I Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade . (BBCl)3.10-5.10pm.Thethirdinthe Harrison Ford series ropes in Sean Connery as Indie‘s dad. helping out in the I search for the Holy Grail. Alison Doody is ; a Nazi temptress with a similar goal. Plenty of arch humour. I Monsieur Hulot's Holiday (BBC2) 4.50—6.25pm. Seaside slapstick with France‘s answer to Charlie Chaplin (you mean only po-facedfilm critics in berets find him remorer amusing - A Cynic). I The Three Fugitives (Scottish) 7.50-9.40pm. A superior farce starring Nick Nolte and Martin Short as former cell-mates who find themselves on the run with Short‘s mute daughter. Witty characterisation rescues the film from sentimentality.

IThe Fool (Channel 4)8.40—1 1 . 15pm. Christine Edzard‘s characteristically long and painstaking Victorian drama starring Derek Jacobi as a lowly clerk masquerading as a society figure and mocking his hosts. The usual panoply of sound British acting talent supports.

I Dangerous Liaisons (BBC2) $10.55pm. Stephen Frcars‘s lavish reading ofthe 18th-century novel stars John Malkovich as the philanderer Valmont. Glenn Close as his aristocratic co-conspirator and Michelle Pfeiffer as their intended victim. Mannered. nasty and extremely watchable.

I Shirley Valentine (BBCl) 9.50-1 1.35pm. Soapy adaptation ofthe stage hit. retaining Pauline Collins as the repressed Liverpool housewife enjoying a spot of romance in Greece with Tom Conti. but finding all is not retsina and roses in the Aegean either.


I Escape To Victory (BBC1)2. 10—4.()5pm. Coldirz meets March Of The Day in this frankly ridiculous tale of a bunch of POWs escaping under cover of a challenge soccer match. Pele. Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles provide the footwork. Michael Caine the acting. Or is it the otherway round?

I The Sword In The Stone (Scottish) 3.15—4.45pm. A superior Disney animation ofT. H. White‘s tale ofthe young Arthur. guided by Merlin and threatened by the evil Madam Mim.

I Jean De Florette (BBC2) 4.35—6.30pm.

Bucolic French tragedy starring Gerard Depardieu as a farmer hounded out of business by his covetous neighbours. Tasteful and moody if not exactly scintillating.

I Arthur 2: On The Rocks (Scottish) 8.30—10.40pm. Dudley Moore returns as the unappealing lush in a disappointing sequel. With Liza Minnelli.

I When Harry Met Sally (BBCI) 10.05—11.40pm. A surprisingly popular modern romance starring Billy Crystal

and Meg Ryan. memorable mostly for that 1

restaurant simulated orgasm scene.

I The Godfather (Scottish) 11.20pm—1am.

Coppola's classic adaptation of Mario Puzo’s novel stars Marlon Brando as Don Corleone with checks packed with cotton wool. James Caan and Al Pacino are the contrasting sons. Concluded on Sunday 27. .

I Marnie (BBC2) 11.50pm—2am. More timeless Hitchcock with Tippi Hedren as a kleptomaniac exerting a peculiar fascination for Sean Connery.

I Chariots OI Fire (BBCI ) 3-5pm. The Oscar-winning tale of Eric Liddell and Harold Abrahams's triumphs at the 1924 Olympics. crammed full of evocative shots of Edinburgh.

I Manon Des Sources (BBC2)

4.25—6. 15pm. Sequel to Jean De Florette starring Emmanuelle Beart as Jean‘s daughter gaining revenge for the wrongs done to her father. Pastoral tragedy-a-go-go.

I The Field (Scottish) 9.30—1 1 .30pm. Jim Sheridan‘s moody saga stars Richard Harris as Bull McCabe. a stubborn and unapproachable tenant farmer who cracks up when his fallow field is bought by an American (Tom Bercnger) who has plans for development.

I The Fabulous Baker Boys ( BBCZ)

10—1 1 .50pm. Jeff and Beau Bridges are the cabaret musician brothers. Michelle Pfeiffer their hired chanteuse who causes a spot of sibling rivalry for her affections.


I Flash Gordon (Scottish) 4-5pm.

5. 15—6. 15pm. Flash! Saviour ofthe Universe! Queen‘s over—the-top music is the real star ofthis daft (yes!) sci-Ii romp. although look out for Brian Blessed in a pair ofprepostcrous wings.

I YentI (BBC2)4.1()—6.2()pm. Barbra Streisand directs and stars in a dull and self-important tale of a youngJewish woman disguising herself as a boy in order to get an education.

I Twins (BBCI) 7—8.45pm. A buddy movie with a twist as Arnie Schwarzenegger and Danny De Vito discover they are the result of agenetic experiment. and seek revenge. A one-gag comedy stretched to breaking point.

I Pale Hider (Scottish) 1().3()pm—12.4()am. Clint Eastwood is said rider. the Western cliche enigmatic stranger riding into town (as a preacher this time) to save the townsfolk from the local baddies. An atmospheric take on a very old theme.

I The Man With The X-Bay Eyes (BBC2) midnight—1 . 15am. Ray Milland discovers a serum that bestows X-ray vision in a cult classic. Trouble is every time he looks through a woman‘s dress she‘s standing behind a pot plant or something. A cult classic.


I An Officer And A Gentleman (Scottish) 9—10.15. 10.35—1 1 .40pm. Richard Gere and Debra Winger star in an unappealing (and ethically objectionable) romantic weepie about an aspiring pilot whose ideals are gradually eroded. The theme tune is better than the film.

I Gorillas In The Mist(BBC1) 9.30—11.35pm. Sigourney Weaver takes a sabbatical from swatting aliens to star as naturalist Diane Fossey who built up a

relationship with the gorillas of Rwanda. The animal footage is diverting although the human characterisation and plotting are flawed.

I Earth Girls Are Easy (BBC2) 10.25pm—midnight. A kind of intergalactic Porkies with songs. as three furry aliens led by Jeff Goldblum land in California and set about seducing the local babes. Amiably daft (yes! again) stuff.

I The Godtather ll (Scottish)

11.40pm—1 .40am. Coppola‘s superb sequel is actually two films. the first starring Robert De Niro as the young Vito getting involved with the mob in 20s Sicily. the other Al Pacino as Michael Corleone. learning how to give up his wife and be Don in 705 America. Concluded Wednesday 30.


I Bronco Billy(BBC1) 7—8.50pm. An uncharacteristic role for Clint Eastwood as a shoe salesman who makes his fantasy of running a travelling cowboy show come true. Touching and comic.

I Teouila Sunrise (Scottish) 9—10. 15pm. 10.35—11.30pm. Michelle Pfeiffer plays a restaurant owner who becomes embroiled in the conflict between jaded former drugs dealer Mel Gibson and single-minded cop Kurt Russell. Intriguing characterisation is overshadowed by the action-packed second half.

I Married To The Mob ( BBCZ)

9.30—1 1.10pm. Unprepossessing comic thriller from Jonathan Demme starring Michelle Pfeiffer (yet again) as a hit man‘s widow who finds herselfon the run from the mob to a backdrop of hip music and flashy set-pieces.


I Bareloot In The Park (BBC 1) 3.50—5.35pm. One of Neil Simon's less apealing romantic comedies. this stars Robert Redford and Jane Fonda as a newly-wed couple coping with neighbours. in-laws and a squalid flat.

I Down And Out In Beverly Hills (Scottish) 9.55—11.5()pm. Nick Nolte stars as a suicidal hobo who is adopted by a wealthy Beverly Hills family and has no problems adjusting to his change of lifestyle. Rather desperate comedy.

I Monty Python And The Holy Grail ( BBCZ) 10—1 1.30pm. Loony medieval nonsense with the usual gang of suspects romping through an occasionally anachronistic landscape. Look out for those Knights That Go Niiiee.


I Ben Hur(BBC1) 1.55—5.20pm. Splendid Biblical epic with Charlton Heston as the upwardly mobile Jewish kid with a talent for chariot racing. ‘Into the chicane. . !' IA Cry In The Darli(BBC2)8.3(I—10.25pm. Meryl Streep plays the Australian mother ofdubious religious persuasion accused of murdering her baby. but trying to get an innocent dingo to take the rap.

I Terms 0t Endearmenl ( BBCI) ll).1()pm—12.2llam. Oscar-winning performances include Jack Nicholson as the astronaut next door. changing the lives- of mother and daughter Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger. until Winger gets a terminal illness and the film goes into emotional overdrive. Mawkish or moving depending on your cynicism level.

I Ruthless People (Scottish)

ll). 15pm—midnight. An iritating caper movie starring Bette Midler as the harridan wife of murderous Danny De Vito. When she is kidnapped. she connives with her hapless captors to get revenge on De Vito. As loud and unattractive as its stars.

I BIOW Up (BBC2) 11.5(lpm—l .2llam. Antonioni‘s painfully pretentious portrait of swinging 60s London about a photographer whose picture may or may not be evidence of a murder. Best left to ICA pseuds and Sigh! And Sound readers.


A selection of television highlights. listed by day. in chronological order. Television Listings compiled by Tom Lappin.


I The Face OI Tutanlthamun: Heads In The

f Sand (BBC2) 9—9.5(lpm. The five-part

; series looking at the greatest

archaeological discovery of the century examines the exhibits in the Cairo

Museum. After 7(lyears theyare

. crumbling away in their inadequate cases.

I Cheers (Channel 4) 9.30- lllpm. More beers and laughs in the latest seriesfrom the Boston bar.

I Have I Got News ForYou?(BB(‘2) l()—l().3l)pm. The last in the current series ofthe hit panel game with guestsClive Anderson and Alan Coren joining regular

g captains Paul Merton and Ian Ilislop.

I Clive Anderson Talks Back (Channel 4)

10.30—1 l.1llpm. Sprinting hastily from the

BBCZ studio. the follically-challenged one

offers more gags and chat.

IThe Word (ChanneH)

l l.1()pm—12.ll)am. Addictively

amateurish pop gossip and nonsense with Terry Christian. Dani Behr. Katie I’uckrik

and Mark Lamarr.


I Casualty(BB(‘i ) 8. lS—‘).()5pm. llolby General is the scene for more high drama as brooding. sexy surgeon Julian (Nigel Le Vaillant) has to choose between his career and his principles. when he speaks tothe media with his criticisms ofthe management.

I Americana: Dumb (Channel 4)9— l()pm.

Jonathan Ross investigates the bizarre

American way of leisure. from nude

shut‘fleboard to miniature golf beneath a

funeral parlour.

I Performance: Absolute Hell (BBC2)

9.05—1 1.10pm. A repeat from last year's season shown as a tribute to the playwright

Rodney Ackland. who died last

November. Judy Dench plays Christine

Foskett. owner of a club that attracts

i assorted sad Bohemians just after the war.

84 The List 18 December 1992— 14 January 1993

I Tenue De Soiree (Channel 4)

10-1 1.35pm. Gerard Depardieu stars in an outrageous black comedy. playing a macho homosexual villain who drags a quiet couple along on a series ofcrimes and establishes a bizarre menage aa trois.


I Scottish Books (Scottish) 1.1(i—l . Hilpm. Jenny Brown offers suggestions for festive reading and gifts.

I Lile With Eliza (BBC2) 5.45—5.55pm. The first daily dose ofinsufferable Edwardian Ernest. played byJohn Sessions. See preview.

I A Touch 0t Frost (Scottish) 8.15—l(1.15pm. The short seriesof less-than-stunning detective tales concludes. David Jason should perhaps stick to lighter roles.

I The New Statesman (Scottish)

10.35—1 1.05pm. Rik Mayall plays libertarian Alan B'Stard MEI). attempting to rip off another pile of EC cash.

I Funny Business: A Fool‘s Guide To Movie Comedy (BBC2) 1(I.35—-l 1.35pm. An exploration of the secrets ofmovie comedy from initial concept through to premiere. Interviewees include Leslie Nielsen and British directorJonathan Lynn.

I Wish You Were Here (Scottish) . 7—7.3(ipm. Plan next year‘s holiday With assistance from the chirpy reporters. this