirred’.

The art of cocktail making can be distilled into the twin aims of maximising the cooling quality of the ice used, while minimising its diluting contribution to the alcoholic content. The success of a cocktail depends on its alcoholic content: its ability to smash brain cells whilst leaving the victim standing. A magazine which has a tequila manufacturer as sponsor of its letters page should be aware of that.

Yours, swaying at the bar,

Graham Henderson

Leslie Place


Well, old fruit juice, what ever makes you happy, but we’ll stick to pan-galactic gargleblasters.

Burning rubber

Am I the only reader to be sickened by the endless media hype of motor racing? In the so-called caring nineties, what on earth are we doing with Nigel Mansell’s moustachioed visage staring out at us from every front page proclaiming the virtues of generating massive amounts of noxious pollutants in the shortest possible time. This glorification of noisy, ostentatious destruction of the environment is lavishly funded by the car lobby, petrol companies and tobacco manufacturers who all have

With both Richard J obbo and David Byrne making like the big boys, it could be time to get your aura massaged. If that doesn’t work, we know of a bottle of rather scrumptious Jose Cuervo Special Gold Tequila, lovingly cured in oaken casks, which should hit the spot. All you have to do is write the best letter to The List and the tequila is yours.

vested interests which we should be opposing not supporting.

I think it is time a league against motor sports was started. And come to think of it, why shoud we flatter the activity by calling it a sport? It may require good eyesight, fast reactions, poor hearing and a high boredom threshold but, then, so does playing space invader

However Century 2000 on Lothian Road in Edinburgh seems to be breaking new ground in homophobia. My dance partner and I were ceremoniously frogmarched out of this rather backward establishment last Thursday. I wouldn’t have minded ifwe’d been snogging on the dance floor or conducting illicit drug deals; but we

machines. weren’t.

Helen Balfour Other guys were dancing with each Wilton Street other but pinching girl’s bums (so Glasgow. that must be the secret). Should we

force clubs to state their policy on orientation? I’ve no desire to become militant but a ghetto mentality won’t change anything. Incidently what do straight readers think? It’s bloody ironic that Erasure tops the charts in Abba drag, and we

Tangled web

I was most distressed to read that

homelessness is ‘a big knotty

problem, with a complex root system

sunk deep in our social fabric’ (The get thrown 0m for danCing ‘0 it!

List 178). Still let’s hope you’ve Name and address supplied .0.

started the ball rolling and that it ;~--— - - ~ -. JOSE 4., '0‘

gathers no moss before running a . CUERVI] /

flag up the pole to see who salutes.

The Government has to act now as a If you can arrange to have yourself frogmarched to The List’s offices, a

stitch in time saves spilt milk and

curiosity killed the early bird. bottle of the very wonderful Jose C uervo tequila will be yours.

Mind you I’d rather mix a margarita than a metaphor. So do I win the Tequila or what?

Gary Nelson Brighton Street Edinburgh.

Trash cash

So James Woods’ trash as advertised in The List contains, amongst other things, fourteen glass beer bottles, two glass sauce bottles, two glass vitamin bottles, a stack of newspapers, unused items of clothing and large amounts of plastic. . .

Out on Thursday

I would be interested to know if other gay readers have been thrown out of straight clubs. I’ve been to many straight clubs in my time, danced with other guys and never had any problems.

‘Recycling’. Why the bloody hell do I bother?

Is this meant to be a positive image of. what do you call that stuff. Schuz?!

I might also question. is this the side of American culture The List would most wish to espouse: ‘in America you are what you trash’. Well not in Scotland. Pal.

Not yet anyhow and let’s keep it that way.

Ryan King

Broughton Place


Rumour has it thatJohn Lydon is next in line to get the Schlitz treatment, Ryan. Recycling old rubbish or what?

Open season

Why is The List lending credibility to the Game Conservancy Fair in the Open Listings? To describe the fair as a ‘bizarre mix of the modern and the traditional’ is like calling the Spanish inquisition a bizarre mix of detective work and medicine!

The hunting. shooting and fishing brigade are not, and never have been, about ‘conserving’ game. They are about conserving artificial habitats by destroying indigenous wildlife so that a few wealthy sickos can blast a quarter of a million grouse out of the sky every year. Gillian Cooper Dumbarton Road Glasgow

Post Script

Address your letters to:

The List Letters at:

14 High Street.

Edinburgh El-ll l'I'Ij.


()Id Athenaeum Theatre.

179 Buchanan Street.

Glasgow Gl ZJZ.


Fax them to: 031 557 8500.

We will not prim yourqu address or phone number. but you must include them. Deadline is the Friday before publication. Lon g letters may be cut. The best letter next issue will win a bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila.


All tltatjazz: Metheny, Sheppard and Grappelli in the Festival Ryder on the storm:Winona stars in Night on Earth Miro, Miro on the wall: Spanish surrealism on show

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT ALSO . . . New plays by Iain Heggie and Simon Donald, Tom Cruise in Far and Away, Sausages. Fish, Fay Weldon and 'l‘h' Faith llealers . . .

order your copy now!

76The List l7—30.luly 1992

Printed by Scottish County Press, Sherwood Industrial Estate, Bonnyrigg, Midlothian. Tel: 031 663 2404.