week visiting Poland. Wyoming and the Holy Land. I I Television's Greatest Christmas Hits (BBCI)8—9pm. Philip Schofieldtrawls the archives for clips from Yuletide classics.

I Films OI The Year ( BBCI) 10.10-10.4(Ipm. Barry Norman looks back over the highlights of the year. with personal selections including Disney‘s Beauty And The Beast and Woody Allen‘s H asban (is: A ntl Wi res.


I 2 Point 4 Children (BBCI ) s—s. 30pm. A special festive edition of the sitcom that takes its format. but unfortunately not its standard of wit. from American show Roseanne.

IA Question or Sport ( BBCI )s.3().upm. David Coleman. Bill Beaumont and [an Botham are the regulars for the perennial sports quiz.

I Darwin (Channel 4) 9— lllpm. An off-the-wall documentary from Peter Greenaway using tableaux and lush imagery to bring Darwin's life and science to life.

ITroubIeshooterZ: (BBCZ) 9.5(l—ll).3(lpm. Sir John I larvcy-Jones visits the Ipswich brewery Tolly (‘obbold where two former employees are attempting to make a management buy-out succeed.

I PaIIas 2 (Channel 4) li)pm-- 10.25am. Something of a scurrilous festive hit last year. I’allas uses stock footage ofthe

Royals combined with preposterous narration and voice-overs to tell a tale of family crisis and conspiracies. Promises to be even sharper this year. which is hardly

; surprising considering the events ofthe last twelve months. This should steam up

the parts of Windsor castle that aren‘t already. Continued daily.

I The Jack Dee Show (Channel 4) ~)—l()pm. Just what you need at this time of year. a lugubrious Scrooge figure to remind us

i that Christmas is not all ho-ho. Joining

jolly Jack are Tom Jones and American magician the AmazingJonathan.

I Lenny Henry In Dreams ( BBCI) 9.3(l—l().3(lpm. Our Len takes a half-serious. half-comic look into the world ofdreams. asking what they tell us about our psyche. Helping him are Dawn French. Barry Norman and analyst Henry Gold (who looks suspiciously like Bill Paterson).

IThe Golden Girls (Channel4) 10.25-10.55pm. Blanche and Sophia have a spiritual encounter ~ but will anybody believe them?


I Gamesmaster (Channel 4) 6.3(I—7pm. Dominik Diamond introduces more computer games antics. hints and news and gets showbiz legend Bob Ilolness to Challenge his own son to a showdown.

I Sitting Pretty (BBCI ) 8—8.3llpm. John Sullivan's melancholy sitcom continues. with Annie (Diane Bull) feeling lessthan cheerful on her birthday.

I In The Beginning (BBCz) 8.20—8.3(lpm. 5 A witty animated version of the Creation created by Bud Iiandelsman (of Punch

i and New Yorker fame) with voices

provided by John Clecsc and Harry Enfield.

I Casualty (BBCI ) 8.30—9.20pm. A special festive edition of the hospital soap. with I lolby General still recovering from Julian‘s resignation. Sandra is particularly perturbed by his absence.

I Cheers (Channel 4) ‘).(I5—l(lpm. A double-length special featuring Woody‘s wedding. with Cassandra Carla predicting disaster at every opportunity.

I Harry Entield's Festive Television Programme (BBC2)9.2()—1l)pm. In which the Old Gits take over Santa‘s Grotto. Smashie and Nicey release a Christmas single and the Scousers are nonplussed when Barry turns up with a soft southern accent. Terrific stuff.

I The Comic Strip Presents. . . WiIdTurltey (BBCZ) lll- 10.30pm. A ludicrous festive tale of a philosophical turkey (Phil (‘ornwell) who gets a bit stroppy and holds his would-be consumers Ruby Wax and Paul Bartel hostage.

I Dire Straits On Every Street (Channcl4) 10.254 1.50pm. If the kids won't go to sleep. this is guaranteed to do the trick. Mark and the lads perform their laid-back toons live in the suitably exciting venue of Basel. Switzerland.

I Midnight Service (Scottish)

I 1 .Slipiii—12.45ani. Bringing in Christmas Day with a service from lily Cathedral.


I Top Of The Tops Christmas 1992 ( BBC 1 ) 2—3pm. The annual chance to groan at all those dire number ones we‘ve suffered this year. including Wet Wet Wet.'l’asmin Archer and Right Said Fred.

I Christmas Blind Date (Scottish)

3 5.50—6.5(lpm. A special festive edition of j the dating show as showbiz‘s most famous : procuress Cilla dons her party frock.

I The Snowman (Channel 4) 6.20—6.5(lpm. The perennial Christmas favourite is back again. with Aled Jones still crooning that irritating melody.

I Only Fools And Horses ( BBCI) 6.55—8pm. Another Christmas special for Del and Rodders. with Del deciding to go ‘green' and use the fruits of the landto help his family.

I Victoria Wood’s All-Day Breakfast (BBC1)9—9.5()pm. The husband and wife team of Sally Cumbernauld and Martin Crossthwaite present the latest in daytime broadcasting. in this wicked spoof ofbanal television cliches.

IThe LikelyLads(BBC2)11.05—11.50pm.

Classic 70s festive miserabilism with Terry and Bob. the Geordie boys who put Newcastle on the comedy map in the dark ages before Viz.

I Thirty Years On: ATrihute To The Music Of Bob Dylan (Channel 4) I 1.15pm—lam. The recent New York concert featuring assorted artists interpreting Bob's songs— all except Sinead ‘Off I ler Rocker‘

; O‘Connor who thought it was Bob Marley they were revering. and unsurprisinglygot i a hostile reception.


I God Oh The Box (Channel 4)

7. 10—8. 10pm. With the ‘God-slot‘ facing imminent demise. this programme looks at the history of the religious programme. from the sanctimonious to the unintentionally comic.

I Darling Buds or May Christmas Special (Scottish) 7.30—8.30pm. The Larkin family get into the festive spirit when Pop and Ma head off for a rare holiday.

I Loveioy: The Prague Sun(BBC1) 8.15—9.50pm. Prague is the setting for a Christmas special. with our hero scouring the city for diamonds hidden during the

I A Ghost Story For Christmas - AWaming

E ToTheCurious(BBC2)11—11.5()pm.A

spooky festive tale of the supernatural.

I Americana: Rich (Channel 4)

10—1 1.05pm. Jonathan Ross concludes his look at the tackier end of American life with an investigation of some of the more ways of turning a buck that the Yanks have devised.


I More Auntie’s Bloomers (BBC 1) 7.15—8.05pm. Terry Wogan reprises his role as the BBC’s answer to Denis Norden. picking out blunders and embarrassing moments from the Corporation‘s back catalogue.

I Hard News (Channel 4) 7. 15—8. 15pm. Ray Snoddy returns with a new series of the investigative media show beloved of San journalists. Not.

I Miss Marple: The Mirror Crack’d (BBCI) 8.05—10pm. Joan Ilickson stars in another beautifully-made if painfully slow Agatha Christie adaptation. investigating the mysterious and pointless theft of the letter ‘e‘ from a perfectly good past participle. I Funny Business (BBCZ) 9.05—10pm. More behind-the-scenes investigation of how comedy works or doesn‘t.


I Granadaland (BBCZ) 8pm—midnight. A tribute to the glory days ofGranada Television. with shows including a classic

Coronation Street episode . a pro-celebrity version of University Challenge (featuring Stephen Fry as both alumnus and jaded graduate) and a round-up ofGranada‘s musical highlights. See preview.

I An Angel at My Table: To The Island (Channel 4) 9—l()pm. Another chance to see Jane Campion's acclaimed biography of New Zealand writer Janet Frame. screened over three successive nights.

I One Jasper Carrott(BBC1)

1 9.05—9.55pm. The Brunmmie comedian I performs his rambling but topical material

live on stage.

I One Foot In The Grave (BBCI) 9.55—1().25pm. A repeat showing forlast year's Christmas special episode with

Richard Wilson as the curmudgeonly : Victor Meldrew.


I Merry Christmas Mr Bean (Scottish) 8—8.3(lpm. Rowan Atkinson stars as the annoying twerp. trying to cook Christmas dinner for his girlfriend.

I The Vampyr- A Soap Opera (BBCZ) 9—9.25pm. An action-packed modern day interpretation of I Ieinrich Marschner‘s 19th century opera shot in the style ofa soap opera with the dialogue sung. See feature.

I The Bogie Man (BBCZ) 9.25-10.25pm. Robbie Coltrane is Francis Forbes Clunie (Clunie the loony) on the run from a mental hospital and under the delusion he is Humphrey Bogart. in Paul Pender‘s adaptation of the cult graphic novel. See feature.

I Curtis Stigers Live In Concert (BBCI)

l 1.35pm—12. 15am. A live show from the inoffensive American crooner much admired by our advertising manager.

I Roger Mellie (Channel 4)

11.45—1 l .5()pm. The mighty Roger (voice courtesy of Peter Cook) returns to vour screens with a somewhat raunched-up

version of the Anneka Rice show. entitled Challenge Roger.


I Travelog (Channel 4) 8.3(l-9pm. The Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan has been open to visitors for only twenty years. They‘ll be closing the borders again very soon when they realise the folly of allowing Robert Elms in. I Porridge (BBCI ) 9.30—10. 15pm. A festive special from the 70s. with Fletcher less than enthusiastic about an escape Ian.

I Review 92 That Was The Year ThatWas (BBCI) 10.15—11.30pm. John Simpson presents a round-up of 1992 picking out

~ the events that shook the world -- elections in the USA and Britain. war in Yugoslavia. famine in Somalia. those topless Fergie shots . . . I Nightingales (Channel 4) 10.30— I lpm. The first in a new series of the surreal sitcom about a trio ofill-matched night-watchmen. starring James Ellis. Robert Lindsay and David Threlfall.


I I’m A Stranger Here Myself: Kurt Weill In America (BBCZ) 8—9pm. The story of Kurt Weill's strange relationship with American popular theatre. telling how he adjusted his style to fit in with his adopted country‘s tastes.

I Personal Best (BBCI ) 8.40—9.3(lpm. Jackie Bird produces. directs and presents a report on the fightback to health by athlete Cameron Sharp after a horrific car crash.

I The Doug Anthony Allstars ( BBCZ) 9.25—9.55pm. The frenetic Aussie comics strut their stuff on the small-screen forthe first time. See preview.

I EXS: Beyond The Grave ( BBCI) 9.30—10pm. A profile ofthe popular comic actor Richard Wilson. who enjoys a large following in One Foot In The Grave.

I Rah C. Neshitt(BBC1)10.20—11.05pm. It‘s all set for an acrimonious I logmanay in the Nesbitt household as Mary‘s relatives come up from England for the festive season.

I Scotch 'N Wry(BBCl ) l l.()5—l 1.45pm. The perennial favourite Rikki Fulton dishes up his annual dose of sketches and skits to a presumably paralytic audience. I Out With The Old (Scottish)

1 1.5(lpm—lam. Traditional bells. bevvy and tartan-style IIogmanay stuff for those who like that sort ofthing and are still sober enough to keep their eyes open.


I Air An Dir (Scottish) 6—7pm. A stylish if somewhat bizarre drama-documentary about the childhood of Runrig in 50s Skye. where their native Gaelic culture clashes with rock ‘n' roll.

I Madstock: The Movie (Channel 4) 7—8pm. Madness caught in concert at their reunion gig in London's Finsbury Park

1 earlier this year. See feature.

I Taggart: Fatal Inheritance (Scottish)

8.30—lllpm.Afcature-length episodewith '

Mark Mcmanus as the tough tec. Who

would believe he once appeared in

I Without Walls: Seriously Seeking Sid

- (Channel4) 8.30—9.3(lpm. A moving

tribute to the godlike genius that was Sid

l l ; Skippy? (Fact). 1 l

James. Narrated by Sid lookalike Arthur


I Love Hurts (BBCI ) 9—9.5(Ipm. A new series of the sloppy comedy romance starring Adam Faith as unappealing wide-boy Frank Carver. and Zoe Wanamaker as the object of his affections i Tessa Piggott. The series starts with Frank somewhat down on his luck.

I Rory Bremner And The Morning AtterThe YearBetore (Channel 4) Ill-l 1 .(l5pm.

Rory Bremner defects to Channel 4 to present a scurrilous round-up of 1992. Expect Chelsea strips to feature quite i

[ prominently.

The List 18 December 1992— 14January 1993 85