J BAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME FEATURE
forward and two steps back with Nowhere To Run. Here the intention has obviously been to for the CIA.
broaden his fan base beyond the knuckle- 500' m h. 3'" fOHOWine the the DUI . h Lund . fen
trailing hordes who just like watching him bPCl‘S §uCF¢SS 01: Under Siege. . .. . .. . . . high-kicking seven shades of bodily matter “’“h m d‘mmnal debut SP1"t
I out of freshly lobotomised opponents, but, 31%;: Ermiszims mmmg “"3 sadly, in attempting a would-be touching ° domestic drama with intermittent mayhem All muscle an d no Brian Bosworth
asides, the dear cha has come somethin of a , Grower, p g talent, or misunder- Escaping from a prison bus in the very first stood thespians in
scene, Van Damme plays Sam Gillen, a search of a real acting - d' ' t th who 'ust , French Cana ian convic on e run J Challenge? The Llst
happens to wind up near the small farm ‘ ’ 1‘ ' ‘ ¢ .. _ , owned by Rosanna Arquette’s struggling casts an eye over the a He] 3‘" I h . widow Clyde. She’s faced with the task of rest of Hollywood’s V "z i the, f ".4; bringing up two small children on her own Class Chassis mm M? The perfect balance of (one of which is Kieran ‘Macauley sibling’ y ° brains and brawn, Lundgren Culkin, no less), but as if that wasn’t enough, at“ snapped uP a degree from the
Royal institute of Technology in his native Stockholm, before
she also inds erse en ingo e Arnold Schwarzene er \
'ncreasin I violent a roaches of Joss ~ “ ‘ ‘ . .
1Ackland Edd his corruppt land developers who Who ho? The baby or the peaora' swappmg ms Master Of Ans for h f p th ,1 " pack, the 802 was a linebacker a Masters of the Universe screen
want to tomove CF mm ‘3 Prope Y ‘ Y with the Seattle Soahawks who image. Beefcake minor roles
any means necessary. Needless to say, Jean-
. , , , swapped a hardman image on the have given way to action fare Claude pitches in to help, falls in love With
field for one on the screen. Debut With a CUlt edge (The PuniSher.
Rosanna, PTOVidCS a “"13 Paternal gUidanCC Stone Cold saw him as an Dark Angel). He may have for her fatherleSS anP€tS and. lest we get undercover cop whose main fought Stallone (Rocky IV) and restless, biffs the unscrupulous baddies firme delight was cracking the heads of Van Damme (Universal Soldier) on the nose at twenty-minute intervals, biker nasties. Acting talent was. on-screen, but surely his bravest All of which is so prepackaged the narrative f’hmv OVPtShadOWCd by . "‘9‘"? W35 htS Off‘SCt'CCh 118150" impresswe stunt work, so his With Grace Jones.
never begins to have any life of its own, and
Van Damme’s efforts at contorting his face Staying power is debatable“ But at mum." “no”: Okay’
least he wrote thank-you letters to we know you’ve got a brain. but
muscles to convey grief, love, anguish etc I .I the journalists Who gave his was it necessary to read books exist at a Bronsonian level of pitiable Who he? Born 45 years ago in movie a decent review, on philosophy between takes on ineptness. A shame really, but for the Austria. Arnie has Powered his Embarrassing moments: Was that the Masters of the Universe set? wa)’ fromrdY‘bUighg hfflmat; blue dye on the mohawk hair-do 300" '0 he 800“ som¢timc this ‘ statue tot e surest x-o ice t ma“ neccss dun'n those summer as a hunted former Jean'maude pltches In to help! tans in the world. After seven Mr NFLydays? my g racing car driver in Joshua Tree. In love with Rosanna, provides a little Olympia and ﬁve Mr Universe sm to a. w on a video shelf paternal guidance for her tatherless titles. he gave up the ‘spon’ to near you.
nippers and, lest we get restless, biffs 3?;‘Eegna:;gh ﬁfties; i i , y in- aw the unscrupulous baddies firmly on, George Bush “(my (in that order). s I s H the nose at twenty minute intervals. Bum”, “mum Having vestet ta one
his voice dubbed in title role debut, ‘ ‘
aficionados there are a couple of Hercuies lGn New York aka com ensations: a he ets his kit off and b Herc“ es 0“ Bananas- p () g () SoootohesoeitinThelast
there’s ajoke about his penis. One thing you have to say about Jean-Claude is that he approaches his genitals with a sense of fun. ‘l’m very happy to do nudity from behind,’ he smiles ‘because l’m proud of my body and in twenty years’ time I can show my kids how n good their dad looked. I don’t really want to Steven sea ' a' do nudity from the front though, because I’m if worried about losing some of my fans.’ I " The only other thing that appears to worry
Action Hero, a son of Purple Rose of Cairo meets typical Arnie action, due for release on 30 July.
VIII he? Real rags-to-riches story ' ‘ . for the kid from Hell’s Kitchen, Who ho? One Ofthe prime
him is being stuck in the action man strait- NYC' who meCd.f°ster homes movers in that inelplicablc 'acket as it were — ‘I can’t do a Tom Cruise- and SChOOI up"! $10"? to Study . phenomenon that ls the world 1 ’ , drama at the Uanet'Slty of Miami. Wrestling Federation. Hulk (a5 type role. because the audience knows Van Mind you. those skills we“: ﬁrst his friends can him) made Damme is too strong and he s gonna stait put to work in pomo movie The history as, eh, the ﬁrst WWF kicking ass right away’ — but having lured [rattan Stanton, a moniker that wrestler to appear on the cover Hong Kong havoc meister John Woo (The still sticks. Famed for inaniculate of Sport Illustrated. At 6ft 7in Killer) to Hollywood for his forthcoming and characters. he certainly proved and 2021b. he's one 0fth¢ much-anticipated Hard Target, Jean-Claude is :12“ it": ROCkYS atld thﬁe biggest bl‘", 393:] fmmdsgveh , defin' ' ° ’ ‘ . am 5 were too muc or any minor ro es on m an . e s offeréililg)canngitgkyfagggge S "‘7 Former mama] 3’15 audience. Under-rated as a writer marketed himself for a children’s . . . ’ tram“ and bOdyguard ‘0 (Oscar nomination for Rocky) but audience. It probably helps that provmonally titled The Quest that he wants to Ho" wood su H, em Michael . ‘ . star in and also direct ‘it’s B H ' h ' y pc 8 overﬂth as a comedian he s almady been so'd as a my . - 8" 10’ Wlt OVitz, Seagai used muscle of both mum“, mm Where do and a TV cartoon,
karate in 1930. A young man escapes from the literal and metaphorical kind to you sum? AS Machine Gun Joe Embarrassing moment: Hmm. France and takes a ship to the Orient, but he latch onto Cop action mOVic Viterbo in that dodgy massage The spaneg space gear in gets attacked by parrots . . .’ Projt‘vct Above The Law- Mamed ‘0 scene in Death Race 2000? The Sabufban C0mmand0? The tum
Parrots? Kelly WOW?” '" Red Le Broekv entire 87 minutes of Stop! 0r My in M 1’ Nanny? Calling Yourself
pirates. he’s a bit slicker than theothers, Mom W,” Show? ‘Hulk' because your real name is
Oh RIGHT. and more likely to give his movies so” to h. “on getting back to Terry?
a [metal Sim“- what he does best with mountain- Soon to be seen drowning in Nowhere To Run 0 B'th "m: Rumour top action movie Cliﬁ‘hanger, due more and more self-parody when pens across Scotland on has it he was once a bounty hunter for release in July. the wrestling fad passes.
Friday 21st May.
The List 2| May—3 June 1993 11