For over seven years, The List has been asking the bluntest questions and getting the sharpest answers. To celebrate 200 issues, we flicked through the back copies and pulled out a few of the most memorable mouthings.

‘lfl were a bad lyricist. there‘s a vague possibility we might be more successful.‘ lloyd Cole, in a modest mood (issue 5, ilov 85)

‘For some reason. many of the locals seem to be obsessed with the toilet habits of the camp, and talk about ‘contamination‘. i think they are subconsciously expressing their fears about that bigger structure on the other side of the road. but cannot bring themselves to say so.’ Jane, Feslane Peace Camp (issue 10, Feb 88)

‘No son. you’ve got it wrong. I’m a fat, rich bastard.’

Bernard Mannleg responds to the heinous accusation that he’s a tat gated (issue 18, June

, ., 2, .. ucking Arts Council.

they don‘t know. “What is

a painting? Can you shoot


Robbie Coitrae (Issue

35, Feb 88)

'People are wanting to look successful and they’re not expressing individuality so much because they’re scared. They want to look as if they have a job.’ Katharine timeout (issue 54, ilov 81)

“i think in any circumstances a good read is better than a good film.‘ Bill Porsyth, illm director (issue 55, ilov 81)

‘Trocchi made a feature of his addiction. and l loved that arrogance that was in him. Though it destroyed a very great literary talent. somehow i prefer that to what happened to other talents. They‘re on TV now, marketing their books.‘ Torn McGrath, playwright, mourns novelist Alexander 'lrocchi (issue


‘The fact that the last album did not take off made some of the songs a joke. “Candybar Express“ was basically saying be a sucker for success. so the whole song makes me look like a dick because it was a flop.‘

James Crant, Love 8

Money (issue 78, Sept 88)

‘l‘ve always rather enjoyed the fact that my books have received such different readings depending on the experience of life the reader brings to the book. i think this book is no exception.‘

Saiman Rushdie, pre- iatwa (issue 79, Oct 88)

‘l‘m immensely proud of "Sweet lnvisibility“ as a musical achievement. as it combines a post- structuralist lyric about the vaporising of political consciousness after Scottish deindustrialisation with this incredibly ethnic Latin track.’

Pat Kane reverting to type (issue 83, liec 88)

‘There‘s one moment where we met up with two gorilla groups at once. That‘s about a fifth of the world‘s total gorilla population in the shot at once, with three silverbacks all charging each other and our Sigoumey (Weaver) right in the middle. But try as we might, we just couldn’t find a way of integrating it into the narrative.’ Michael Apied, director of Gorillas In The Mist (issue 88, Jan 89)

‘People accuse them and me of preaching to the converted. but the fact is that if all the people who’ve seen our shows had been converted we would have been living in a very different kind of country.‘

John McCrath, playwright (Issue 87, Feb 89)

‘Sex is everywhere. It is in the air. the street -- talking to a journalist. 1 consider that is a kind of sex too.‘ Peter Mamonov oi Russian rock group 2vukl Mu (issue 92, April 89)

‘1 get bored shitless by these people fucking going on about what they did when they went to Nicaragua.‘

Charlie Reid, Proclaimers (issue 53, Oct 87)

‘l‘m telling you. it'll be rough. Take your jeans. Take your flea powder. Take your rape alarm. The last person who came back from there said Vietnam had nothing on Archaos.‘

Archaos publicist Mark

Borkowski warns Stephanie Billen that she might have a rough interview in store (issu 100, Aug 89) r

‘A lot of people have had sex when there was so little feeling involved they‘ve thought “Well. gee. I guess I shoulda just jacked off." But for myself. I try to treat masturbation as something you do. you know. like press-ups. Nothing heavy. just an outlet to release tension. But it‘s a guilt thing. You feel sometimes that that was just a .rtoopid thing to do.’

Steven Soderbergh, director oi Sex, lies And Videotape (issue 103, Sept 88)

’We‘ve had pollution. then noise pollution and now cultural noise pollution!‘

Disgruntled iiamburg resident on the problems of having Test llapt rehearse a show next door (issue 103, Sept 88)

‘lfl say darling once more. say Buzz! l‘m bugging everyone at the moment. i keep calling them darling. You must stop me. i mustn‘t say darling. . . 1‘“ wake up one morning and l’ll be Lionel Blair.‘

An unusually self-aware John Sessions (issue 104,


‘lfl get run over by a bus. I want a bloody fast ambulance. i want a good few pints of blood and i want to have stitches. thank you very much! The holistic approach of rubbing arnica into the wound is pointless. because you‘d be dead.‘ Martin Iiunt, practitioner oi complementary medicine, explains the diiierence between the words ‘complementary’ and ‘alternative’ (issue 105, Sep 89)

‘Filmjournalism in this country is extremely immature and badly prepared. in France. their sophisticated use of vocabulary and terminology and their range of relating cinema to all the other artforms is so much richer than anything over here. . . ln

terms of British film culture. halfthe time I feel like I‘m a hippopotamus in a giraffe race.‘

Peter Creenaway (issue 106, Oct 88)

'l‘ve never bought a soundtrack album in my life. I don‘t know why people buy them.‘ Michael ityman, celebrated soundtrack geoptposer (issue 108, Oct

‘lt’s hamburgerology the McDonalds school of composition. A small amount of meat of dubious origin; a lot of bread; a great deal of skilfully blended dressing; and a marketing strategy that's unassailable.’ Singer and satirist Kit liesketit Iiarvey on Andrew lloyd Webber (issue 188, iiov 89)


t’s like eating chocolate cake, one spoonful too much and you feel sick.‘ Kylie Minogne on Neighbours, speaking for us all. (lssue111, liec 89)

'I didn’t sit down with the intention of acting like a microscope and looking at the bacteria that is destroying us, but l think that’s what 1 did. From my earliest memory, 1 was fascinated by how people could hurt each other. l’ve hurt a lot of people myself. but that has bewildered me as much as anythin else.‘ iiubert Selby, author oi Last Exit to Brooklyn (issue 111 , line 89)

'l’m so sick of this thing when actors are flogged to death in the week before they go on and they face the public exhausted. i just find it so painful. The public have come to this ludicrously over-priced medium and if they come in one of the first four nights. they will usually see a dreadful show.‘ lain Reggie, playwright (issue111, Dec 89)

‘There are one or two people in Hollywood who have decided l‘m John Belushi. When you get a reputation for being a hellraiser. it means that the last time the English press saw you. you were nearly as drunk as they were.‘

Robbie Coltrane (issue 114, Feb 90)

6 The List 7—20 May I993