Well Into couch-potato winter, our 22-stone tape reviewer checks out the latest releases packing the video shop shelves.
before you know it, she’s dancing the horizontal jitterbug with everybody from the milkman to that rather quiet couple from over the road. Hubby enjoys watching, the fantasies get more bizarre and everything gets a bit I outofcontrol. (Columbia : Tristar)
I Christmas In Connecticut ;
(U) A romantic comedy
from . . . Arnold
" I ' Schwarzenegger?‘Fraid
so. Arnie‘s directorial
I". 1 debut isstraight outta
I Wayne's World (PG) Excellent! well, sort of OK actually. Penelope Spheeris’s much-hyped cinema extension of the Saturday Night Live sketch nerds spawned catchphrases a-plenty. but as a 90-minute movie it wears its limitations on its sleeve. Wayne (Mike Myers) and his buddy Garth (Dana Carvey) are a couple of metalheads broadcasting an inane public access youth show from their basement. Media bigshot Rob Lowe attempts to exploit them and steal Wayne‘s babe at the same time. Boo hiss. Packed with movie and TV pastiches that interrupt the plot (such as it is) at every opportunity. (CIC)
I The Mambo Klngs(15) Kind of Fabulous Baker Boys meets The Commitments to a conga rhythm. Slight plot involves brothers Armand Assante and the seriously sexy Antonio Banderas squabbling over love interest Cathy Moriarty. If you don’t love Latin, best steer clear. (Warner)
I Animal instincts ( 18) Oo-er missus! More bumping and grinding than you can poke a phallic symbol at in this steamy sex thriller. Joanne and David Cole are a loving couple with sex problems. Her anti-depressant pills turn her into a raving nympho (don’t try this one at home kids, it won’t work) and
sitcomland. Dyan Cannon T plays Elizabeth Blane, a
j TV housewife superstar
, whose family home in
Connecticut is completely
fakedforthecameras. . - HerChristmasspccial _ featuresall-American
hero Kris Kristofferson
lightweight sort of way,
movie executive Grifﬁn
compound the offence ‘ steals the dead man’s
play spot the Hollywood
I The Player (15) Robert ' Altman‘s cynical and
L amusing expose of
; Hollywood mores stars
man ofthe moment Tim
being invited for dinner and romance is inevitable. Half-decent in a
with not a drop of gore in sight. (First Independent)
your gun to town. Another take on the JFK saga, starring Danny Aiello as the fantasy-ridden assassin. John Mackenzie‘s ﬁlm is more of a character study than documentary account with a ﬁne atmosphere and strong performances. (Columbia Tristar)
Robbins as troubled Mill who inadvertantly bumps off a disgruntled screen-writer and to
girlfriend. Film buffs can
star as countless illuminaries pop up as
I Overruled (15) Donna
themselves in assorted
industry parties. Clever
simultaneously, a rare combination. (Guild)
Mills plays Laura Elias, a mother who takes the law into her own hands after
. the man responsible for the murder and rape of her daughter walks free on
a legal technicality. (Odyssey)
f (Columbia Tristar)
t I liolses Oti (PG) (Buena ’ Vista)
I The Original Scottish Karaoke Better believe it. This criminal release
features stock footage of
scenery‘ superimposed with the lyrics to assorted
Caledonian classics like i ‘Donald Where‘s Your
Troosers?‘, ‘I Belong To Glasgow' and ‘Scots Wha Hae‘. The suggestion is that you stick this on after a few drinks and Uncle Hamish breaks up the party rather swiftly. Guaranteed to ruin any family get-together. Other national
.persuasions are catered
for by. . .(Prism£10.99) I The Original English Karaoke (Prism £10.99)
I The Original Irish Karaoke (Prism £10.99)
I Cyberdella A rather hippcr offering from those Prism people is this Rave video featuring sensory
overload visuals and
spiralling shards of light. Increase the effect with the Special FX Spex included with the video.
. Epileptics are advised to
steer well clear. (Prism £12.99)
, I The Nets AtThe Castle
Wet Wet Wet kick upa
j good time at Edinburgh
Castle featuring all the
: hits and choice cuts from
i their ‘comeback‘ LP High On The Happy Side. Ooh Marti we love you, we do. , (Polygram £12.99)
1 IYearOiThe Cun(15) (First Independent £10.99)
I Spot Goes To The Farm And Other Stories (Abbey £8.99)
I On Christmas Eve (Abbey £8.99)
I Pixie And Dixie And Mr Jinks (First Independent £8.99)
A selection at television highlights, listed by day. in chronological order. Television Listings compiled by Tom Lappin.
I Children In lieed (BBC 1 ) 7pm-2am. Another charity extravaganza featuring the usual TV celebs and their hearts of gold. Last year the appeal raised £21 million so it would be churlish to get too cynical. I’m looking forward to seeing election pundit Peter Snow singing ‘I‘m The King Of The Swingers‘ anyway.
I Short Stories: The Comperllueen (Channel 4) 8.30—9pm. A look behind the scenes at fanatical competition entrants and in particular at Rita Smallburn, the queen of the compers. See preview.
I The Face 01 Tutankhamun: The Great Adventure (BBC2) 9L9.SOpm. The ﬁrst ofa ﬁve-part series looking at the greatest archaeological discovery of the century. Professor Christopher Frayling follows in the footsteps of Howard Carter, from rural Norfolk to the Valley of the Kings. I Cheers (Channel 4) 9.30—10pm. Cliff meets the woman of his dreams, but unfortunately she is in Hallowe‘en fancy dress.
I Nurses (Channel 4) 10—10.30pm. Julie’s college boyfriend checks into the hospital and it emerges that he is dying ofAIDS. I Clive Anderson Talks Back (Channel 4) 10.30—1 l . 10pm. The follically-challenged one offers more gags and chat.
I The Word (Channel 4)
11.10pm—12. 10am. Addictively amateurish pop gossip and nonsense with Terry Christian. Dani Behr, Katie Puckrik and Mark Lamarr.
I The Funny Farm (Scottish) 11.10-11.40pm. Fred MacAulay hosts more stand-up comedy, with Harry Hill, Lynn Ferguson, and American magician John Lenahan.
I Breathless (BBC2) 11.20pm—12.50am. Or A Boat De Soufﬂe for all you francophones. Jean-Luc Godard‘s ﬁrst feature is based on a story by Francois Truffaut and stars J can-Paul Belmondo as a murdc rer on the run who recklessly lingers in Paris because of his infatuation
' with an American girl played by Jean Scberg.
I Casualty(BBC1) 8.15—9.05pm. Holby General is in an uproar because of Sandra ; Nichoil‘s disciplinary hearing, while the real culprit, Rob Khalefa, is messing about in a boat.
I High Spirits(BBC1)9.25—11pm. A
half-hearted ghost tale starring Peter
O‘Toole as a skint hotel owner attempting
to persuade American tourist Steve Guttenberg that the place is haunted. The twist is that it really is, by Darryl Hannah of all people.
I Performance: The Doll's House (BBCZ) 9.25—11.40pm. An adaptation oflbsen’s classic play about a repressed wife who is determined to assert herself. Juliet Stevenson, Trevor Eve, Geraldine James
and Patrick Malahide star.
I Trop Belle Pour Toll (Channel 4)
10—1 1.40pm. A somewhat overrated romantic drama starring Gerard
Depardieu as a successful businessman
with a beautiful wife who falls in love with
his dowdy new secretary. Overbiown dialogue and heavy-handed sentiment makes for a cloying 90 minutes or so.
I Delta Force (Scottish)
10.05pm—12.25am. Action, thrills,
violence and ludicrous physiques as Chuck
Norris leads an elite rescue force to sort
I out some pesky hijackers.
I Saturday Night Live (BBCZ) 12.25—lam. More from the cult American live comedy show.
I Football Italia (Channel 4) 1.15—3.30pm. Peter Brackley provides commentary from one of the Serie A derby games, Milan v inter or Torino v J uventus.
I Equinox: The Puzzle or HIV (Channel4) 7-8pm. Using microscopic and computer images, this ﬁlm explores the body‘s immune system, to demonstrate how the : HIV virus leads to AIDS.
I The House Ol Eliott(BBC1) 7.45—8.40pm. Bea and Evie head for America hoping for a Sears Roebuck contract, while scandal still haunts the fashion house in London.
I Funny Business (BBCZ) 8.05—8.55pm. j Rowan Atkinson presents the ﬁrst of a r six-part series exploring all aspects ofthe thing we call comedy. For the ﬁrst programme, he assumes the role of a learned professor lecturing on visual
2 comedy, with examples from the likes of Buster Keaton, John Cleese and Benny Hill. See preview.
I Look At ltThis \vay(BBC1) 9.25—10.25pm. Justin Cartwright has adapted his satirical 80$ novel into a three-part drama serial starring David Dukes, Nathaniel Parker and Kristin Scott Thomas. Dukes plays central character and narrator Tim Curtiz, a minor celebrity who becomes involved with an advertising copywriter and through her with the shifting fabric of 805 London. Surreal, funny and intriguing.
I The Chant OIJlmmy Blacksmith (BBCZ) 10.30pm—12.30am. Director Fred Schepisi's adaptation of Thomas Keneally‘s novel is set in turn-of- the-century Australia, and tells the true story of a half-caste man torn between his aboriginal heritage and his Christian upbringing.
I The iievr Statesman (Scottish) 10.05—10.35pm. The return of Rik Mayall as the libertarian Alan B‘Stard MP in Marks and Gran’s hit-or-miss comedy.
I The South Bank Shovr (Scottish) 10.35—11.35pm. Melvyn Bragg presents a proﬁle of composer Sir Arnold Bax, made by Ken Russell, so expect the facts to be stretched somewhat.
I Doctors To Be: The Flying Doctors (BBC2) 8.10—9pm. The medical students have one last treat before the trauma of ﬁnal exams. Those who can afford it jet off to exotic climes to learn about medicine elsewhere in the world. I Set Back(BBC1) 8.30—9pm. Bankrupt Martin (Ray Winstone) has family problems when his disgusting dad moves back home. €IThe UieAndTlmesOiiienryPratt I (Scottish) 9—10pm. The third part ofan E excellent adaptation of David N obbs‘s Second From Last In The Sack Race. Our Henry arrives at public school and encounters homosexuality for the ﬁrst time. ; : I Cutting Edge: Let hie See MyChildren 5 i (Channel 4) 9—10pm. During a visit to Spain in 1990 Barbara Gregory's two . . children were abducted by herestranged ' husband and she hasn‘t heard from them since. This ﬁlm follows her attempts to ﬁnd them, with the help of a Spanish la er. I Film 92(BBC1) 10.10-10.40pm. Barry Norman investigates Of Mice And Men starring John Malkovich, and the . director‘s cut of Ridley Scott‘s Blade Runner. I CatholicsAnd Sex (Channel 4) 1 1pm—midnight. A new series presented by journalists Kate Saunders and Peter Stanford looking at the Catholic obsession with sex and the arcane rules governing
I every aspect of it. i
The List 20 November — 3 December I993 69