The List: the best one wins a bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila. Lovely.

Dot dot, dash dash

I turned on the last episode of Morse with an uneasy anticipation: prepared for the usual predictable hokum but comforted by the thought that at least at the end ofit the miserable old git would surely get his come-uppance. The only question was how: would he drown in a minging pint of Oxford real ale? Perhaps he would try playing Sonic the Hedgehog and suffer an epileptic fit? Perhaps not, but maybe an over-acting satanist librarian with a Mozart fixation would ensnare him with lacy lingerie and lure him into a real part of Oxford, like Cowley or somewhere, where he would write off his dodgy motor and jump into a shiny new Ford?

Such is the stuff as dreams are made of, because the ending of the ‘very last ever’ episode was about as final as the third part ofA Hitch hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy. And predictable as a bowl of Weetabix, to boot. Did he die? Did he drink a pint of Horlicks! He just sat there looking a bit out of sorts. his stuffy ideas about high art consigned to the ‘solved’ file while the script writers got on with their day-time jobs in the limp lettuce department of a major grocery chain.

Now ifI could just take him a bottle of tequila, I‘m sure I could persuade him that there’s more to life and he should do us all a favour before they bring him back.

Simon Hughes

Scotland Street

Edinburgh

We thought he’d just ossified on the spot, Simon.

Get our fan 5 into a letterto y g : propertieslookedafterbyN'l‘S.

LETTERS

5 Get out

Your ‘ln voluntary action‘ article (Open List 193) did not mention the National Trust for Scotland's Conservation Volunteers. who undertake conservation and management work at the fascinating

Work ranges from fencing and

woodland management to building hides and repairing old buildings.

f accommodation and transport or .' for week-long Thistle Camps. for ' which a small donation is required.

There are local groups for every region. and volunteers can opt either for weekend projects free food.

Either way. you can expect a great

deal of fun!

All you need are old clothes. stout boots and a warm sleeping bag. Many more exciting details may be had from Jim Ramsay. N'I‘S Conservation Volunteers. 5 Charlotte Square. Edinburgh EIIZ 4DU.

Mary Lockhart

Regional Information Officer

N'I‘S Kirkcaldy.

Whoops, sorry about the lapse there Mary. Even as you read this. the scribbler responsible is pulling up thistles with his bare hands.

Top parts

In the ‘lns and Outs for 1993‘ (The

List 192). having stated that Pop ' Tarts are to be in the latter category for the forthcoming twelve months. I would have thought it was . unnecessary to include Madonna in the same list. As for virtual reality sex and good old-fashioned tunes being in favour activities; are we to assume that good old-fashioned sex is now passe?

Mark Howitt

Morningside Road

Edinburgh.

Not in our book. Mark.

Extravaganza

In your 1993 Preview Feature last issue. you forgot to mention that InternationalWomen's Day fallsin March and that there will be a week of fun things and worthy workshops

organised throughout Scotland from the 8th onwards. Glasgow girlies should start by putting Thursday llth in their diaries. There‘s a women-only screening of'l'helma & Louise at the GF'I‘. followed by the Harpies & Quines Party Extravaganza at the winter gardens. Not to be missed.

Stella (.‘oombe

Harpies & Quines

PO Box 543

Glasgow G491-Y.

Sungods

I read the Pogues review and wept. for I am not a male 'l‘im football fan. I never noticed the vomit or lager on the floor (what poor sad person would?) nor did I see Spider Stacey read the lyrics off a sheet ofpaper. l was too engrossed in the sound of this ‘nondescript pub-rock band’ to hear the bellowing of football anthems. because the Pogues minus Shane McGowan are a band worth attending to. To an oppressed people they offer a release from the dirge of daily life in this land of unemployment and smug elite. In short. they transported me to the sunny side ofthe street. gViva Spider!

Lou Fergusson

Novar Drive

Glasgow.

cursnvu

'I‘ransported you to the sunny side of the street. Lou." Really." We think not. but we have something which will. . . A bottle ofthe ever wonderful Jose ('uervo Gold Tequila. .Vo w that should brighten up your day.

Stop over

Although Paul Stanley (The List letters 193) was clearly scunnered when he discovered that ScotRail didn't run Friday midnight trains between Glasgow and Edinburgh. all the gen at our disposal indicates that he is sadly not part ofsome huge

“7

trend-setting and dedicated band of public transport users after all.

We have in the past tested the market with later trains during the Edinburgh Festival in particular. Apart from on the Glenlivet Fireworks night even those heavily publicised services did not pay their way. Perhaps there is a threshold between those who on one hand want to be heading for home at half past eleven and another group who want to go on and make a complete night of it. Such hardy souls are sometimes to be seen on the first train the following morning.

So perhaps they found a solution to

having their evening curtailed. Paul lladley

Service Group manager ScotRail

Port Dundas Road

Glasgow.

Flatulence

What a lot of wind we had last week!

There were reports that gusts of wind

in Scotland were hitting almost 200 miles an hour. a 3(ltlmph storm was said to be lashing high above the Atlantic and the government published its latest plans to privatise the railways. including. incidentally. the (‘lockwork ()range. Are these large volumes of wind by any chance related?

Mat Ilain

Southpark Avenue

Glasgow

: Post Script

Address your letters to: The List Letters at: l~llligh Street. Edinburgh EH1 l'l‘Ii. Of Old Athenaeum Theatre. 179 Buchanan Street. 'v GlasgowGl ZJZ. or FaXthemto:(l3l 557 8500. We will not print yourfu/l address or : phone number. but you must include ; them. Deadline is the l’riday before publication. Keep them pithy. as long ' letters may be cut. The best letter next ,3 issue will win a bottle ofJose ( 'uervo

f Gold Tequila.

NEXT ISSUE OUT THURSDAY “FEBRUARY

The happenin’ hundred: the first instalment of our exclusive guide to who‘s name is worth dropping in Scottish culture.

()oh la la: Peter Brook‘s Impressions Du Pelleas previewed in Paris. Valentines: So what's this lurve thing all about?

- With a supporting cast of thousands including. . .Dinosaur Jnr. Elvis Costello with the Brodsky Quartet. Hellraiser Ill. Ally McCoist. The Portrait Of Dorian Gray . . . plus a troupe of hairy tattooed Americans who lift weights with unusual parts of their anatomy. Oucherama.

ORDER YOUR COPY NOW!

80 The List 29January— 11 February 1993

by Silit-tish—County Pres-siSherwood Industrial Estate. Bonnyrigg. Midlothian. Tel: 031 663 240-1.