I Tom Cruise models the Jackie Charlton range oi Ieisurewear in his datt new Oirish epic Far And Away. See Film review.

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I Understated ambient swayers Lunachicks advise caution heiore you check out one on theirgigs at Edinburgh Venue and Glasgow King Tut’s.

I Behind you Steve! Steve Feltham spends his entire lite trying to tilm Nessie for Video Diaries on 8862. and now he’s gone and missed her. See TV listings.

I Possibly the nastiest picture everto appear in Frontlines and that's saying something. This man is making sausages. To tind out how see Backlist iood section.

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‘How did Mellor. who is uglier than an aardvark. pick up a girl with such splendid nipples?‘

As usual. the Daily Sport '3 editorial asks those demanding political questions that have been bothering as all.

‘If you don‘t want to appear in the papers. then don't drop your trousers. It‘s as simple as that.‘

The Sun 's caring editor, Kelvin

M ackenzie, passes on advice to help celebrities avoid coverage like that above.

‘When Tom is looking at Nicole. it is very easy for him to remember the first time he really sensed her beauty or her magnetism and I think the same thing is true for Nicole ofTom.‘ Director Ron Howard lists another reason not to bother going to see his Cruise/Kidman vehicle. Far/1nd

A way.

‘They are films that display a dread ofsignificance. a refusal of nuance. an indifference to complexity that is almost shocking and at the same time deeply wonderi‘ul.’

l’onderous film mag Sight And Sound brings weighty analysis to . . . Carry ( )n films I)

‘What would people like me to do when I am invited to dinner with the Queen? Should I say “No. I can‘t because I am working class and anarchist"? I‘d look like a prick. lam any man‘s equal. lsee myselfas equal to Prince Charles.‘

Billy Connolly defends his rights to have friends in high places.

The List 31 July 13 August W92 3