l Great Birds of Maytest Part II: Explaining the old adage ‘One for sorrow. . .' Adventures in Motion Pictures regret leaving the Trill in the wig box in Deadly Serious. See Maytest preview.

I Cornelia Parker spends a Fleeting Moment with the Recent British Sculpture exhibition calling in at the Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art, Edinburgh. See Art preview.

I Forget all this alternative comedy Iark, time tor Rik Mayall to ditch the tart gags and settle down to a nice game show. Or is Micky Love the 905 answer to Kevin Turvey? Find out in the TV preview.

WORD or mourn

‘I suppose there is a kind of masochistic streak in the Scots, which wills abuse upon us, which makes a drama out of a crisis. and whereby a drubbing of Wednesday's kind becomes more emotionally satisfying. amounts to some kind of catharsis.‘

David Fergusson, Professor of Divinity at Aberdeen University. reckons being thrashed 5-0 by Portugal means more than just a game of two halves.

‘Having to cut a sheep open to get a lamb out. sticking your hand in its insides, these are all things I spent my childhood doing.‘

1’. J. Harvey describes how indie girls grow up in Dorset.

‘()nce our ruling set in the Highlands was betwceded. and now it is Armani'd.’

John Macleod. The Herald 's Wee Free columnist. continues his battle against the Scottish media 3‘ ‘(Iaelic mafia '.

‘Cinema has a constant. voracious need for new, young flesh. Any pretty. young thing with blonde hair. blue eyes and freckles will be hailed as a star. To be recognised as an actress is more difficult.‘

Emmanuel/e Heart. French actress and star of Un Coeur [in Hiver, describes the trials of being taken seriously on the silver screen.

‘I thought mine were tortuous enough. but there must be some sort of UN statute on the books to protect us from such cruel and unusual puns as “The wages of single life is social death". “clitoris allsons" and “coq up au vin".'

Julie Burchill reviews Jilly Cooper s new novel The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous.

The List 7 3().\l;i_\ 19933